I woke today at peace and refreshed. Yesterday’s 4 year observation of Sam’s passing felt good.. lots of friends, lots of laughing.. some tears.. we were surrounded by love
Before I went to sleep I noticed there was an incredible ring around the full moon.. how cool is that ?!?!
Sam’s jahrzeit candle was still burning for a few hours this morning..It’s a candle you light on the day of a loved ones death.. it burns for at least 24 hours.. I watched it until it finally went out.. I always remember my mom lighting one for her dad.. I never thought I’d be lighting on for one of my sons..
Today marks the fourth anniversary of Sam’s organ donation. When we learned he was not going to survive.. it was a natural choice to do organ donation. we didn’t have to think even for a second. Sam’s donation allowed four people to stay alive.. including our new friend Bob..
We learned that the most important thing in organ donation is that your loved ones know your wishes. Some donations don’t occur because surviving loved ones don’t know what the potential donor would have wished.. You can honor Sam’s memory right now by signing the donor card on your drivers license.. and by having a short conversation with your loved one about your wishes.
Sam.. you left us four years ago today. We remember the brightness of your smile and the strength of your hugs and it lets us go on.
Today we are surrounded by the love each other, our families and our community. We felt you near all day.. I hope you know the depth of love folks still have for you and for us..
We’ve had a candle burnign all day for you.. In my culture we call it a jahrzeit candle.. Jahrzeit means ‘year time’ ..
To say we remember your passing today hardly captures it… we remember your life and your passing every moment of every day. Today marks the journety for us around our sun.. .. or.. I guess.. around our son. .. This is the day that others most strongly remember our loss.. and that brings it’s own special pain and joy..
‘It’s the day we mark your passing .. though the exact day we recognize
hardly matters. Yesterday your soul left your body.. today we made the
legal pronouncement.. tomorrow.. you donated your organs and saved four
folks lives..
As is now our custom, we planned a day of observation with friends. We got some new Sam stickers to give out for this years boards and skis..
Around noon we met about 35 friends for a hike up Bolton mountain. Bolton has been special to all 3 kids.. We’ve climbed Bolton every year since Sam’s passing.. it’s a steep but short climb.. The weather was mild (in th 20’s).. and very little snow..
We got to the top and grouped up in the warming hut.
we had quite a crowd !
Gabe and I took the short kike up to the fire tower. Gabe, Max and I have climbe d the tower each of the past four years. Max couldn’t come up until Wed.. so this year it was just Gabe and me.
We crawled up the rickety ladder to the platform.
It was freezing.. but the wind was calm, .. it was clear too.. which is unusual.. beautiful views !
I screwed a pierced samstone to the railing..
Then gabe lit the smoke bombs we’d brought.. usually we bring fireworks.. but we didn’t want anything with a boom this year.
We came down and the ext group came up to pay homage to Sam..
We came back to the house.. then lounged around for a couple of hours until people started showing up.. Mason had just gotten some new ink he wanted to show us.
Pretty soon, the house was packed.. I think we peaked around 80 folks.. it was more like 60 most of the night..
The phone was ringing all day and night with folks calling to say they were thinking of us and of sam..
We even had a skype call with Kevin.. we put it on the speaker system so everyone could talk to him .
The other big news for the evening was the return of our dear friends the Townsends. They’ve been gone for nearly 2 years traveling the earth.. They flew in around 3:30 into Montreal.. than came straight here. So much of our early time after sam’s death was with them. It was wonderful and meaningful having them back tonight. it was/is So, so good to see all of them , !
Ian grew more than a foot !
mid party I noticed how many folks were in sams shirts.. it was wonderful to see..
The dogs mingled all night.. most of it they spent lying under the tale looking for handouts.
A couple of hours in we handed out red bull and held a toast to sam..
I include this picture because of the ‘ghost ball’ in it.. never sure what these are.. but they appear in my photos of these parties all the time.. very interesting.. what are they ?
After the dinner dishes were cleared, we all sat down and made samstones..
Some were a little more creative..
THe party was still going strong around 11.. ..
It has been an emotion filled fay.. lots of laughs and lots of tears..
We all want to thank eveyrone for sending us hteir thoguhts and prayers.. you are helping us move on in the world.. and we really appreciate it..
Four years ago tonight we got that terrible call. Sam had been hit by a car.. and would never recover..
Every parents worst fear…. and it had happened.. it had happened to our beautiful son.. In the infinite number of things that do and don’t happen.. why sam.. why our wonderful , beautiful sam..
We’ll never know that… … I know.
Today has been a good day.. I spent most of it by myself, thinking of sam.. what a great kid, his smile, his sense of humor, his music… his physical grace.. I can see his face as brightly now as I could when I could hold him. I cna here his voice.. I cannot hug him though.. and that longing is with me every minute of every day.
Today is only different because the rest of the world takes a few moments to check in with us and remind us that they, too still carry Sam in ther hearts.. and that means the world to us.. Thanks to all of you who are thinking of sam.. and of our family over these next few days..
Tomorrow we’ll be doing our traditional hike up Bolton mountain in Sam’s memory. Anyone is welcome to join us.. we’ll be taking off from the base lodge at noon.. then meeting back at the house for pot-luck dinner and samstones at 6. Please join us if you feel you’d like to be with us.
Even if you can’t come.. I invite you to spend a few minutes and think of sam.. remember the cool kid he is/was.. and invite some of his laughing, warm and crazy spirit into your own lives.. Hug your kids.. and think of us. Thanks in part to all of you.. we’re doing well .. and living our lives fully.
I want to share one think with everyone.. I posted this last year as well. This is the last phone message I got from Sam.. He left me this message late this same afternoon in 2006
I love hearing his voice..
Busy day today.. which was good.. kept my mind occupied. My job today was to drive an hour and a half north to visit my work brothers and sisters in Bromont Quebec. There’s a large IBM facility up there.. about 2800 fo0olks when fully loaded.. I’m embarrassed to say.. this is my first trip up there in almost 30 years of working here.
It was a nice drive up.. I t’s just like driving up to Montreal, but you turn east at Pikes river..
My job today was to give a sort talk to the plants management about something I’m working on.. that was fun… they were a GREAT audience.. into the message and really interested in helping us out. I was SO impressed with everyone I met up there.. They ar ea fun and creative bunch of people/.
THey were also excellent hosts.. they gave me a great tour of the place where most of our chips are diced, packaged and tested.. I’d really never seen the packaging process this close. It was fascinating.. ..
The place was full of machines from Universal out of Endicott NY.. I have several friends that worked there.. (Hi David !) I never saw what they built until today !
(Note to self: Must remember to send Gille RFID stuff !)
I really got the royal treatment up there .. I finally headed home around 3 with a promise to return in Janurary.. . Next time I’m bringing some friends !
I got home around 6.. in time to leave again to go to the gymnastics place.. Once again .. it was fun watching gabe and friends flip and do handstands..I didn’t do any flips today.. to sleepy..
Here’s gabe doing a superman flip (*10) over me as I lay in the foam pit
That was my day.. good and busy..
I did get pretty sad on my ride home…
more tomorrow..
nite all , nite sam// you are so much on my mind, my son
