Today marks the third day in our remembrance of Sam’s passing . On the 22nd four of Sam’s healthy organs went to save four peoples lives. That day was so surreal.. On the saddest day of our lives, Sam was able to give four other families hope.. and we were able to feel that through our grief. I will never forget the kindness and dedication of the transplant team at  the hospital in Clearwater Fl. as they found matches for Sam’s Heart, Kidneys and Liver.

:last night I woke in the middle of the night and remembered standing in the corridor as we watched Sam be shelled in to surgery for the donation. I’d not been able to think of that moment for the last 9 years. Every detail was clear to me as I relived that moment..

I remember what I was feeling. I was (and am) indescribably sad. (crying now as I type) . and I was so proud of Sam..  so hard to explain..

The rest of that day and the next few days, weeks, months are a blur.As fate would have it, we were able to meet on of Sam’s kidney recipient and got to know him and his family. He had 8 extra years of life because of sam before passing away this year.

We don’t know how the other three recipients faired. I can only hope that they too  had their lives enriched..  There’s beauty in not knowing what happened..

You can honor Sam’s memory right now by finding a loved one and letting them know what your wishes are around organ donation. I hope the issue never comes up in your life.. but if it does, them knowing what you would have wanted makes all the difference..

Thank you Sam for your generosity and strength …

we love you my boy

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

Today is the day that we mark Sam’s death. It’s beanie years. in some way it’s felt like an eernity.. in other ways.. it feels like’s just yesterday. There were many times today.. and many times nearly every day .. that I still can’t believe it..

Love is that strong..

 

I went around the house last night looking at pictures of Sam and his brothers. I wasn’t intending to capture them all.. and I don’t think I did.. but you can see by this collction that Sam is never far from our eyes, minds or hearts.

 

I came back from picking up Max at the airport to find a Yahrzeit candle hanging on the back door.  Yarzeit.. means ‘year time’. bandits the way my people mark the anniversary of the death of a loved one. our friend Maureen leaves one for us every year..  lit the candy for Sam.. and though about him.. what would he have made of this day ?

 

We 

 

at 1 PM we met a bunch of friends for our hike up Bolton Mt. Bolton was a favorite spot for all of our kids.. SO it’s become our tradition to hike the mountain on Sams Birthday and his death day..

we had a good group of friends gathered.. with their dog.s.. . The weather was mild.. and lost no snow .. tons of ice though .

\\\

 

we walked fast and soon we were at the top

 

i broke out my moonshine.. ad some red bull  for a toast 

 

Gave, Max and I headed up tot he fire tower for our ritual.. for Sam.. Fireworks and redouble !!!!

 

the tower was just a little ricketier than last time 

 

then came time for fireworks.. as always lighting afuse in the 30 mph breeze was not easy. but eventually persistence prevailed.. BOOOOOOOM !

 

and a toast

 

at that point we realized that Chai was missing.. where was she ?!?! \

 

we found her half way down.. the climb was a little much for her and she was waiting patiantly for us.

 

then back to the hosue for a really nice potluck gathering . many folks came to help us rememberSam.. 

 

as always, we laid out a redouble toast for every guest \

 

then it was time tomato smartness.. 

last order of business was to mark Kevins birthday..

 

 

Most folks were gone by 9.. the house cleaning was mostly done by 10..

 

now here we are at the end of a long day.. thinking about Sam.. and sending him love… wherever and whatever that means now

we miss you my son.. we will always love you !

nte sam. nite all. -me

 

Nine years ago tonight Sam was hit by a car while visiting friends in Florida. His soul left his body at that instant. He never regained consciousness. Sometime a few minutes later we got that call on the phone. I remember it so clearly.. I know where I was standing.. and yet.. i still cannot bring myself to think about that moment.

I miss that boy so much. He was/is such a fun, funny and loving kid. …. He’s still so much part of our lives.

this is  the message Sam  left me on the day he died..

 

I love hearing his voice.  you can hear everything in this message.. his fun his daring.. and the big love he had inside him..

Last thing he said was “Allright… love you bye…”..

That just about sums it up my beautiful boy..

Allright… love you bye…!

nite all, nite Sam

We will love you forever

-me

 

Had a busier day than planned. Even though I’m off I spent a good 3 hours trying to keep up with email . Believe it or not.. that gives me the piece of mind to relax the rest of the time. We spent the main part of the day buying a new (to us) car.. another prius.. which is like back to the future. It’s a 2014 black prius thats almost exactly the same car as the 2004 black prius we drove for nearly 220,000 miles. it feels comfortable to be back in that seat. kind of like a retro spaceship..

First order of biz after getting the car was to drop by the Generator  for the monthly metope. The place was hopping !. It is so great seeing the energy there.

 

after that we drove out to Charlotte for a late dinner with Victor and Patti.. they’re house sitting in a beautiful place near the lake..   great company.. nice fire

 

ok.. late night again.. gotta sleep.

nite all. nite sam

-me