Monthly Archives: October 2011

Monday night – Insomnia

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I haven’t been sleeping very well thee past 2 weeks or so.. My work is creeping into my dreams.  Not in the good way, I might add. I love it when a technical problem works its way into my sleep.. I’ve actually done some pretty creative problem solving in my sleep (eg. the solar tracker on The Colony).. This is the hard kind of dream..   the kind when you just loop over the same ideas.. or same concern.. and nothing is worked out. a part of you knows it isn’t a real problem.. but.. you can’t seem to get off of it . A meeting I was supposed to call.. a report unfinished.. a todo left undone. I find myself staring at the ceiling now at 2 am, 3am.. 4am.. wondering why I’m awake. usually I fall back asleep.. but wake up in that same  state of something left half finished..

Actually.. I know I can get blogger for demerits for doing this..(including two poems from the same guy in the same week).. but there’s a great Billy Collins poem for this problem.. Actually.. there’s a great Billy Collins poem for every problem

Insomnia
Billy Collins

Even though the house is deeply silent
and the room, with no moon,
is perfectly dark,
even though the body is a sack of exhaustion
inert on the bed,

someone inside me will not
get off his tricycle,
will not stop tracing the same tight circle
on the same green threadbare carpet.

It makes no difference whether I lie staring at the ceiling
or pace the living-room floor,
he keeps on making his furious rounds,
little pedaler in his frenzy,
my own worst enemy, my oldest friend.

What is there to do but close my eyes
and watch him circling the night,
schoolboy in an ill-fitting jacket,
leaning forward, his cap on backwards,
wringing the handlebars,
maintaining a certain speed?

Does anything exist at this hour
in this nest of dark rooms
but the spectacle of him
and the hope that before dawn
I can lift out some curious detail
that will carry me off to sleep –
the watch that encircles his pale wrist,
the expandable band,
the tiny hands that keep pointing this way and that.

hope I sleep tonight

nite folks, note sam

-me

Sunday night – memories

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Dang.. just realized that my camera with the days pics is hidden somewhere up in our room.. and diane is asleep. I’ve just finished a couple of hours of home work.. and before that about 4 hours of painting.   We’re still in the process of painting the bell tower (aka my office). It was wonderfully mindless work.. i you call balancing on a small platform  of wood 12 feet in the air mindless.  But it was just what I needed to process the rest of last week and this weekend.   My folks were up here which was fun..  It was a very good visit.. we ate and drank and did quite a bit of nothing.. which is a treat   We do a lot of reminiscing  these days.. Old memories, new memories.. some that have gotten away. It’s very interesting hanging out with the only folks that have known  you longer than you’ve known yourself.   I always learn a little more about them and about myself every time I’m with them these days. .we spend much of our time repeating our stories to each other.. many family favorites, some from when I was little.. some from when they were little.. some which never happened..

Your parents define you in many way.. what you are and what you’re not.. what you will become.. all in all it’s comforting..

 

I love you ma and pa

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

Saturday night – Feast !

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We had a real feast tonight. My folks are up visiting and Deborah.. who’s back with us for a few days.. decided to try out some new recipes on us. Deb is thinking about doing some catering so we’ve been the beneficiaries of her practice.. and there’s no better job. She’s a truly gifted cook. I always remember the evenings around her table when she lived up on the mountain.. Tonight’s meal included  apples and cheeses, Thai seafood soup, and Indian vegetable soup (actually.. that was lunch) .. popovers with chicken or spiced cheese filling, artichoke patties, crab cakes, fresh romuillade sauce, spinach, air and Gorgonzola salad (Jen L brought that), peppered pickled cucumber salad, several  wines and apple crisp for desert..

 

Everythign was wonderful.. especially the company..

I can harldy move.time to go sleep it off.

Nite all, nite sam..

-me