I just realized that I got in to work at 8:45.. and did not walk outside of my office until 6:30.. I didn’t go out to eat, I didn’t get anything to drink.. even go to the restroom. .. I ate a handful of peanuts… and the last half a handful of wasabi coated peas I found.. but nothing else..  I do remember opening  the door once when my friend Steve knocked.. I must have looked a little deranged.. a hermit in his cave.. I think I was on the phone the entire day. I know I had 15 min free.. and that’s when I found the peanuts.

The funny thing is.. I think I enjoyed my day.. I think i got things done.. and I think i learned some stuff.. i think.. or at least I think i think..

One thing that I did spend time thinking about today was how out of touch I sometimes get when I’m busy .. I had been emailing back and forth with friends in Japan since the earthquake and tsunami last week.. My Japanese friends are stoic and strong.. the picture they painted did not alarm me too much.. but I must confess until Diane started showing me pictures, I had little idea of the magnitude of the destruction and suffering. I spent some time today looking through the pictures and stories and it breaks my heart.

I have said here before that I have chosen to disconnect from the world a little. Even though I live a very public life..i try to disconnect from the news of the world.  I rarely  watch news, read newspapers, listen to radio news or look at news websites. I started doing this after Sam died.. I had enough of my own emotional trauma that I felt I didn’t need more from  otuside.. Even as I’v ebecome stronger these past years, I’ve never gotten back in the habit of plugging in..

Now when a tragedy of this magnitude strikes a place I know and care deeply about.. I don’t know if I’m making the right choice.  I feel selfish for unintentionally shutting out the magnitude of whats just happened in Japan..

Now.. what can I do to help ? Is there anything I/we can do ?

night all. nite sam

-me