Monday night – garbage karma

Another beautiful day.. clear and warm.. I can’t remember this many prefect weather days in a row.. it’s incredible . It’s great for all the kids that are on school break. You can tell that it’s a vacation week for most people. The halls at work are pretty empty and so is the parking lot.

I put in a very full day.. Still trying to get my momentum back. I feel like I can clearly see what I’m supposed to be doing.. but I’m really. really struggling to grab hold and engage. At the same time I’m not able to get myself too worked out about it. I’ve always freaked about my work.. am I working hard enough.. is my stuff getting done in time.. Now I have trouble getting worked up about it.. Is thta progress ? or a step back

    I got home in time for Diane’s yoga class. It as great as always.. Gabe’s having fn down in South Carolina.. Max’s in school.. so it’s just us here this week.. kinda sad.. and kinda nice at the same time. I made dinner (pasta putenesca) Then we put the trash  and recycling out together.. it was so romantic.   Actually.. the deep cleaning we’re doing is both difficult and cathartic.. As I said when the car turned 100.000 the other day.. I always view things as having souls.. I really think about the things I’m putting into the garbage bag or recycling bin..  I often think.. “I’m the last human who’s likely to look at or touch this ‘xxx’ .”. (e.g. pencil, gum wrapper, transistor, oscilloscope, chair, etc) ..I think about what purpose they served us.. was it satisfying for ‘them’ i.e. did they serve their purpose well. I always say sort of wordless  prayer to the stuff as I walk away from throwing something away. It goes something like.  ‘Thank you for serving me and my family. .. good luck in your next existence.”

Gabe just called to say he was having a good time… I really miss him..

OK.. I have to catch and early plane tomorrow. so I’ll sign off here… Gnite everyone.. Gnite Sam.
-me