11PM and just home from an 800 mile loop that included Brooklyn, Armonk, and Cambridge. At one level I really enjoy trips like this. I really love all the quiet uninterrupted personal time while driving. At the same time I miss my family like crazy when I’m away. I’m really going t be ratcheting back on travel when I take this new temporary assignment in November.

 

Today was fun and productive. It started at Ruchir and Rashi’s.. As always, those guys were amazing hosts. By the time I got down for breakfast this morning, Rashi was already cooking breakfast… today it was delicious pancakes made of fermented rice and lentils mixed with onion and peppers. It was so tasty..

After a  quick breakfast, I got on the road for Cambridge. I was on work calls in route all the way. Phone calls make the miles really melt away.  It seemed like the 3 hour drive took about 20 minutes.

 I get these messages every time I drive

I got to Cambridge around noon,  jus tin time to be able to help host one of the lunch tables at the seminar I was speaking at. This is one of my favorite aspects of my job.. the ability to sit down and talk to large groups of new, smart and motivated people all the  time. These folks were  about 150  mid career ‘high potential’ technical employees from our software, services and research organizations. I learned so much by talking to them.

After lunch I had a bunch of day job stuff to do.. Around 2:30 I wondered down to give my talk on technical career development. Like always, I was so nervous before the talk.. I was having trouble getting myself jazzed to give a fun and inspiring talk… ‘fun’ is hard to do on demand.. and given how low I’ve been feeling lately.. I was worried.. Somehow, though.. when they told me to start talking.. I started having fun.. and the talk went pretty well.  One interesting observation from this group is that most of them have change jobs several times even though they’ve only been around for 10 years or so. I told them that I was a poor role model for them because I’m basically in the same job  I was hired into in 1981.   Maybe that why  taking this  new rotational assignment feels like such a big deal to me.,

 

After my talk I moderated a career panel which had  4 senior technical folks from different  organizations.

It was great getting these folks perspective on career dos and don’ts. I got much out of listening to them..   One of the questions we got as a panel was about work-life balance.. The women asked if we had made many life compromises to advance in the company.. The panel had some great comments on that… Then I added my story about Sam’s passing. I told them that I had done a bunch of questioning  over the last 10 months about work-life issues. Had I worked to hard ? too much ? to intensely.. I admitted that even though I’ve still had lots of fun, I think I’ve worried too much about work stuff over the past  26 year.  I also know that Sam’s passing has really fundamentally changed the way I view my priorities. Talking about it got me pretty choked up.. but I got my thoughts out.  I knew I had to talk about Sam in that forum.. yet I was also worried  about the  effect that story might have on the crowd. The response was actually wonderful. I had some many folks come up and talk to me about Sam after the talk. It made me happy that I’d responded to the panel question from my heart. 

 

The panel was over a bit after 4… It was 4:30 by the time I got out of there. I had a 5-6 meeting I had to pre for .. so I fund a spare office and got to work… After my meeting I grabbed a quick byte in the  Cambridge Mall food court. This was the same place that Sam and I had eaten when we were down here 4 years ago on a field trip..  

I then found my car and started heading north. There was a beautiful moon rising and the traffic was light.

It was a great evening for driving.    My one disappointment was that I was too late to catch  Hooksett Fireworks.. (though I had a nice phone call with the great lady that owns the place)..

 

Now that I’m home I’m really, really tired.. Time for bed..   I walked upstaris and found that soemone  had booby trapped the stairs with a taling skeleton.. (Gabe ?!?)

Talk to you all tomorrow

 

-‘Nite all.. ‘Nite Sam.

 

-me

 

 

Greetings from Somers NY. I spent the day at IBM Headquarters trying to jungle too many things. My day got off to a strange start when I realized that the only footwear I had with me was my Birkenstocks.. It s pretty typical of the lapses in mindfulness  that I find my self making all the time now. I was thinking that I would look pretty snazzy with my slacks and sport coat and sandals.. I was about to go into my meeting when I realized that my real shoes were in a separate bag  in the car..  One embarrassment avoided…

 

This morning I attended a conference for new-ish employees.. I say new-ish because thaty all had somewhere between 0 and 10 years of service. There were some  good kick off  talks including ones from My bosses boss.. and my friend Kerrie from Ca.   I co-lead a panel on patents and IP.. It went well enough.. not great.. but lots of questions and a few laughs.

