{"id":646,"date":"2007-01-23T08:06:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-23T12:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/2007\/01\/23\/monday-night\/"},"modified":"2007-01-23T08:06:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-23T12:06:00","slug":"monday-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/2007\/01\/23\/monday-night\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday night"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

 <\/span>I realize now that I spent a good deal of today thinking about the afterlife\u2026   <\/span>It’s a strange thing to think about at work. But that’s where my head was. I find myself constantly talking to Sam\u2026 if I’m by myself, I’m usually doing it out loud .. if I’m with people I’m doing it in my head. I talk to him about food, about the weather.. about nature..  <\/span>about the dirty dishes in the sink or mismatched socks.. or about problems with my JavaScript programming.  <\/span>I feel like I’m on some strange ‘friends and family’ plan with the astral plane.. Am I just talking to myself..?  <\/span>or is he out there in some form that can listen ?   <\/span>I got home today to find two messages from the beyond. We received a really beautiful framed picture from my friend M at work.. On it was a quote that included the line: “Know that I am vibrating to a different measure, behind a thin veil that you cannot see through” <\/i>We <\/i>also heard for our good friend S, .that she’d been to see a spiritualist who’d told her that “Sam is everywhere and always around us in spirit. even though he didn’t have a chance to fulfill everything he was capable of, his spirit will create a legacy on its own.” <\/i>I guess that’s some<\/i> consolation but I want Sam with me here and now !  <\/span><\/i>I just don’t know what to make of all this\u2026   <\/span>Before Sam died I don’t think I gave two minutes thought to eternity in any serious way. Now that he’s gone it seems to be all that I can think of. A few months ago I was a scientist who believed that everything we are\u2026 our consciousnesses .. our souls\u2026 were the ‘simple’ result  <\/span>of chemistry  <\/span>and physics..   <\/span>That’s not a very satisfying answer to me now that I’m a grieving dad. Everything I’ve seen and felt since Sam died points to much more than that. It’s so tough to ponder this.  <\/span>     <\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/span>I’ve been reading a bunch to figure out what others think on the subject. I found that I can’t read fiction right now because my attention span is too short.. and all the non-fiction we have around the house now seems to be about grieving and loss\u2026 Reading<\/st1:place><\/st1:city> about how to grieve  <\/span>is a little like trying to learn how to ride a bike from reading a book\u2026.   <\/span>sort of pointless.  <\/span> <\/span>  <\/span>With  <\/span>all other options ruled out, I’ve found that I’ve been reading a lot of poetry..  <\/span>I love poetry because the whole plot has to develop and resolve in a page or two.. I found the following by one of my favorite Poets, Billy Collins, the former poet laureate for the US<\/st1:place><\/st1:country-region>. Here’s what Mr. Collins has to say about the afterlife: <\/p>\n

 <\/o:p>The Afterlife<\/span><\/strong>
 <\/span><\/strong>
They’re moving off in all imaginable directions,<\/span><\/strong>
each according to his own private belief,<\/span><\/strong>
and this is the secret that silent Lazarus would not reveal:<\/span><\/strong>
that everyone is right, as it turns out.<\/span><\/strong>
you go to the place you always thought you would go,<\/span><\/strong>
the place you kept lit in an alcove in your head.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>Some are being shot into a funnel of flashing colors<\/span><\/strong>
into a zone of light, white as a January sun.<\/span><\/strong>
Others are standing naked before a forbidding judge who sits<\/span><\/strong>
with a golden ladder on one side, a coal chute on the other.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>Some have already joined the celestial choir<\/span><\/strong>
and are singing as if they have been doing this forever,<\/span><\/strong>
while the less inventive find themselves stuck<\/span><\/strong>
in a big air conditioned room full of food and chorus girls.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>Some are approaching the apartment of the female God,<\/span><\/strong>
a woman in her forties with short wiry hair<\/span><\/strong>
and glasses hanging from her neck by a string.<\/span><\/strong>
With one eye she regards the dead through a hole in her door.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>There are those who are squeezing into the bodies<\/span><\/strong>
of animals–eagles and leopards–and one trying on<\/span><\/strong>
the skin of a monkey like a tight suit,<\/span><\/strong>
ready to begin another life in a more simple key,<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>while others float off into some benign vagueness,<\/span><\/strong>
little units of energy heading for the ultimate elsewhere.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>There are even a few classicists being led to an underworld<\/span><\/strong>
by a mythological creature with a beard and hooves.<\/span><\/strong>
He will bring them to the mouth of the furious cave<\/span><\/strong>
guarded over by Edith Hamilton and her three-headed dog.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/span>The rest just lie on their backs in their coffins<\/span><\/strong>
wishing they could return so they could learn Italian<\/span><\/strong>
or see the pyramids, or play some golf in a light rain.<\/span><\/strong>
They wish they could wake in the morning like you<\/span><\/strong>
and stand at a window examining the winter trees,<\/span><\/strong>
every branch traced with the ghost writing of snow.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/b><\/o:p><\/p>\n

~ Billy Collins ~  <\/span><\/strong><\/o:p> <\/p>\n

 <\/o:p>Ack ! What do I believe ?! What can I really believe ??  <\/span>Oh Sam.. help me out here\u2026 send me the user’s manual from wherever you are so I can figure this out.  <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/o:p>-jc<\/p>\n

 <\/o:p><\/p>\n

 <\/o:p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 I realize now that I spent a good deal of today thinking about the afterlife\u2026   It’s a strange thing to think about at work. But that’s where my head was. I find myself constantly talking to Sam\u2026 if I’m by myself, I’m usually doing it out loud .. if I’m with people I’m doing it … Continue reading Monday night<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johncohn.org\/base\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}