Monthly Archives: January 2010

Saturday night – winter ball

JUst climbed in bed after a long cold, day.. I noticed it was 2 below zero (F) when we came in.. That didn’ tused to count as cold around here… but it’s cold enough for me..

We had a great quick down to Western Mass for a snowboard event of Gabes/ We had to be on the road by 6..    It was a cute little place.. kinda like Bolton.. It was stil in the single digits most of the day.. but bluebird skies kept us form freezing completely..

We were down with Gabe’s freinds and teammates.. Here’s Dylan

and Gabe..

He’re their friend Matt mid-rodeo

and dylan half way through something.. a flip of somekind

and gabe doign a nice backside .

We had a picnic outside since inside was crowded and noisy.. the single digits weather made th food taste tat much better !

We got back on the road home around 4 .. .. got home around 7, dropped, Gabe, Dylan and Matt.. Then Diane and I went over to Jen and Jim’s for the parent’s Winter Ball party.. All the kids were at the High School Winter Ball.. so the parents were getting together to do some partying of our own .. ‘our’.. I say.. They included us.. which is so wonderful. This would have been Sam’s Senior ball.. who would he have gone with ? what would he have worn ? .. There are so many of these milestones.. driver’s licenses, proms, finals,.. everything.. so bittersweet.. yet folks keep bringing us in.. it’s sweet and sad.. and we wouldn’t have it any other way. I like to think Sam’s partying somewhere tonight .. too..

Jen, Jen and Peggy arrive shortly after we did wiht pictures of the young couples.. They all looked so great and happy

It was a great evening.. we talked about all the kids.. including Sam..   , drank, ate.. and drank some more..   a proper party… 
One special treat tonight was Jen’s sand table..

she built it after seeing this video from ‘ukraines got talent’  on youtube

Here’s Fritz giving Jen’s table a try…

Diiane ‘drew’ a birthday cake for Jen..  because it was her birthday !

then out came a real cake from Jen L. for Jen K’s birthday ! 

Great day, great eveing
I can’t keep my eyes open one more second..

so.. nite folks.. nite sam, party on
-me

Fridaynight – the matress

Diane and I have just come in from shopping.. . It’s FREEZING outside.. below zero and a stiff wind.. we both remarked how warm and cozy the house felt… I just saw that it’s 59 iinside.. you know it’s cold out when 59 feels warm and cozy

Diane and I had a ‘date night ‘tonight since Gabe’s out on a snowboarding trip. We spent our evening shopping for q mattress.. we do that every 20 years or so whether we need to or not.. Seriously , I think I’ve only bought one other in my life.. It was almost fun shopping for a mattress.. we got to lie on a dozen beds and pretend to be  sleeping.. It’s dangerous work because It only takes me about 20 seconds to fall asleep anywhere … any time. 

Here I am trying the … what was it called ? ‘cloud’ ? creampuff ?   .. estate wrecker ? .. I’m serious some of these beds cost more than a college education .. I’d rather buy a new car and sleep in that.

Buying a mattress is a funny thing.. you spend half of your life on it.. but very little of it is conscious.. THere are lots of memories associated with matresses.. ,, getting rid of the old one will be weird.. .. all 3 boys slept in that bed with us..

anyway.. we layed  ? lied ?   (one sounds indecent, one improper).. on about 12 of these things.. and I couldn’t really tell one form another. What do folks out there know about mattresses ? Anyone have one they love ? anyone have one they hate >> ./ Please let me hear your recommendations.

Talking about matresses makes me feel tired, cold and sleepy..
I think I’ll say good night friends.   Good night  all
Nite Sam
-me

When you are old  – W.B Yeats

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or

1 true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Thursday night – in cold water

Hmmmmm
    Absolutely nothing happened today. Not sure I can remember the last time that happeend.. but as always on slow days, I’m grateful for the break..  The only thing of note is that I saw a near final draft of the latest Smarter Planet video that my friend Tim
made with me.. I won’t give it all away.. but it ends with me in lake champlain in the middle of winter..   It’s got soem great animations.. hope you’ll like it.. I’ll post it as soon as I have permission.

   Seeing myself jump in the lake in Winter got me excited about the upcoming Penguin Plunge.. Again.. the plunge is a fund raiser in honor of the Vermont Special Olympics.
It’s really a wilde event.. lots of half naked people crammed in a  tent trying to stay warm in single digit wether.   SOemone calls your team name and you run full speed into the relative warmth of the lake.. The year before last I think it was actually abotu 15 degrees out, whicle the lake was a balmy 34 degrees..
  
   There’s nothing like the shok of hitting the cold water.   It collapses time.. you are in one single moement of cold. I love it .. it’s oenof the most alive moments you ever feel..   As nice as it is, it’s not a good idea to sit around and savor the feeling. i think tyou have only about 5 minutes before oyu loose consiousness at those temperatures.
You run back out of the lake and soemone hands you a flimsy towel.. I remember being so numb that I couldn’t feel the towel on my skin.. you then run back into the tent and look for your clothees.. I don’t recal finding all of mine.. I do remembre my teeth chattering for abotu a half an hour..

It was bliss

This year I’m plnging with my freinds from mexicali again.. They’ve done a great job at fundraising for the Plunge. They’re donanting 10% of their totla take for this coming Wednesday to the special olypmpics.. so come in and eat/drink this coming Wed..

If you want to help us raise money, please consider making a pledge on my fundraing page  here

Here we are year before last moments before goign in..

I cna hardly wait !

Nite folks, nite Sam
-me

Wednesday night – better than…

So.. I was on a run this morning with the dogs.. and realized that I was feeling troubled. Several of my ‘great’ ideas at work are proving to be more complicated than I originally thought.. As I ran I was tossing over the various technical barriers I was hitting.. then a funny thing happened.. Even as I realized I was gritting my teeth over my work troubles, I started to smile.. I realized that I was unhappy in a much happier way than I’d been in a long, long time..  

It’s only in hindsight can I see the dark  tunnel I’ve felt every minute since Sam’s passing..   and only in hindsight can I see the tremendous healing that all of us have done since.   I’m aware enough now to know that I’ll probably look back on where I am now a couple of years forward and feel that much more .. though never truly.. whole

I had my phone on my run this morning because I had to pretend to listen to a work call.. that meant I had a camera.. I caught this picture of one of the trails by the river I always run. I remember helping to cut this section of the trail out of the wood about 5 years ago.. .. it’s grown too.

I love htis trail.. every step I’ve run or walked alng it in the past 3 5 years has helped me heal. Here’s the place I stop every day to admire Robins moutnain, the mountain behind our house..

And beneath that view, here’s the spot I write Sam’s name every day I run. I write it in whatever’s there as canvas.. snow, or dirt or mud or leaves..

It’s always gone by  the next day.. time to rewrite it..

A friend send me  a blog entry  about  grieving today.. I liked what it said.. Check it outif you’re interested..

Eek.. it’s after midnight.. gotta go to bed…

night folks.. nite Sam
-me