So.. I was on a run this morning with the dogs.. and realized that I was feeling troubled. Several of my ‘great’ ideas at work are proving to be more complicated than I originally thought.. As I ran I was tossing over the various technical barriers I was hitting.. then a funny thing happened.. Even as I realized I was gritting my teeth over my work troubles, I started to smile.. I realized that I was unhappy in a much happier way than I’d been in a long, long time..  

It’s only in hindsight can I see the dark  tunnel I’ve felt every minute since Sam’s passing..   and only in hindsight can I see the tremendous healing that all of us have done since.   I’m aware enough now to know that I’ll probably look back on where I am now a couple of years forward and feel that much more .. though never truly.. whole

I had my phone on my run this morning because I had to pretend to listen to a work call.. that meant I had a camera.. I caught this picture of one of the trails by the river I always run. I remember helping to cut this section of the trail out of the wood about 5 years ago.. .. it’s grown too.

I love htis trail.. every step I’ve run or walked alng it in the past 3 5 years has helped me heal. Here’s the place I stop every day to admire Robins moutnain, the mountain behind our house..

And beneath that view, here’s the spot I write Sam’s name every day I run. I write it in whatever’s there as canvas.. snow, or dirt or mud or leaves..

It’s always gone by  the next day.. time to rewrite it..

A friend send me  a blog entry  about  grieving today.. I liked what it said.. Check it outif you’re interested..