Monthly Archives: November 2012

Friday night – breaking bath

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We’re up at deba on Bolton mountain. Diane and jen are helping deb get ready for the Richmond Xmas fair tomorrow.


They has some amazing deliciousness going on here . Check deb out at the fair tomorrow.

Not much else to report today. I had a long day of work. Very glad it’s a weekend. I celebrated the end of the week by taking a nice hot bath this evening while watching a little more of Breaking Bad. Life’s simple pleasures… Bubble bath and meth ( just on tv… Don’t worry)

Wow. It was 6 degrees last night going o be colder tonight . I guess it’s already winter.

More tomorrow .

Nite all, nite Sam
-me

Location:Black Bear Hollow,Bolton,United States

Thursday night – pleasantly deranged

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I had an interesting call tonight from a woman from our town newspaper who was writing a feature on what people were reading. My first response was that i couldn’t remember what id read recently.. then i remembered that kindle keeps track of what you read whether you read it on your phone, ipad or reader.. I was surprised to learn that id read more than 20 books this year .. And a weird bunch at that. .as i listed the titles i realized two things.. 1) that once i find an author i like i read everything he/ she has written until i either run out of books or get sick of their style (or both) .. Ive done this this year with hiraku mirukami , billy collins, chuck m, dave eggers aand a couple of others.. And 2) i like books where theres a layer of calm and normal told from the perspective of a protagonist who is a little bit nuts,, ever read murakami ? I think i appreciate getting inside someone else’s head thats wired a bit different from the worlds and seeing it from their slightly addled albeit fictional perspective… Thats what I’m aiming for in life, i guess… Slightly deranged an nearly fictional…. I feel like I’m almost there

nite all, nite sam
-me

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday night – smells like clarity

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I’ve been thinking……..

I’ve been thinking, but evidently not enough. I”m trying to get my head around some new ideas….   Basically what I need to figure out  what I want to be when I grow up. This past year has been fascinating . I’ve essentially changed careers..  and am forcing myself to learn new industries, new technologies and new people.  As fun as its been,I still have much work to do to crisp up my thinking on what I’m learning.  How to adjust my efforts for maximum impact.  I’m looking for clarity..

Today I was lucky enough to have my monthly Reiki/Massage at friend M’s.. at the end she rubbed  some smelly stuff on my head ..I asked her what it was.. and she told me it was called ‘Clarity’…

So .. while i’m still working on clarity inside.. at least i smell like clarity

nite all, nite sam

-me

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I realized today that I just missed another anniversary. Sunday marked the 6th anniversary of my writing in this blog .3 days after Sam died, I wrote this.    … and every night since  i’ve sat down and tried to chronicle my and my families lives.  With the exception of the 2 months I was offline for the TV show, I’ve written every night.. first on Myspace.. then eventually on wordpress. I was able to screen scrape all (I hope) of my first several years of blogging from myspace just the day before they took away the blogging history functions.   thats more than 2000 posts..

Initially writing here was a way of  answering the ‘how are you doing’ question  to the many caring folks who were grieving with us and concerned about us after sam’s death..   Soon it became a way for me to work through some of my own sadness… for a long time, my daily writing was the time when I integrated all that was happening to us.. the pain. the love that flowed into our lives, the ‘newness’ of life without sam. the cosmic coincidences that kept appearing in our lives with sam connections…

As the months  passed writing  became a solace to me as other’s returned to normal.. and I could not.. As the milestones passed.. birthdays, deathdays, holidays passed, this blog became a yardstick by which I measured my healing..  it’s still so useful for me now as I read those early posts I se what a long path we’ve all been on.. I also see how deceptive progress can be.. I look back at times I figured I was ‘ok’.. only to see from a distance that I was dtill  anything but.

as the years past, it became hard some nights to know what to write.. some days  my posts are merely a recount of the days events.. who I saw, what I ate, etc.. sometimes its about my travels, or hobbies. Though I make a point never to talk directly about my work , sometimes the people around my work do get mentioned here. There have been times when I feel like its time to stop writing.. ..  I’ve said all I need to say.. .. ever or at least i could stop writing every night…. but something has kept me at it.. why stop now.. ?

it’s so cool to have this sort of record of ones life.. even if no-one else cares.. I do.

For now I’ll keep at it..  .If you’ve been reading this.. thanks  for being patient with me.. I know I dont write well .. I cant spell and I have a hard time organizing my thoughts into linear sentences.. but thats who I am.

and for now I still feel the urge to write..

as always..

nite all, nite sam

-me