Monthly Archives: September 2011

Sunday evening – painting naked

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Catchy title.. no ? .. Well.. that’s actually what I’ve been doing most of the afternoon. As you may know, Diane and I are repainting the interior of the bell tower.. the tiny room on the top of the house that I sometimes use as an office. It’s a small room, but a real bear to paint. Lots of corners.. years of chipping paint..(the room has been at one time green  grey, white, blue, and yellow.). and some tough places to reach. The peak is about 18 feet up..at the peak and about 11 feet at it’s lowest.. lots of weird reaches.. over holes in the floor.. One with a 45 drop.

Given the amoun tof cut-in and the uneven surface, i opted to use a sprayer for the first coat of primer.. That can be messy.. so I traded my weekend clothes for a pair of Brother Billy’s old srubcs and an inside out sweatshirt.. The trouble came when I was up on the platform 10 feet off the floor.. with a sprayer in one hand.. .. Now.. I’m not all that skinny.. but.. let’s just say I’m posteriiorly challenged.. . Those scrubs just would not stay up.. I tied them as tightly as I could.. but every time i did.. they would slide down and finally fall to the floor.. Pulling them up meant turning off the sprayer.. putting it down.. cleaning the paint of my hands and pulling up my pants.. after about the 5th time I said ‘forget it’ … or something to that effect 🙂   I thought about it for a sec.. no one would see me forom the road..unless they happened to look up into the tower.. a good 55 feet above street level. there was also little chance of getting surprised by someone from inside the house. You can usually hear folks tromping up the stairs .. So.. I did the rest of the job half naked.. … .. It was quite comfortable really.. ,..

I got the ceiling done.. so I climbed down from the platform and started on the walls.. well.. wouldn’t you know.. the windows are at chest level.. no fear of offending folks on the street … if there were any (see Jonesville Vermont.. population 600)   so I did that part au naturel as well..

I have to say that the change of costum made the job esier and quite a bit cooler..Isn’t it nice when things work out like that ?

nite all, nite sam

-me

Saturday night – Über-Ich

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I was speaking with my friend Ron in Switzerland the other day and he mentioned the term Über-Ich..My German is a bit wobbly.. but good enough to understand that literally it meant ‘over i’ or ‘super I’.. i looked it up and realized (d-oh) .. it was Freud’s term for what he called in English the ‘super ego’ .. I found a definition online that

“… the superego is the component of personality composed of our internalized ideals that we have acquired from our parents and from society. The superego works to suppress the urges of the id and tries to make the ego behave morally, rather than realistically.”

Actually.. the better word for it I know from my meditation training is the ‘monkey mind”.. the little voice in your head that is constantly reanalyzing the past and worrying about the uter. The voice that masquerades as ‘you’ to convince you to to behave.. or in most folks case.. to convince you that .. no you should not have had that last piece of cake.. or that yes.. you are going to fail that calculus test tomorrow.. or perhaps that those jeans do make you look fat..     It’s that running dialog in our noggins that keeps us all runing around in a worried or regretful state much of the time..

I used ot have it pretty bad . whenever  the outside of me was quiet, the inside of me would go to work. .. the voice would start..runnign over the days events pointing out  what I might have done wrong.. .. or fretting about the nexts days work ..  it would (or soemtimes still does)  start cataloging  my character flaws .. or physical shortcomings.. or failrues in life… Soemtimes it would chase itself around in a circle  on the same theme.. or other days i’d have to admit . the voice could be pretty creative… it could come up with amazing new things to worry about (i still walk around worrying about fishhooks.. or about eating ball bearings) ..

anyway.. it’s better now.. .. daily meditation and running for exercise have both helped but ofetn at work it creeps back in.. or when I’m doing some mindless task. like mowing the grass or painting..   I’m practicing  listening for it.. and consciously turning it  down or off  when it comes…

that’s what I was doing when I decided to sit down and write.

