It’s now the 2nd darkest night of the year.. and I can certainly feel it. I drove around most of the day doing holiday shopping in sort of a fog of remembering. It wasn’t as sad as it sounds. There are many happy memories in there. As I looked for gifts, I found myself wondering what I’d be getting for Sam… I’ve been thinking about the things I will send him this year..: love, connection, appreciation, peace.. fun…. remembering. We can all give each other gifts like that I find.
This is a season for remembering. Last Saturday there was a Remembrance service at All Children’s Hospital in Clearwater FL where Sam was after the accident. We couldn’t go.. but Parker’s Mom, Stacy, went for us. She helped us get a picture of Sam worked into the service and hung a memorial ornament on the tree there on our behalf. Stacy said that it was a beautiful and powerful service remembering about 100 kids who’d died in the hospital in the last couple of years. I can feel the emotion in the room even though I wasn’t present. I was glad that Stacy was there for us and for herself.
About two weeks ago Compassionate Friends organized a a worldwide candle lighting as a remembrance of kids who have died. On that same evening, a few folks form our community participated in a remembrance service at a church in Underhill. Our good friend Gretchen wrote a poem to read at the service. Gretchen’s sister Stephanie died more than 20 years ago when both she and Gretchen were in high school . I just caught up with Gretchen and got her permission to share it here..
Remember (by Gretchen P. Dec 8, 2007)
Remember
Look into the flame
A candle lit for remembrance
Remember
Remember my smile
Remember my laugh
Remember my hug
Remember a sunny happy day
Remember being in the snow
Remember playing music, walking down the hall, watching a parade, swimming
in the river, dancing in the rain.
Look into the flame
Remember
Remember to say my name
Remember to share our stories
Remember the hole you feel
and fill it with the love we share.
My love will never leave you
Remember my family
Remember that their loss is heavy
Remember that they need your smile and hug
Remember that they need the stories you bring
Remember that they need you to say my name
Tomorrow, next year, in 10 years, forever
Look into the flame
Remember the light that shone within me
I’ll remember the light that shone within you
Remember to keep your light burning as I do mine.
Remember that love is like the flame. When shared the flame does not lose
anything, but only becomes brighter.
Remember grief is not eternal but love is.
Look into the flame
A candle lit for remembrance
Remember
Remember my smile
Remember my laugh
Remember my hug
Remember a sunny happy day
Remember being in the snow
Remember playing music, walking down the hall, watching a parade, swimming
in the river, dancing in the rain.
Look into the flame
Remember
Remember to say my name
Remember to share our stories
Remember the hole you feel
and fill it with the love we share.
My love will never leave you
Remember my family
Remember that their loss is heavy
Remember that they need your smile and hug
Remember that they need the stories you bring
Remember that they need you to say my name
Tomorrow, next year, in 10 years, forever
Look into the flame
Remember the light that shone within me
I’ll remember the light that shone within you
Remember to keep your light burning as I do mine.
Remember that love is like the flame. When shared the flame does not lose
anything, but only becomes brighter.
Remember grief is not eternal but love is.
I think it’s beautiful and perfectly captures our intentions in remembering those we love. And we do still love you so much Sam.. I love you all..
-me