Me in the IBM Learning Cneter Cafeteria

I spent the afternoon bouncing back and forth between day-job meetings and some early ramp up on my rotational assignment.  I met with my buddy Tim-from-Texas about a video project that we’re planning on doing. He’s going to be really fun to work with. I also met with the outreach team.  I really like  the folks I’m going to be working with.

Friends Nora, Eric and Grace

I’m also  starting to get a better idea of what I’ll be able to do for them. I’m nervous and excited about the new challenge.. I guess you’ll all follow me on that journey.. again.. I plan to transition at the beginning of Nov.

 

My day job meetings ran until about 7… I grabbed a quick snack with my friend Jeff from Minnesota who was in for the same early tenure conference.. then I headed out to Ruchir and Rashi’s

 

I got here about 8:30 . I’d been feeling so blue all day.. (Big Blue !)..   Ruchir gave me a big hug when I walked in the door and that made me realize that that was what I’d been needing all day. It feels like a home away from home here.

 

The two kids, Isha(7) and Anika (nearly 3) were sitting at the table ready to eat. Rashi was making fresh pratha it smelled, looked  and tasted wonderful as usual.    We had lotus bean curry, dahl , pratha, potato broccoli curry ,and  fresh mint/coriander chutney .. What’s more they had some really good hot mango and lime pickle.. Even the though of that makes my mouth water

 Yumm !

After A nice leisurely dinner.. I goofed around with the kids.. we read some books, played with my glasses.. and took these  flattering portraits. 

 Isha in my glasses

Anika trys them on too

Ooop.. It’s late again.. I have an early day tomorrow.. so I’ll end here..

 

Subha ratri (good night)  everyone . Subha ratri Sam

 

-me

 ps. Gabe just posted this awsome cork 720 form me.. Check this out

 

Today was Yom Kippur and I spent it quietly here at home. I decided not to go to shul (temple) . Last night and last week were fine.. but I felt better about being by myself. I did do the traditional Fast from last night. The idea of the fast is to clear you mind of worldly things. So you can concentrate on more spiritual things… like how hungry you are. I’ve fasted every Yom Kippur since I was little.. but I never remember it being as easy as today. I’ve really no been eating that much the last month or so anyway.. I usually get pretty light headed, spacey and cranky after about 4 hours without food.. today I barely felt it. I think I know have such a different scale of pain that this didn’t even register. I guess that’s a good thing…

 

Not much else really happened today… Gabe and his friends hd camped out on the tramp.. again.. I think they got pretty wet from the dew.. but they slept late enough that the sun dried them before they woke. 

Gabe got out the spray cans again and ended up being the boy with the golden toe.

 
 

Around 4ish Diane and I took a short walk.. As we were coming back to the house, we saw Gabe and a bunch of kids coming down the road towards us. From the that distance it was hard to tell that Sam wasn’t with them. It’s kind of nice when that happens.

 

Around 7 a bunch of friends came over to help us replenish the SamStones stock. We move through them so quickly now. Check out the SamStones.Org map to see the large number of Stones getting out there.. Jen estimates we’re over 2000.  I get many  notes of them being placed and/or found every day now.

 

A picture Avery had that Sam gave to her

As folks started to disperse tonight, a few of us started watching an amazing thing on YouTube. All this week I’d heard of a moving ‘Last Lecture’ which was given last week by Prof. Randy Paush a 46 year old professor at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) where I did my grad work. Randy is a pioneer in Virtual Reality and is the creator of Alice.. the game authoring tool used by many universities including my buddies Anne and Hpe’s program at Champlain. Randy’s been diagnosed with an advanced and  incurable form of pancreatic cancer. Evidently he has only a few weeks left to live. / He chose to give one last university lecture on ‘Achieving your dreams’ . I’ve received 6 emails from friends with links to videos of the lecture. It was covered in the Wall Street Journal. SlashDot, ComputerWorld. The CMU press. Etc. I found the lectures on YouTube   During the hour, Randy talks about growing u. his parents, his mentors and his students and his work. I was interested  in the latter  because Randy’s been a pioneer in the use of gaming and virtual world technology for education.. which is the field I’m entering for my sabbatical. He has some great observations on making your dreams come true. I found it really inspirational.. and one of the most amazing examples of grace under pressure I’ve seen . It’s really worth watching if you have the time..

