Today is the storm. Visiting hours start at 4 today and will last until everyone has been through the house. Sam’s will be here in both body and spirit. I feel this will be the hardest day yet.So many poeople want to say goodbye to Sam. We said our goodbyes a week ago… for many this is the first time.  People don’t know what to say to us and we don’t know what to say to them. One thing I’ve found is that it’s not the words that help. It’s the presense and the feeling. Diane has taught me a ‘trick’ to help get through greeting new people. As you hug someone, you can actually feel the other persons heart. I know it sounds funny, but that reassurance of life repeatesd a few hundered times is a really wonderful gift.
    Today will be filled with a wierd mix of the mundane and the profound… should we put out cookies ? how do we continue our lives ? Should the font on the program be in bold ? What will Sam’s birthday be like for us.  Sometimes it’s like a hazy unreal dream… sometimes it’s too sharp and real. Nothing is like this…. nothing. We see Sam in everything we see or touch.. As wierd as it sounds, I’m getting to my first plateau of peace abotu this. I like being surrounded by my son’s stuff and his pictures. I know he is here.
I hope that helps us get through the day.. If you’re reading this..  I hope you come by and visit us this afternoon. We love you Sam.
-jc