Sam’s been gone four weeks today. I’m learning that you really feel these milestones: the first hour, the first day, the first month since your loss. A timeline for your grief shows you how far you’ve come. .. and how far you still need to go. It’s even hard for us to pick a date for Sam’s death… was it Monday the 20th when he was injured? Was it Tuesday the 21st when he was declared brain dead ?.. or was it Wed the 22nd when his organs were donated…. How do we calculate at all when we know/hope that his heart is still beating in someone’s chest…. Diane and I have been reading studies that show that organ recipients… heart recipients in particular… often begin to display emotions and traits and preferences of their donors. I know it sounds far fetched.. but there is evidence out there.. I smile thinking about a kid somewhere in Florida who’s suddenly developed a craving for Red Bull and hanging upside down.
On a related note: Diane, Max and I have been invited to got the MMU on Tuesday and Wednesday to talk to the health and PE classes about organ donation. The meetings occor annually and were scheduled long before Sam’s death. A great guy name Jim Carter goes into the classes to talk about seatbelt usage and organ donation. Jim’s daughter Andrea was killed near Browns River in 1990 while a senior at MMU. Jim also brings in an organ recipient who talks about how someone’s tragedy saved his/her life. We’ve been invited to come in with Jim and talk about the donation decision with some of the classes. The school is giving anyone the option for stepping out if the topic makes them uncomfortable. We’re hoping the discussion prompts the students to go home and talk about organ and tissue donation with their families. We’ve learned that the most important thing is that your family knows your wishes I know this is a tough topic.. but I can tell you first hand…. there is no greater gift that a person can give or receive. Even though Sam won’t be with us for our christmas… his organs are giving four families christmases they would never have had. This season please consider discussing the gift of life with your families.
On a completely different topic… another Sam story. Last night we were over at the Holt’s house for dinner. (Megan.. I really DID like your mint brownies). It was a wonderful evening. Nathan and Max had fun comparing Nathan’s Military School (4:30AM wake up 10PM lights out) and Max’s Art School (12 noon wake 4:00 AM lights out most nights). Both were intense programs.. but the differences were pretty funny. .. As we spoke I was fidgeting with the silverware as I always do and built up a cool balanced sculpture of knives and glassware. We were all sitting around admiring my creation and talking about how well Sam lived his life. We were talking about how Sam without being greedy or spoiled managed to get to do just about everything he ever wanted to try. At that point Gavin Holt started talking about his dirt bike and how much Sam really wanted to get one… Diane reminded me that was one place where we had drawn the line.. I explained that despite Sam’s pleading… we didn’t feel we had space on our small lot for a motor bike. At that exact moment… my knife and glass sculpture that had been sitting balanced for 30 minutes fell over with a crash… OK Sam…. I hear you my son ..
OK… today I try xmas shopping again… I’ll let you know how that goes.
Peace everyone…Peace Sam….
-jc
ps my mom was on my case about my poor spelling. . ah..the joys of dyslexia I’ve found a way to spell check this blog .. enjoy the new improved letter ordering !.