Today is the day we mark Sam’s death. on the 20th he was hit by the car and his soul left his body, on the 21st he was declared dead and on the 22nd his organs went on to save 4 other people. Every year we relive that process.. . Today’s the day we burn a candle for Sam. In my tradition it’s called a yahrtzeit (יאָרצײַט) Literally ‘year time’ ..

I’ve been looking at pictures of Samlast night and  today… We came across this picture last night in one of our photo albums .. it’s a picture of a device I made for sam to be able to play guitar with his foot when he broke his right elbow.. he broke his left elbow.. … or actually I broke his left elbow a couple of years earlier.. he was always bouncing back from something.. indestructible it seemed to me.

T

Today i woke up trying to figure out what I was feeling..I didn’t work today… which felt right…

I miss my boy so much.. at the same time.. I feel pretty much at peace.. never thought I’d feel that …  I walked around the house looking at sams picutres and sams things..

Midday we took the first of our hikes up Bolton.. that’s become a tradition for us on Sams birthday and on the day he died.. Bolton was like a second home to our kids.. so we feel a strong sense of Sam there..

. Today a few freinds joined us.. but being midweek, we’re going to hike it again on Saturday at noon. if you want to join us. please meet at the resirt at 12..

most of us climbed hte rickety ladder to the top of the fire tower..     

we placed a samstone, shared a swallow of tequila for sam.. and lit a smoke bomb..

seemed like a fitting tribute to a great guy.

the rest of the day passed queitly..  a few friends called and droppde by.. it was just as it was supposed to be..

later, gabe picked up thai food and we had take out at home..

before we ate, we had l w a red bull toast to our  brother and son..

the food was delicious.. the day was  bitter sweet

We’re all gathering here at the house tomorrow night for  a pot luck and a night of sam stories and making sam stones. come if you can..

on Saturday at noon, we’re hiking bolton again.

my son.. you are so much in our hearts and in our lives… and will always be..

goodnight my son.  We love you foreever

-me