I was tellign a friend at dinner that one of the strange things about writign every night is that it has given me a constant urge to do something a little different each day.. Doesn’t have to be a big thing.. but .. like yesterday. I ordered an avocodo smoothie when Gabe and I stopped for a snack..

I could have had the mango or the coconut.. but what adventure is there in that ? I went for the avocado.. .. and it tasted like… like .. I don’t know.. It was like drinking slightly sweet guacamole… or Like drinking particularity tasty green pastel paint.. or like green elmers glue.. but without the funky aftertaste..

it was pretty good.. not great. but interesting.. .. 
Just like my day….

Nite all. nite Sam
-me

TOday was another m’mostly Lacrosse day.. Gabe was trying out for the Norther VT Select Lacross team (he made it !). That means he’ll play in some regional and national tournaments . I’m so proud of him for going out for something like this! He’s such a great kid !

The day involved a bunch of drills, some scrimmages, some waiting around.. all in near 90 degree heat.. all the boys htere were working so hard.. !

I love watching gabe play.. .. i also love the sideline conversations.. I’ve met the nicest group of folks through gabes involvement.. today I spokewith elizabeth about life, kids, and geography, to jerome about XML, france, microcontrollers, weird food (he tried my avocado shake) , to Reese about  windmills, rickshaws, hearing aids, cochlea, surface acustic wave devices, welsh. gaelic, MIT, barefoot running and the colcehster and shelbourne trail systems. to chris about kid names, sports, patriotic history and  about Sam.   (I spoke about my kids to everyone today )

I love getting to know this new group of people..

The only other accomplishemnt was a trip to Paquettes to get some flowwers for Diane.. we ‘d put that off on otehrs day because it was snowing !!!

OK.. better get to bed.. early morning tomorrow.   I had intended to take this week easy leading up to Sam’s birthday this Friday.. unfortunately.. my cal is pretty full. I’ll do my best to take care of myself anyway..

More tomorrow..
nite all, nite Sam
-me

Clean Slate… a great phrase.. a fresh start

in our life ? Well maybe, but I mean that that’s what I did this

afternoon.. .. clean slate.. as we helped our friend Chris  prepare

pieces of slate  shingles for sandblasting.. 

 Chris

makes these things into beutiful ornaments  He’s getting them ready for

the Vermont Artisanans Open Studio day and needed a few eextra hands.. 

My job was to use an air hose to blow off any chips of slate before their masked for sandblasting.

It

was so cool watching the thin sheets of slate come flying off under the

force of the air hose. Each of those sheets represented a layer of mud

sediment layed down on he bottom of soem body of water eans ago.. how

cool is that ? 

It was mindless. noisy and satisfying work. It was really gratifying to get to the bottom of the slate container. 

Here they are , ready to mask..

Meanwhile

Gabe worked on applying the rubber masks that pattern the sandblasting.

Gabe is really good at this sorty of fine work..

Chris

showed us the jar of used exacto blades he’s gone through over the

years.. He says that every one he’s every used is in either this jar or

an even larger oe he has in his shop !

While

Gabe and I worked with Chris on the rocks, Diane helped Kim weed one of

their many gardens.. It felt good to be useful !..

It’s always

cool visiting chris and kim.. they have soe much interesting stuff..

here’s Chris’s artistically done firewood stacks

Ans

his current in construnction sculpture project, mineral springs II.  

It’s a beutoiful copper and brassfoot treadle poered shower. It’s

really amazing 

The shower head is an old army helmet !

We each took a turn on Chris’s zip line to finish our day..

I noticed a Sam button in Chris’s work area.. been thinkign of him all day..

OK.. only 9 PM .. but I’m fading fast. Must get some sleep.. More tomorrow.
nite all, night Sam
-me

I’ve been feeling really sad on and off  for the last couple of days without acknowledging why.. Today on my run I had to admit to myself that it is Sam’s upcoming birthday. Sam would have been turing 18 a week from today.. and I miss him.. I really, really miss him.. with every bone in my body. The thing is, I miss him every hour of every day.

I often tell people that’ special’  days like fathers day and mothers day are not any worse than any other day . The things that make those days differnt is that everyone else puts extra weight on those days.. I am held hostage by my own expectations on myself.

This birthday seems different. Maybe it’s because of high school graduation.. or because all of sam’s friends will be going off to college.. Or maybe I’m just tired of the weight of being sad under the surface all the time..

I found myself crying on and off through the day today.. on my run., in the car, in my office.. That’s something I haven’t done in some time.. and it actually felt good.

Diane and I had a good talk this afternoon.. She always has such a good perspective..    She reminds me.. it’s ok to be sad.. ok to be tender. right now . ok,….

I’m going to try to take it easy this week
ntite all, nite sam
-me