today is the day I always think of when this time of year comes around. By this time 14 years ago we were down in Florida saying goodbye to Sam. It was a surreal day. ‘Diane and I both slept in the hospital room.. In someways… I will never forget that day… In some ways I have trouble letting myself remember it.

Thinking about that always makes me wonder how I’ll feel when this day comes around. Today I felt strong. I felt great deal of love and gratitude for Sam for all the people who have been there for us these last 14 years.

I was trying to find a way to spend some time with Sam. Last night I stayed up very late looking through hundreds of tiny video clips on one of our old computer directories. All of the files had names like “unnamed 1234″.avi” Somewhere from Max, some work from GabÉ, some work for me… But then there were some from sam. I ended up finding about 30 little clips. I so loved watching and listening to him talk… He was so funny 🙂

Today I went for a run and decided to listen to music that Sam loved or reminded me of Sam.

Here’s a playlist of sam’s memories

I started with “here you me” by Jimmy Eat World. It was a song that was popular when Sam died and was the soundtrack to the memorial video that one of his friends made… I think it was Sumner. Every time I listen to it… Even now it makes me cry. Take a listen. https://www.songfacts.com/facts/jimmy-eat-world/hear-you-me

I listened to these from Sams playlists during my run

• “Party hard” By Andrew WK
• “Du hast” by Rammstein
• ” Forget me knot” By serge Tarkien
• “”Leyenda” Played by Andrés Segovia …Sam was an excellent classical Guitar player and had just mastered this piece right before he passed. This guitar teacher James played it at the memorial service http://www.samstones.org/music/05%20Asturias.mp3
• “Lithium” by Nirvana. As sung by the Mmu choir at Sam’s Memorial http://www.samstones.org/music/10%20Lithium.mp3

My favorite song today was

• “Song to my brother”… By Max Cohn… He wrote it for Sams memorial service. Please listen to it http://www.samstones.org/music/04%20Song%20for%20My%20Brother.mp3

You can Hear all the music that sam’s friends played at his memorial service at this link

http://samstones.org/WordPress1/?page_id=72

Hearing that music and hearing Sam on those recordings is brought me a lot of peace today. Even though I’m sad… Really sad…. I’m so happy to have known that boy… And loved him.

I still do

Night all, nite sam

-me

ps. Remember.. we’re having a virtual toast for sam 9-9:30 PM EST tonight.. Please join us if you can ! https://fb.me/e/1RHEP70Nb