Sunday night – forty-niner

Amazing.. I’m writing this as a 49 year old.. by the time I post it I’ll be 50 . What a long strange trip it’s been, too !. I’m humbled to be crossing a threshold that I have imagined since I was a little kid. I clearly remember thinking about the year I’d turn 50.. what would be possible ? what would still be impossible ? How would I feel ? etc.. and now.. it will be like any other day thats ever been ..  I’m trying to decide if 50 years went by in the blink of an eye.. or dragged on. I have to say that I think the time has passed about just right. With the terrible exception of Sam’s passing. I would do it all in over again…. every decision, every good or bad break… in a heartbeat. Even with that unbearable loss, I feel blessed in my life. ThroughSam’s passing I have develoeped a deeper view of the course of our lives. Maybe that’s why this birthdate doesnt feel so much like a milestone in my mortality.. What difference does it make if you life 5 years, or 50 or a hundered. We all return to the same source..

I want to take this moment to thank all of you who have been with me somewhere along my path in the past 50 years. you’ve give to me and made me what I am.. and for that I am truly grateful.   Thank you ! Thanks you, Thank you !

OK.. enough philosophy.. here are soem pictures from our wonderfull dayt in San Fransisco.. Diane and I spent the day quietly together… it was wonderful and memorable. It began with me assembling a ‘spud gun’ in our hotel room..with the windows open to dissipate the smell of the glue.

Diane and I then went for a run dow n by the piers.. It was beutiful and wonderful running. We got to see soem great civic art..

But alas, Gabe.. no skateboarding !

We came across a marker to teh first settlement in SF.. It was dedicated to Saint Francis of Asisi He’s always been a hero of mine.. after growing up at St. Francis Church in Houston Tx.

Diane and I decided to run up Telelgraph hill.. We loved the tangle of old building up there.. We also really loved the gardens.

The view from on top of the hill was really wonderful !

Dinae and I then spent the resot of the moring in our hotel room, doing yoga, and discussing the fe remaing trouble charts in my talk.. She’s been so much help to me  !  We finally filled up our brains on my subject, so we chose to take another walk. .. We went up through the Yerba Buena center.. It was beautiful…

We found a great reflecting pool up there and decided to place a Samstone there.. no one saw…

Aroud 5 I had to head downstairs and do a full rehersal on my talk … It went pretty well, though we got a bit of a late start.

I’m still very nervous about tomorrows talk.. but after todays dry run.. I feel pretty good.  I’ll let you all know how it goes.
We ended the day with a really wonderful italian dinner with Larry and Leah . Larry started the dinner converstion with his sotry about fyling down to Tampa to see the super bowl.. He always has to make arraingements at games to make sure his wheel chair will fit.. This time the ball club almost shafted him.. they gave away all the accesible seating.. so Larry was left holding superbowl tickets.. but no superbowl  seating.. he took it up with the NFL.. In the end , he  and daughter Hannah  got 50 yardline tickets with the likes of Martha Stewert and ‘Dwight’ from the office.

Dinner was wonderful

as was catching up with Larry and Leah. I was particulalry interested to hear abotu Leah’s progress on getting some of her kids book manuscripts publshed It really sounds like’s it’s just a matter of time 

OK.. I’m statting to fall asleep now. 30 min until my birthday.. and I plan on being already asleep.   My talk is tomorrow monring.. I hope it goes well.. Euther way.. it will be doen by this time tomorrow..

Again.. hanks to all of you who’ve made this 50 years meaningful and important.. I look forward to working/living with you for another 50 ..

Good night everyone.. Good night Sam
Happy birthday to me !
me

thursday night – connection

Friends … I apologize. Gabe and I are at max’s apartment and I don’t have an internet connection in my room. It’ll have to be a post from my blackberrymm so it will be short. Gabe and I came down for the day to see the red bull snow scrapers snowboard competition. Its been a really great day. I got in a sull day of work on the phone.. The spent 6 hours with gabe watching some of the worlds best snowboarders fly down a 9 story artificial mountain. What’s more, we scored back stage passes for the event. Its a long story… One for a bigger keyboard. Ill give the whole story an pix tomorrow. We got to maxes just before 11pm and rthe three of us went out to dinner at one of my favorite resturaunts… Red bamboo.. All vegan. It was so great being with max and gabe.$. A really, really good day

Its now about 1:30 and I’m pretty sleepy. Ill pick up the story tomorrow.. All for now. Nite friends. Nite sam !

Wednesday night – i grow old. i grow old


I just got the first sign of my impending half century.. Yes.. I received my AARP card… Is that sobering or what.. ?!   Actually.. I think it’s kinda cool. These folks must watch everyone’s birthday for the first inking of 50-ish  

Makes me think of  those great  closing lines from TS Eliot’s “Lovesong of  J. Alfred Prufrock “
     ..

..

..

I grow old … I grow old …         120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
 
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
 
I do not think that they will sing to me.         125
 
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
 
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown         130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

I grow old, I grow old.. sounds kinda nice.. Love you all. Nite Sam
-me

Tuesday night – new specs

Man.. am I beat.. must be from thinking to hard…   I have a ton on my mind now.. turning 50 next week, my talk, work, my future… somehow it all feels like it will work out all right, though.

Lemme think.. outside of the stuff in my head.. what’s new around here. ? Ahh.. Bud and Martha’s house is going to start going up. They cleared the house that burned off the slab.. The components for the new house are in the field outside .. They’re actually goign to be able to get it set up and move in in just a few weeks. That’s amazing in winter !. I’m sure that they’ll be happy to get settled back in. This whole thing has gotta be tough for them.

We were thinking of some other neighbors yesterday.. so we decided to call them up. Our reinds Deb, Ian, Hannah, Matt and Britt are in Iquigue, Chile now. We video chatted with them for a long time last night. They say it’s hot and beutiful down there. They all looked great.. We really miss them all..   Conicidentally, I had lunch with my friend Anton from Chile today..  Quite a Chile day outside.. .. hahaha

I got such a nice suprise yesterday. My good buddy Vicki came up to my office to give me my first birthday present.. and it fits perfectly. She gave me this cup with a message that is just made for me right now…. he’s such a wonderful freind. She’s doign the annual penguin plunge next sat. in benmefit of Special Olympics. I’m gooign to miss the plunge this year because of travel.. but If you’d liek to sponsor Vicki you can go to this link !..

I really do love that message.. My teabag had this on it eyesterday, too “feel great, act great and approve of yourself”  I seem to be getting counsoulign from all sides..  Maybe this buper sticker is tellign me soemthign too

In the interest of gettign more clarity, I went today to pick up my first pir of real.. non-store baught glasses ever.. And guess what..
I can see !.. It’s so wierd.. I never thought I had a problem seeing stuff far away until I put these on.. It’s actually kinda wierd to be able to see this well.. The world is so…. I don’t know.. sharp  

I picked these because they made me look a bit deranged.. what do you think ?

Speaking of deranged… how’s this ?   Kristin’s artwork…

OK.. that’s it for tonight.. lots goign on tomorrow at work. gotta sleep. Night folks.. Nite Sam
-me