I’m just about to come off of two weeks of sort-of vacation.. I say sort-of because i did do a little work each day. I was taking the time because this is a tough time of year for us.. That mission was accomplished. I was able to be rested an present for the things I needed to do around Sam’s memorial time..
I also hoped to catch up on some projects and get a little more clear headed about work. On the project s front I did ok.. not too much accomplished but I was abel to finish some electronics projects for friends and I was able to install some automation in my house that I was excited about (look at the bell tower next time you drive by after sunset and before 10 pm)
On the work front.. .. maybe more mixed.. I was not able to detach as much as I wanted for work.. I was trying to do some deeper thinking a-on a few topics.. got some in.. but nt the clarity perhaps I needed. Maybe its too much to ask of myself to have instant clarity on hard topics like that..
i will say I am pretty refreshed and looking forward(-ish) to being back at work.. So much to do by the end of the year..
Today was hard. We attended the funeral of my cousin Bill and Debra’s son Alan. Alan was only 25
The service was at Ohavi Zedik in Burlington. That place was packed with friends and family. We heard from family. friends and teachers what an amazing kid Alan was. He was musical, athletic and academically gifted. Compassionate, dedicated.. politically aware .. and funny in a serous way.. A lot like his dad. We heard from Alan’s grandparents Sandy and Ruth about playing musical improv with Alan and about the stack of books he always borrowed on his visits. We heard great stories from his sister Clara about all she learned sharing a bathroom with Alan. We heard from his music professor at Dartmouth how Alan could make his Sax sing.. and from his friends about his confessions of being a Libertarian . As much as I loved the stories and the music, there was no avoiding the pain of being there.. and seeing Alan’s family in their grief. Even though we’ve walked this same hard, hard path, I don’t pretend to know hat they were going through.. One thing I’ve learned through Sam’s death is that everyone has to do their own grieving.. no ones path is the same.
After the service we all went to the cemetery.. We watched as Alan’s plain pine coffin was lowered into the ground.. Then we all helped cover it with earth. It was so hard to be there.. my heart was breaking.. everyone’s was..
After saying Kaddish we left the cemetery and headed back to Bill and Debra’s … we were all pretty numb.. Several family members from my Dad’s side of the family were there.. My cuisine John and his wife Jean. My cousins Suzie and her daughter Katie and my great aunt Ellen. I t was so good having them there … We brought them out to our house for a short visit which felt good.
now i’m sitting here thinking of Alan wishing him peace and his family strength. They have a lot of love around them.. I know how important that is
I’m struggling about what to write here this evening. Today was thanksgiving.. and i woke up thankful. We had a really great day with family and friends.. and I felt grateful to be surrounded by love
At the same time. The last two days have brought sad news from both sides of our family . My sister in law Pat’s mother Dot passed away yesterday and today we learned that my young cousin Alan died earlier this week. Alan and his family live here in Burlington. I still can’t really take it in.. Tomorrow we will see Alan’s family and I am bracing for that.
Our hearts go out to both Dot and Alan’s families tonight
I intended not to think about work today.. but didn’t quite manage do that. I had to write up my annual performance self assessment. I’ll spare you the details of what I did and didn’t do.. but thats not the point. the point is , it’s so very hard for me to sit down and account for what I did in the past year. I know i was busy.. but what did I actually get done.. ??? I went through my calendar day by day for the last year and noted what I was doing when. It’s pretty interesting. .. one thing I can tell from that is that I really like people.. i travel a bunch.. and I work too many hours..
the hardest part is that you have to give yourself a grade.. what would you give yourself ?