Do you have a voice like that ?

nite all, nite sam

-me


Friday night – spinning into control

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She’s back.. she’s back.. she’s back.. Diane just got home after being gone since… gee.. seems like years.. but I think it was last Sunday. She’s been down in Endicott helping her folks recover from the floods they got right after ours. For a week she’s been down there working with her folks, neighbors, friends, strangers, max, her brothers and lots of will power and stamina to rip out everything the flood got. They had to get rid of boilers., washer dryers, freezers.. all the things anyone has in the vaults of their basements.. The funny thing is.. the only thing I worried about was a poster all the grandkids had made.. ‘Millineum theater 2000’ signed by vincent, victer, max, gab e and sam.. I remember they did a play back in 2000.. I though t about that night.. and somehow I thought of that poster… And wouldn’t you know.. Diane rescued it and brought it home.. put a name on it .. and it becomes a holy relic..

While diane and max were down there helping put her parents lives back in order.. Gabe and I were up here maintaining the status quo.. but ever day Diane is gone.. I spin a little more out of control. I sleep a little less.. eat a little less.. . exercise a little less. …think a little less.

I spin … i spin.. i spinnnnn more and more out of control.. not all negative.. I work late in my lab on projects that don’t matter.. I eat weird stuff (tortillas and butter at 2AM … 6 chocolate chips for breakfast.. hot sauce on stale bread for lunch .. capers.. lots of capers.. just love those capers.. )

and now she’s back.. I don’t need diane to go away for me to realize how lucky i am.. or how much she does for me.. for us.. but.. when she does (go away and come back) .. I’m even more grateful for her and her love .. and I didn’t even think that was possible…

nite all, nite sam
-me

Thursday night – light of this world

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Gotta make an excuse tonight..my laptop wireless doesn’t seem to be working so i can’t upload my pictures of tonight.. besides it’s almost 1:30 and I just got home.. Two concerts in a row make John a sleepy boy.. plus I have a little hedonism guilt.. Diane and Max have been down in Endicott all week helping Diane’s folks recover from the flooding at their house.. and i’m going to see music… hmmmmm

Still.. i really did enjoy the evening.. first was the MMU High School Open house.. surprisingly yummy lasagna in the caf.. then meetings with all gabes teachers. It was so much fun sitting in those desks and seeing the school through our kids perspective. I really like Gabe’s teachers… and it looks like he has soem interesting stuff coming this year..

as soon as I was done there.. I dashed to Higher ground.. I got thee just in time for the 2nd set of Jorma Kakaunen.. One of my favorite musicions of all time. He was the lead guitar in the bands jefferson airplane and hot tuna.. and has toured on his own or in pieces of those bands for more than 40 years. He just passed his 70th birthday and is still playing strong.. (and has a 5 year old kid to prove it 🙂

Tonight Jorma played an acoustic set with just his friendly mandolin player Barry .. who’s birthday was today.. It was great old stuff.. very mellow and reflective… He played a great version of Rev Gary Davis’ “Light of this World” in honor of bluegrass great Wade Mainer who died today at age 104.

(ps.. this vid isn’t from tonight.. but i found it online.. it’s recent and similar to tonight’s rendition)

I know this is supposed to be a religious song.. but I think it can be read as an inspirational message to everyone.. to be that light..

Jorma finished up his quiet set and the 100 or so of us grey beards shuffled out of the smaller room at higher ground.. Friend George and I thn ducked into the bigger room where Umfry McGee was just getting into their second set.. it was amazing.. I didn’t know what to expect.. but I reallllly dug it.. loud strong jam band stuff with great lights.. The energy was twice the other room and the average age was half.. a nice counterpoint

ok.. enough counterpoint.. my light of the world needs to turn off for the night hope yours is burning bright !

nite all, note sam
-me

ps. finally got internet back.. here are the pics from that very full day

 

At the school

At the jorma show

At the Umfry’s show