I was able to rearrange my day a bit and get the last flight home today instead of flying hoem tomorrow. Thats nice because I have to turn around and go back on Monday. Two days at home with Diane and the dogs is worth it.
I’m sitting in the Newwark airport and glad to be here for one.. the wireless and power was not working well on the @#$@ lufthansa flight.. but I was stull able to get through a zillion back emails. …,, sending responese to all those emails will generate another zillion emails in response..
new-work from newark..
ok.. not so funny.. but thats about as funny as I’m feeling right now..
Thursday night – he’s in tears it’s been a strange week… Very satisfying in some ways from work and very troubling and others… Usual stuff and unusual stuff all mixed together. One thing I noticed is that I found myself crying a lot… That’s strange for me. As with most guys, crying doesn’t come very easy or often to me .… But this week it happened. Quite a lot… actually. Once.. no wait, maybe twice … with the sad dream, a couple of times over sad poems (Mary Oliver mostly)… Once on a phone call with a friend who mentioned a city I associate with sadness. A few times on sad news from people close to me. Even a work situation… Imagine that.
Once on a phone call with a friend who mentioned a city I associate with sadness. Even a work situation… Imagine that.
None of these were because I was particularly sad… Life is actually pretty good right now and I feel reasonably happy…( knock on simulated wood grained furniture)
And then I “remembered”… That my mother-in-law marcia just died. I say “remembered” because of course I remember… But somehow I had nit associated the sadness coming up through all those in channels…
Our brains and hearts are amazing instrument arent they ?
reminded me that Diane and I had traded Mary Oliver Poems last night. the one she sent I really liked:
“I Worried” – by mary oliver
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers flow in the right direction, will the earth turn as it was taught, and if not how shall I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven, can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows can do it and I am, well, hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it, am I going to get rheumatism, lockjaw, dementia?
Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.”
I’ve just discovered scarfs !.. I brought a scarf with me this trip and it has been wonderful . it’s cold and rainy here.. and I put on my scarf.. and it was suddenly warm and cozy..
