I made a good call today. I had been going back and forth on whether I should leave Minnesota and fly to Cape Cod for my father’s 77^th birthday. I’d made reservations.. but I’d also made plans to stay in the meeting I was having in Rochester. This morning I walked into the meeting room and polled some of  the folks there on whether I should stay.. or should go see my dad.. 100 % voted for me to go .. It was nice to know that I was not needed there 🙂 … but I’d already made my decision to go. I caught a 1 PM flight from Minneapolis to Providence and drove the rest of the way.   I was dialed in to my Minnesota meeting the whole way… The meeting ended just as  I drove up to my folks rental house in  North Falmouth. I came in just as my father’s birthday party was starting. He had no idea that I was going to show up. The look on his face made the whole trip worthwhile.  

Sam’s passing has been so hard on all of our family.. It’s really important for us to get with our extended families like this now.

    Dinner was a typical Cohn affair.. late, loud and delicious. My dad made his signature (and I believe only) dish.. Batchelor Spaghetti.. I think the Bachelor part means that you use whatever’s in the fridge to make it. The main ritual of its preparation is throwing the spaghetti against the outside of the fridge to see if it’s done.. if it slides off.. it needs more cooking. If it sticks:.. perfecto !

    Several of my sister Mary’s friends from up the street were there for the party… Mary’s college roommates Caroline  and Amy were there as well as Caroline’s kids and her parents Zippy (cool name ) and Barbara  and their friend Judy, her daughter Heather and Heather’s son.   It was very festive and chaotic. We ended with a big cake cutting ceremony. I could tell that my dad was happy to have us all around…

 

In the course of dinner I found out that Heather’s husband had passed away 6 weeks ago. I also learned that Zippy and Barbara lost a son to cancer 25 years ago.. Judy had recently lost her husband  and that one of the sons of the  owners of this rental had died 2-3 years ago of liver disease .  I’m reminded of the parable of Buddha and the mustard seed.. Who hasn’t tasted grief ?   As tough as that sounds.. we all had a great conversation about loss and healing.. It’s so easy to talk to people who have had similar.. (how can I even say similar ? ) experiences . It was interesting.. funny and lie affirming to talk about how each of us was doing at our different stages of grief. From there I went and roughhoused  on the floor with my niece Ellery. ..

and held my new nephew Jake .

Life is funny and good.

 

OK… bandwidth here is terrible. I’m going to try to post this now.. If I doesn’t work.. I’ll try tomorrow morning.   Talk to you all later.. G’nite all.. G’nite Sam.  

 

-me