Monthly Archives: November 2008

Thursday night – two years

Hey Sam…  
    It’s two years ago tonight that we got the call that you’d been in an accident. I will never forget that hour of not knowing if you were ok or not… and then…..  

You’ve been in my mind every waking hour since that moment. These days, my memory of you makes me smile much more than it makes my cry.. but today.. it’s about even.  I hope that you can feel how strongly people still hold you in their hearts … they always will.   think of how you lived with such fun, love and strength. You’ve helped me and so many others take more of that into our own lives.

I like thinking about how much fun you were having this last day. You’d spent the day on the beach with Parker and Eric skim boarding. You left me this phone message late that afternoon to tell me about it.. I could hear how much fun you were having. 

I miss you so very much … Be at peace my beautiful boy… I will love forever !

-dad

Wednesday – not today

Amazing thing.. I was actually confused yesterday.. tomorrow is actually the anniversary of Sam’s accident. I always have trouble pinning down the date. Maybe because he left us over a three day period.. the 20th was the accident, the 21st he was declared legally dead, and the 22nd was the day of his organ donations.  Actually.. it’s more likely hard to remember because it’s hard for me to think of at all. These pst few das have sharpened my memory.. and that’s hard.
    I spent a good part of the day talking to sam.. soemtimes in my head and soemtimes out loud. It felt prety good. It also felt good that several folks remebrerd and reached out to me/us . I know that all of our freinds and famiy think of Sam often.. It’s just really amazed me that folks would remember the date.. I am… we are… very. very greatful and bouyed by everyones thoguts , visits and prayers.. It makes me feel good that in our wide support network we’re getting the wishes of several gods, godesses and peaceful spirits from every corner of the world.   I feel really blessed to have the such supportive family , freinds and community. I cna honestly say that I don’t think I would have survived without that… I feel a great debt of gratitude to the world for thta support.. and It’s shaping my future.
    I ran into Jane today while I was out running with the dogs. We were talking about how loss can strengthen people.. or destroy them… most days I think I’m getting stronger.  I like to think that Sam’s proud of how we’re doing.. I like to think  he’s  proud to see that Diane and I are still living fully.. that his brothers are doing well and having fun in their lives.. I like to think  he likes what we and all his freinds are doing to keep his spirit moving through the world. .. I like to think……  I like to think..
     OK.. That’s all for tonight.. Thaksagain to all of you wh are sendign their good wishes.. we really appreciate it.

Good night my friends.. Good night Sam. my beautiul boy…
-jc

Tuesday night – whole

Nov 18, 2006.. that was the last day that I remember being ‘whole’ . Tomorrow, the 19th, is the day we got the call that Sam had been in an accident. TThe time has passed in such  surreal way since then . In many ways.. it has passed unbearably slowly..  Every day has been a small… .. i don’t know.. a small death.. every morning I wake up to the realization that Sam is gone.. . .. and I realize I’m something less than I was.. On  the other hand.. It has  passed so very quickly. The events right before and right after that moment are drawn in my
mind in such detail I guess it’s because I run them over in my mind so
frequently . My family, friends, colleagues continue to move forward in time, while my life is still tethered to Nov 19-21 2006..  It seems like some sort of wierd physics…

I feel so differnt….  But not completely bad different.. just differnt.
I miss Sam so, so much.

So now what ? Not sure what the rest os the week will bring…

Today was pretty chill.. I managed to stay ff of work and emal.. I di soem projects around the house.. I rewrote the code for the hardware interface for the viideo game we’re  writing for the  cystic fibrosis kids…   Then I worked ont he light suits that Gabe and John K will wear in circus on Friday..   Here’s Gabe showing off in the lights….

OK..   that’s all I can think about today.. more tomorrow…
Nite folks.. nite Sam
-me

Monday night – Kamen

I just got back from an amazing talk down at Norwich University. the speaker was Dean Kamen, the inventor of the Segway.. and a ton of very amazing biomedical devices. Kamen has always bee a hero of mine for the things he’s created.. but the most amazing thing he has created isn’t really a ‘thing’ I’ts the FIRST robotic competition..a worldwide multilevel robotic sporting event that nw involves more than 250 thousand kids worlwide.

The talk was in the old armory of the University.. iWhen Homer and I got there it was absolutely packed with Norwich students including the uniformed core cadets..
THere were so amny that some had to stand p on the balconey.

The president of the college… who’s also some sort of General..  opend the event.. which is the first of a series of endowend talks where the public is invited.

He poitned out that there were kids in the audience who’d participate in Kamen’s FIRST an FIRST Lego legue competitions.

Kamen made a dramatic neterance on one of his segways.. He imediately started talking.. He started with a segement where he was on the Colbert report.. it was hilarious..

His talk was abotu half abou t the inventions that Kamen’s company has developed … including a wearable insuling pump, a home dyalisis machine, a new type of heart stint, a new type of helicopter, a wheel ahcair that stands up and walks up staris, a stirlingin engine powered hybrid car,a prosthetic arm a stiriign power generator.. and a companion water cooler which togeher can bring power and fresh water to folks all over the world.  These were all very, very impresive acomplishments,..

 But as I said befrore.. Kamans biggest accomp;lishment ishsi creation of the IRST ropbitc leage.. teh robot sporting event that is cnverting more kids to scince and enineering careers.  Form it’s beginning in 1992. th e program as grown amazingly.. there are now 42 reginal events across the us.. and several overseas. The finals fill up the Georgia Dome in atlanta… Wevery year the winners get to go visit the president in the white house. Kamen also pointed out soem amazing statistics on graduates of his program.. Numbers on college entry, women and minority participation , the nmber of participants who chos engineering or related skills were all remarkable.

Kaman’s story really undercored some of the messages in the paper I’m doing for ISSCC that it’s not up to the teacher and the politicians to change this.. it has to be us as practicing engieners.   He said that the best way for us to help is to become involved in a program lie FIRST.  Man do I agree with that.

Kamen got a long standing ovation afte r the talk..we got to speak with him for awile.. that was cool. He’s a very smart and purposeful guy !

After the talk, we got to watch some of the kids play with their robots.. most impressinve !

It was very lucky timng hearing this talk. .. it really resonated with the nergy I’m putting into my outreach programs.. I’ll have to see how to work in soem of these examples into my talk ext feb

For right now.. I better find a way to make it to bed.. I’m falling asleep out here.
OK.. all for now.. Nite folks.. Nite Sam
-me

ps At on point, Kamen sited a great Einsein qute to hilight how our goverment has responeded to the educational demand of kids worlwide. He said..

The dfiference between genius and stupidity is that genious is bounded…