Today was a wonderfully slow and peaceful day…   We managed to sleep until around 8 when Chai the alarm dog jumped up into bed with us. She’s not ‘sposed to do that.. but .. hey.. this is christmas !

The boys wondered in a little later on.. this is a far cry from the 5:30 or 6AM Christmas mornings of years past. The easy and low key beginning signaled the tone of the rest of the day… 

Diane and I wandered downstairs to find out that Chai had already identified her stocking and had proceeded to pull out her toys..

The guys came down a few minutes later.. we’ve always had the ttradition of video taping them coming down the stairs.That was a hard moment for me…  It was cool to see them bringing one of the Sam lamps down with them.

First things first.. we went for the stockings..    Sam’s is there in the middle.. as is our bird Gabby who passed on more than 2 years ago..  Hey live on with us too…   Gabby’s stocking had a wad of Suet for the birds outside.. Sam’s was filled with the glass SamStones that I made with Chris and cards for the two donations we made in Sam’s honor. One was a years training of a Mayan midwife in rural Mexico we made through the Seva Foundation (www.seva.org) .. And the other was a donation of three goats to a rural family which we made through the Heifer International (www.heifer.org). Both of these charities support sustainable communities in the emerging world. 

From there we launched into opening presents… including this stylish foot ware being modeled by the boys..

Here we are at the other end of the process.. It was a very nice morning.. I really liked that Diane got me gun powder and a welding torch.. Did I marry the right girl or what ?!  (ok.. so I chose them.. but still… )

Around 11is we had breakfast.. our holiday tradition of crepes and smoked salmon . We kept one of Sam’s lanterns burning throughout the day (it’s still burning.. I note at 9PM) .

The rest of the afternoon was amazingly quiet.. the boys got immersed in a new video game..

Diane went out for a snowshoe with Chai and I fell asleep for a couple of hours.. My fever seemed to break and I woke up feeling pretty good. I managed to get a few hours of welding in on the rail I’m building for Gabe.

Around 6 it was time to eat again…. 

Now we’re all about to settle in for a movie..’The Hebrew Hammer’ ..that Max got for me.  a Saturday night live spoof on a Jewish action hero.. yeah.. right.. .. The quiet end of a quiet day..

So much has changed with our family.. yet.. we are still so lucky.. We have so much love between us..

Merry Christmas everyone.. Merry Christmas Sam.. we love you very much
-me

It’s almost 2AM on Christmas Eve and I’m just lying down to do this blog. I apologize if it’s rushed. Another Christmas and with it come such a mix of emotions. We’ve had a really good day just hanging out with friends, wrapping presents, eating.. like just about everyone else we know… At the same time, missing Sam is taking nearly all of my energy .. Still it feels OK to me in some other worldly sort of way. I feel  like Sam would be (is) proud of us for enjoying ourselves as much as we are.

We had a steady stream of drop bys today. It was great having these short visits with friends just to say happy holidays…   Just after lunch we ventured out to decorate our tree in the woods.

On our way over, Gabe took us on a short detour to see a beutiful christmas card herd made for all of us in the snow. I never new you could use spray piant on snow.. but look, it works !

Decorating a tree outdoors  is a tradition we’ve had for many, many years.. we take our old baked goods, smear some of them with peanut butter and birdseed and hang them on this one evergreen back up in the woods. It was a tough climb getting there today without snowshoes. The snow was still 1,5 feet deep and crusty.. We kept falling in.

We got to the tree and laid out our goodies and proceeded to decorate. Gabe developed a cool way of hanging bagels and donuts.. You tie two together and through it like a bolo. Works every time !

We had the tree looking beautiful in no time. It was fun being there today. I was also  thinking of Sam in that beautiful spot.. and all the times he was with us there… 

We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out and wrapping presents. Around 5 we all went up to the Black Bear inn on Bolton Mountain. Tim, Jen , Coc . Marie and Nate had invited us to meet them up there..I’d actually never been in the place.. even though Brian and Jill, the owners, are  friends of ours.It was a really, really  wonderful meal.  I strongly recommend the place !

We got back to the house abotu 8.. and played a quiet game of who-Monopoly , (Gabe won).. Around 10 everyone decided to go to bed. It’s been a good day..
I”m looking forward to Christmas day…

Merry christmas everyone. Merry Christmas Sam. You’ll be there in our hearts tomorrow…

-me

It was a rainy and gloomy day outdoors.. the perfect kind of day to work indoors.
I spent a good part of the day working on the shotgun rail that I’m making for Gabe. I love trying to figure out how to get the shape in my mind to come together for me in metal. It’s like the ultimate ‘making’ material because anything you can imagine, you can make quickly.

Here I am dressed up for metal mayhem.. I still can’t get the smell of burning steel out of my skin and clothes,

I had some MIG metal bending parts to make.. luckily the wood stove was hot enough to work the steel. Someday I’d like a bigger torch so that I could control the heating better.. For now, this will have to do.

