Another busy day. I seemed to be running from the moment I woke up. First a real run with Diane and Chai.. then a mad dash for work when I realized that my 9:30 meeting actually started at 9: That first meeting was really a good one. A colleague of mine, J,  at work had set up the meeting to check in on me. He’d also suffered the loss of family members about 9 years ago and he wanted to talk to share some stories about our paths through healing. I did quite a bit of talking about Sam and my friend told me about his family’s experience.   It was particularly useful  to hear about some  of his struggles to get back to being effective at work. We had some similar stories relating to how difficult it is for your co-workers to gauge how ‘back at work’ you really are. He also observed that I appeared to be always ‘doing’ things around Sam’s memory.. He wondered if I was getting enough time to  think quietly. That really struck me as Diane had said a similar thing to me early this morning.. not that I was trying to ‘do’ to much.. but more that I need to take more time for myself to just ‘be’ .. I’m going to take both of these observations to heart and try to carve out some more quiet time for myself each week. .  It was really good talking to .J. it meant so much to me that he took the time to meet with me.

   From that point on the day was a swirl. I was double booked 2 to 3X at some times in the morning  and kept dragging myself from meeting to meeting late. I realized about lunch time that I was really not absorbing most of what I heard. The afternoon was considerably better. I was on a long conference call and had time to sit down and work on a work  project as I listened. Even there. I don’t seem to have the ability to multi-task as I once did. I really struggled to make progress  It really helps me understand what it must be like for Gabe and Max to try and get through a school day at this point.

   Before  I knew it It was 5:30 and I’d gotten a a fair amount of work done. not as much as I needed to get done.. but I had something to show for a day’s work.. I had to zoom to make it home by 6 because Diane had invited my Father’s group to the barn for a first-of-a-kind men’s’ yoga night. (Our slogan.. our schedules are flexible even if our bodies are not !) . It was a really nice evening. About 11 of us showed up.. Diane tailored the class perfectly to the group. It was a gentle class.. so gentle that I nearly dozed off twice.. It was so relaxing. It was so peaceful that no one wanted to get up after the class. Whene we were done, Diane invited everyone in for a really beautiful Greek dinner (Spanikopita, dolmari, hummus, olives, foccacia, feta, pita, salad.. yummy)  to thank them for all the help they and their families had given us over the last four and a half months. I know I’ve said it many times before.. Diane is wonderful. Anyway, we spent a good hour and a feasting and drinking beer. Way to much fun for a week night.      

   Everyone drifted off around 8:30 in time for the second night of family movie watching in a row. We spent this evening reviewing some of the finer dramatic moments of ‘Tenacious D – the pick of destiny’.. it is so stupid. Irreverent and downright idiotic  that it’s worth watching multiple times. I’ve decided in my next life I want to be Jack Black.

    I’m now too tired to keep my eyes open  now. I’m wondering how I’ll ever be prepared for my 7:30 AM conference call tomorrow morning.. or the 9:00 project presentation I’m supposed to  make tomorrow…   I am such a slacker.. I can’t figure out why that isn’t worrying me more…

   Anyway.. tiem for bed.. I love you family   I love you Sam.

-me…