It’s late thursday night.. it’s warm and windy out and I’m winding down for the week. Tomorrow is a work day.. but I’m hoping to take most of it off. Monday we will mark Sam’s 20th birthday. 20 is a big milestone for anyone.. for Sam.. and for us..this seems like it has special significance.. .Though I’m trying to figure out just how I feel about it.. As Diane would say.. i don’t need to think or figure out.. I just need to ‘be’ .. the day will come and pass just like all the other birthdays since Sam’s passing.. .. just like all the other days. Birthdays do reinforce the passing of time.. Birthdays bring lots of folks who check in on us on how were doing.. which is nice. I have to say that we’re all doing pretty well… not just ‘pretty well considering’.. but actually pretty well. we’re living overly busy and mostly very happy lives. Never as happy as when Sam was here with us.. but full lives nonetheless. There was a time where I felt a little bit that being happy somehow was not respectful of Sam’s memory. over the years.. that has completely reversed. I know that Sam would want us to be happy.. and I want to honor that.
These next few days will be tough.. but we’ll see many good friends.. we’ll share good memories of Sam.. we’ll toast him, we’ll make samstones.. we’ll make big fires.. When the weekend is past it will eb time to gear back uo. but for right now.. I just need to slow down…

all for now..

nite all, nite sam
-me