 I had a couple of those dope-slap moments today.. first I couldn’t figure out why my metal drop saw wasn’t cutting anything very well.. I looked in and saw that the blade was worn down to a tiny fraction of it’s original size. here’s the old blade and a new blade side by side.

Then … all of a sudden my welds started spattering really badly.. I tried adjusting current and the feeds.. then realize..Doh !… I’m outta gas again. I hope that one of the welding shops is open tomorrow morning so I can get some more.. Id’; like to get this rail finished tomorrow

Gabe and Trevor finally surface about mid day an made themselves a feast.. They went up to the mountain despite todays rain..

In the early afternoon,  our friend Heather from Dragonfly gifts came over to deliver a special gift from Aunt Shaun (thanks Shaun !!!!). We had a great conversation with Heather. She’s a connected spirit for sure. ..

Chai bore the brunt of today’s bad weather. she just had to hang out inside.. Awwww poor Chai !….

THis evening we went to the Hester’s Christmas party.. on the way there I happene to notice the outside temperature.. it was 50 degrees !!!About 30 degrees warmer than normal for this time of year.. Luckily.. the snow cover seems to be holding.. we’ll have to see what tomorrow brings in terms of weather before we can clain that we’ll have a white Christmas.

It was great going to the Hester’s.. There were so many people there that I hadn’t seen in a long while.. I spent a bunch of time talking to my old IBM boss Les and his wife Mimi.. I love those guys and had sort of fallen out of touch. it was great catching up.  

George, Hannah D’s Ob/Gyn was there.. right after I talked to him. My phone rang. It was Hannah !.. She is in the hospital and dilating !  She’s going to have that baby tonight !!!!   Good luck Hannah and Dave.. talk to you in the morning !
 
There was a great sing along at the party.. many voices and some beautiful songs..

One of the songs they sung was Shalom Chavarim ..   the old Hebrew standard, sung as a round.

Peace out everyone.. Peace out my Sam..
-me

It’s the first day of winter and it feels like it. It’s not that cold.. high 20’s and windy.. but the gray sky just signal the long cold months ahead.

The gray skies were the backdrop for Kate T’s funeral at Good Shepard Lutheran this afternoon. It’s hard for me to talk about it much. It is so hard to see a bright young life like Kate’s cut so short. It was also so very hard to see Tom and Beth and family going through this… I felt so sad.. and at the same time.. I felt centered and calm. Death has such a different meaning to me now.  I know that there is nothing that we or anyone can tell them to ease the process of surviving.. … nothing that will make it go quicker..  I  admire their ability to stand in front of the congregation of their friends and talk about Kate.. I know what that takes to do.. Somehow your heart gives you the strength to do what needs to be done. I wish them all peace.. Kate too.. I wish it with all my heart.
  

I remember thinking last year after Sam’s Memorial service that it was so remarkable that everyone there… except us… could leave that place and return to the ‘real’ world and their daily lives.. How could that be ? Still.. I found myself returning home to my workshop to work on a project I’m building for Gabe.    It does feel funky to right about that after writing about Kate…  Still life goes on… It has somehow for us.. never the same.. but it goes on.

The project we’re building is a 10 foot shotgun rail for snowboarding.   Gabe and trevor helped me cut out the leg braces out of 1.5 inch square tube stock.. They seemed to like the sparks.

After half a day in there I have metal dust and splinters in every pore of my body. tomorrow we will  weld on the legs and we can try it out. I find making stuff .. especially stuff for my family.. to be one of the most meditative and healing things I do.

Gabe and Trevor abandoned me on the early side to my sparks in order to bake a pre Christmas cake…   It was yummy.. so it was a good trade-off

Later in the evening we went up to Jen and Tim’s .. Jen’s sister Coco is in town . It was good to see them. Tim was playing bartender and made us drink these weird blue drinks … I’m still seeing things.. I think . 

We spent a good part of dinner trading Sam stories.. Especially ones about the remarkable coincidences we keep having since his passing. We had Chai up there to see there dog Wilbur and cat KrunkBeast.. Their other dog.. and our good friend Freddie died earlier this week. He was a great dog… I could tell that Chai missed him…

I did manage to catch the cat  Krunk playing Katzilla in the Christmas scene.. un for your lives !

We got home around 11.. but Gabe and Trevor were not tired enough to sleep.. They went out and had a snowball fight while they could. The snow’s going to get pretty messy tomorrow.. we’re expecting up to an inch of rain.. on top of the 2 feet of snow.. it’s going to be a mess.

Time  settle into winter..and the holiday week. Keep warm everyone.. old your families tight.. and please send love to Tom, Beth and Kate …

Gnite all.. Goodnight Sam.. We love you
-me