Today, as part of our  massive clean up / fixup of our house we tackled our bedroom. That meant  goign through the pile of posters and artifacts we’re stored under our bed. Most of them are about Sam. I always have to prepare for that.. I love looking at his stuff.. but I have to get myself in the right frame of mind

Under there I found a bunch of posters that Sam’s friends and classmates made after he died .. Also found a bunch of other tributes people made  I remember what it was like getting these tributes.. I remember feeling for all those  people trying to express their feelings.. and appreciating the effort. It didn’t make me less sad.. just that Sam was loved by many folks..Thats’s something

I also found other stuff.. things that sam had made, pictures of Sam..  

I gathered the stuff carefully.. kept the stuff that matttered most to me.. and carefully dealt with the rest.

It was exhausting , sad and satisfying all at the same time

The space under our bed was clear

and so was my heart…

 

nite all, nite sam

-me