Today we held my father lin Law, Gabe’s funeral. It was…..very good . . …. I know it’s a strange word to attach to something sad.. but that’s how it felt. Gabe was surrounded by people who knew him and loved him. the service was meaningful and really spoke to the man he was..
His Obit appeared in the local paper this morning..
My job this morning was to drive to Binghampton and pick up Gabe’s older brother Armond. He’s an amazing guy, 88 years old and sharp as a tack and one of the best story tellers I’ve ever met
Armond was born upstairs in this house, .. his dad built it more than 90 years ago. He now lives in the building in front which dates from 1860 ?
I asked Armond to take us the scenic route to the church.. so we drove through the hardcore downtown streets of binghampton, johnson city, westover, endwell, and endicott. We got to the church right on time.. I have always called it ‘Our lady of the railroad tracks’.. but it actually has a real name.. “our lady of good council”. I’ce been in there many times in the 32 years I’ve been part of Diane’s family . today it felt warm and welcoming..
Here’s Armond telling my kids the story about him skipping school for three weeks because he was told ‘not to come back to school without his mother and father’.. and his mom had died and his dad was in italy.. so he figured he didnt have to go ..
Max was wearing Gabe’s IBM badge.. which I thought was pretty cool.
here are armond and gabes sister Ann
Here’s Mike Newfrock and Ron Dibble, Gabes neighbor for more than 50 years.
Me and my bro-in-law Steve..
Diane’s mom’s family Frances, marlene and their families.
Folks got to mill around and talk for about an hour before the service.. they looked at pictures, pciked up samstones and tlaked about Gabe.
The service was really nice.. In addition to the Mass, there was a great guitar player , Drew .. and a really wonderful Homily by Gabe and Marcias friend Deacon Tom. He knew Gabe well and really summed him up. Quiet, loving and always there for folks He told a story about a long conversation that he had with Gabe right after Sam died.. the story really touched me.. I was so grateful for how Tom honored Gabe with his comments.
After the Homily. Drew played ” Hear you Me” . by Jimmy Eat World . That was one of the songs we played at Sam’s memorial.. That’s when the tears I was looking for came..
Then came the end of the service.. Gabe. Max, Vincent. Victor . good freind Dave P and I stood up and walked with Gabe’s casket to the back of the church.. and lifted him into the hearse. I had a samstone in my hand as I helped lift him in.
I marveled at the weight.. here was my father in law.. and good friend.. a small guy.. still heavy.and the finality really sunk in .
We line up our cars for the procession tot the cemetery. I drove Marcia, Diane, Gabe and Max right behind the hearse.. (OK.. so I know it’s a little wierd taking pictures at a time like this.. but it was pretty cool..)
Diane’s brother Joe is a Detective for the county so we had a full police honor guard..
I know it sounds strange, but we all felt pretty peaceful driving. The service had been what we needed, Diane kept reminding me to keep my hands on the wheel.
I had never driven in a procession like this. I was amazed and touched to see everyone pull over in respect as we drove by..
We even got to blow through the red lights.. That was awesome !
We drove up to the mausoleum where we were greeted by a full military honor guard of current military members and veterans. They gave Gabe a three shot salute and a full flag ceremony in honor of his service. It was very moving..
We got to keep the casings !
We had a short service in the mausoleum where Gabe will be buried along with his parents.
From there it was back to the church for a lunch.. There I got to catch up with relatives like my aunt ann and her husband bob.
The mood was peaceful and upbeat.
Around 2, people began drifting off. Max took off for home. I took armond back to binghampton which gave me another hour with him.. which is always fun..
We spent the rest of the day at Gabe and Marcia’s house ( it will always be that to me) the place was full of family. We talked about Gabe, caught up, and goofed around. We even had a birthday party for Vincent’s GF Trish..
We even managed to catch a 4 generation picture with Marcia, Steve, Elizabeth and here kids Emma and Mason
and a picture of diane’s family..
now smaller… but then again, not really..
We miss you Gabe and love you. .. safe travels my good friend
ntite all, nite sam
-me
I smiled throughout…… especially when I saw the photo of the folding chair with the church’s name on it.
John Cohn is a national treasure. And it’s an honor to sample life through his words, his emotions, and his devotion to family and science.
It did my heart good to read both this post and the previous. As a gentleman no where near as experienced in life or well-versed in the wisdom that comes with age I cannot presume to speak anywhere close to the same level as you, Mr. Cohn. However, I can attest to the subtle truth you have presented herein.
When I was a much younger man I did experience some rather bittersweet moments quite similar as the ones you describe. They taught me to appreciate, value and respect the celebration of a loved one’s life – not just their passing. I grew to prize the ability to comfort others and as bizarre as it may seem was deeply honored to have the duty of acting as a pall-bearer. For me the knowledge that I was able to escort a loved one to their final resting place was a monumental honor to be cherished. And it was something I didn’t take lightly – especially since my own health worried others about my ability to do so.
A funeral should by all means be a chance to celebrate who a person was, their life and their impact upon us. All to often so many forget that and allow sadness to be their focus. You are truly blessed to have such a loving family with so many memories to share. Cherish that, treasure those moments and keep the memory of those dear to you alive by telling their stories. For it is in those tales that lies their life and that alone is a worth beyond measure.