{"id":6407,"date":"2013-05-28T22:46:20","date_gmt":"2013-05-29T02:46:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/?p=6407"},"modified":"2013-05-28T22:46:22","modified_gmt":"2013-05-29T02:46:22","slug":"tuesday-night-sam-at-21","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/2013\/05\/28\/tuesday-night-sam-at-21\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday night – Sam at 21"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Today Sam turns 21.. Maybe not here in this world, but 21 years ago today, i was the happiest and proudest new father. It doesnt seem long ago at all. I can completely reconstruct the day in my mind.. He hours leading up to his birth.. And holding him that first time.. I remember carrying him around in one of those baby pouches while talking on work calls.. So Diane could sleep<\/p>\n

Sam, you were\/ are such A beautiful person.. So funny and smiling.. So curious and so full of life. I cant help but wonder what you'd be like now ? Would you be in college ? Would you be living here ? Would you be traveling ? Who would you be hanging out with ? What would you be interested in ? What kind of mischief would you be making. I know it might be hardto believe , but It makes me smile to think about all those questions. Things we'll never know, i know.<\/p>\n

I spent the day thinkignabout sam.. I limited my meetings to the absolute minimum…. Took a good run with diane and the dogs.. Nd just thought most of the day… Nothing important.. But it was good to be alone with my thoughts for a bit…i stopped by the richmond bridge on the way home to toss a samstone in the fast moving water for old times sake <\/p>\n

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Then around 4 we went to Gabe's lacrocross game. We got home around 7<\/p>\n

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.. I was jsut starting to cook dinner when. Out of the blue, Max showed up. Hed surprised us by coming up fro sams birthday. <\/p>\n

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I was so happy to see him.. He's such a good guy.. Words cant describe how much it means to us that he made the trip up here to be with us on his brothers birthday,.the four of us were together to tast our fifth… That was great<\/p>\n

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The four of us sat down with friend mason and had a proper family dinner with samstones and a candle for sam. We toasted sam with neighbor Jeff's dandelion wine.. Jeff came over for a toast as well. i guess thats what you do when someone you love is turning 21 you drink to their health.. Whatever that means now. <\/p>\n

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So.. My thoughts ofor the day are mixed.. Im deeply sad… Tough im a little liek that every day.. At the same time im sorrounded by the love of my family and comunnity.. And am deeply thankful for that…<\/p>\n

Were all out in the workd and enjoy ing our selves.. And for that too im thankfull..<\/p>\n

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I do miss you so much my son.. I hope that somehow in all this cosmological strangeness you can still feel our love for you… <\/p>\n

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Nite all, nite sam, happy birthday my son<\/p>\n

-me<\/p>\n

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