It’s 11:30PM on what would have been Sam’s 17th Birthday..   Happy birthday my son.. I hope you can feel the love and respect that we and so many of our friends have for you . I remember every one of your birthdays.. and expect that I’ll remmebr all the ones to come. These days are bittersweet… I miss you so much.. and at the same time.. I love the memories of all of your time with us. You are a remarkable being.. so funny and loving.. and emotionally tuned in.. I feel you that way still…

We still have the sign I made when you were born hanging in the front hall. I look at it often.. I remmeber how proud I was mking it.. juat like the ones I made when both of your brothers were born…

Mom and I wanted to spend soem time outdoors today thinking about you and feelign you close. We took the dogs all the way up the catamount trail and then down honey hollow.. I htink it was about 8 miles.. it was raining.. but beautiful to be outside in..

Mom planted soem forget-me-nots next to a favorite sitting rock we have near a stream crossing at the top of honey hollow

I set off a smokebomb there just for you.

After the hike we picked up Gabe early at school and went out for sushi.. then to a movie (Str Trek.. it was great !).. It felt good to be all together. I left samstones at the resturant and in my seat at the movies.

After the movie, I took Gabe to Lacrosse (he’s really good !.. you’d be so proud !).. then back to CHMS for the science fair.. then home. We’d told a few of sam’s freinds to come by if they felt they wanted to to mark your birthday.. we had almost 40 folks show up. to be here for you.  So many of your good freinds are still in our lives !We feel well loved and supported.

It was cold tonight so mom made a fire.. We all wrote you messages on scrap paper then threw them in the fire for you..

Kase was there with some new ink.. check it out.. it’s got your initals just like Jakes !

We all did a red bull toast then got around the cakes mom made. We sang happy birthday… It was a moment I didn’t know how I’d react to.. but it just felt good.. so much love in the air..

Afterwards your room was packed with kids, the guitars were going.. it felt almost like old times….

almost…..

We’ll my son.. another year.. another milestone.. our love for you still grows. You are forever in our hearts…  I love you
-dad