I intended not to think about work today.. but didn’t quite manage  do that. I had to write up my annual performance self assessment. I’ll spare you the details of what I did and didn’t  do.. but thats not the point. the point is , it’s so very hard for me to sit down and account for what I did in the past year. I know i was busy.. but what did I actually get done.. ??? I went through my calendar day by day for the last year and noted what I was doing when. It’s pretty interesting.  .. one thing I can tell from that is that I really like people..  i travel a bunch.. and I work too many hours..

the hardest part is that you have to give yourself a grade.. what would you give yourself ?

nite all nite sam




I am trying to take vacation, but not doing a very good job of it.. Imneither at work or on vacation fully. I keep getting drawn into work meetings that seem to be important.. Which get me churned up.. Then i spend the rest of my day trying to unwind from them. Still im only doing about 20 percent of normal.. And that feels somewhat good. .. Just not the disconnect i was lookign for.. Im goign to really try and shut it down for the rest of the break…

Sitting here trying to watch jurrassic world and thinkignabout work… Ugh

Nite all, nite sam


Gave and I had the very good fortune to spend the morning with our friend Mike Larson.. He’s an amazing guy.. sees beauty in old stuff and brings that beauty out..





All these worlds
Rolled into one
Together we revolve around the sun
And if you get the chance
Watch the young children dance
In a little while, you will see them smile.

Truth may dazzle
It all comes out in the wash eventually
Try to catch a glean
If you know what I mean.
You may even see the cogs in the machine

Reconvene, reconnect
Raise a glass to the Architect
‘Cause it turned out better
So much better
Than we ever did expect

Find your treasures
Where you will
Don’t you stop until you’ve had your fill
Wherever you may go
Look around, take it slow
There might be more to this than we all know

And if we have the chance to see the rough draft
I bet the early plans would make us laugh
And it never seems to help when we try to intervene
Some things are better left unseen

Reconvene, reconnect
Raise a glass to the Architect
‘Cause it turned out better
So much better
Than we ever did expect

glad i have friends like Mike in my life !

nite all nite sam


Today marks the third day in our remembrance of Sam’s passing . On the 22nd four of Sam’s healthy organs went to save four peoples lives. That day was so surreal.. On the saddest day of our lives, Sam was able to give four other families hope.. and we were able to feel that through our grief. I will never forget the kindness and dedication of the transplant team at  the hospital in Clearwater Fl. as they found matches for Sam’s Heart, Kidneys and Liver.

:last night I woke in the middle of the night and remembered standing in the corridor as we watched Sam be shelled in to surgery for the donation. I’d not been able to think of that moment for the last 9 years. Every detail was clear to me as I relived that moment..

I remember what I was feeling. I was (and am) indescribably sad. (crying now as I type) . and I was so proud of Sam..  so hard to explain..

The rest of that day and the next few days, weeks, months are a blur.As fate would have it, we were able to meet on of Sam’s kidney recipient and got to know him and his family. He had 8 extra years of life because of sam before passing away this year.

We don’t know how the other three recipients faired. I can only hope that they too  had their lives enriched..  There’s beauty in not knowing what happened..

You can honor Sam’s memory right now by finding a loved one and letting them know what your wishes are around organ donation. I hope the issue never comes up in your life.. but if it does, them knowing what you would have wanted makes all the difference..

Thank you Sam for your generosity and strength …

we love you my boy


nite all, nite sam