That time of year. It was almost 5 before i got out for a run it was nearly dark.. By the time i got home i could barely see the dogs on the trail behind me. I have to admit the early dark also darkens my mood.. This month is always hard that way… Next week we will mark the 6th anniversary of Sam’s passing. I try not to think of it…. Meaning the anniversary… But theres no getting around it. Its a day like any other without him here with us… Still, as the day approaches it feels heavier and heavier . This year i feel stronger than any of the past six.. Life is good now… We are doing well , work is better .. We’re all engaged in the world… Im grateful for those things .. Yet November still comes over me like a tide of black water and theres no swimming against that tide for me.
I know that meditation , exercise, sleep and being outdoors help and i will try to do as much of that as i can in the next 2 weeks.. Then the days will pass and it will be a slide into the holidays with their bittersweet mix … But then it will start getting brighter again..

.And so will i..

Nite all, nite sam
-me

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