 

Here’s an edited version of the highlights of the talk.

 

 

 

Here are the links to the unedited segments on YouTube.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HqdnjgkExY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_5cTuXrpNI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PYIAbIlQ8o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J18CnoQbizA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC-v8A2_biM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHNBqm8xtE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8azl1hqUaM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_VcjTG4xh4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5H5R2hC45o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnD7i9XHL7k

 

OK.. Now time to sleep. I’m leaving early tomorrow to go down and see Max.. I’ll report more from down there.

 

Goodnight all. Goodnight Sam

-me

Tonight is Erev Yom Kippur, The beginning of the day of Atonement.. the holiest time of the year for Jews. It’s also 10 months today since Sam’s death.

I went  to services at UVM tonight with my friend Jake. .. There’s a small group of about 50 Jews who meet there on the High Holy days Yom Kippur is when you’re supposed ot be sealed in the Book of Life for the coming year.. There’s a lot of focus on those who have died in the previous year. I thought it was going to be hard for me to go through that.. I held Sam’s picture as we went through the Mourner’s Kaddish.. the prayer for the dead.. . I’ve been thinking abut this night for nearly all of the past 10 months. It was a hard.. but not nearly so hard as I imagined.   As always the things you expect are not the hardest.

Yom Kippur is the day when you reflect on all the things you fell short on in the past year… You’re supposed to think of  all the people you wronged, all the  promises to yourself you failed to keep, all the folks you let down. Then you’re supposed to  ask for forgiveness.. whether it be from G-d.. the folks you wronged. or even yourself. . If you know any Jewish people, it’s not unusual for them to come looking for you around this time of year an apologize for something they did.. or did not do in the past year.   So… let me take this opportunity to apologize to any one of you that I may have done wrong to this past year.. I know that I haven’t been at my best these past 10 months.

We recite a prayer called Kol Nidre (Hebrew: ?? ????)  which is actually in Arameic.. though written in Hebrew transliteration.. It calls for all vows you made in the past year to be annulled.  Translated it goes

All personal vows we are likely to make, all personal oaths and pledges we are likely to take between this Yom Kippur and the next Yom Kippur, we publicly renounce. Let them all be relinquished and abandoned, null and void, neither firm nor established. Let our personal vows, pledges and oaths be considered neither vows nor pledges nor oaths.

It’s a great purging ritual.. it also has always struck me as something of a cosmic cop out. I do love the music  though

I really love all the music in the service. After 48 years they worn into my brain… even with my wobbly Hebrew the melody and the words are a comfort to me.. even If the specific metaphysics.. e.g. . A G-d ‘up there’ and me down here.. isn’t what I believe at all.  One of my favorites is the Alvinu Malchenu.. ‘Our Father our King’ (though now all reform services are supposed to be  gender neutral). My favorite version   of that one has got to be the one from  our homegrown brethren from Phish

Tonight’s service was lead by a nice young guy from Boston who’s studying to be a Rabbi. He brought some supplemental readings we used.. which included some great poems by Shel Silverstein (I once sat next to him in a plane for 3 hours !) ..   The readings also included this poem from Merrit Malloy. It really made me think of Sam

 EPITAPH

When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die
And if you need to cry
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you
And when you need me
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me
I want to leave you something
Something better
Than words
Or sounds
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved
And if you cannot give me away
At least let me live on your eyes
And not on your mind
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands
By letting
Bodies touch bodies
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free
Love doesn’t die
People do
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love
Give me away

 

Shana Tova (good new year) my family and friends

Shana Tova Sam

-me