Monday night – number 10

   This has got to be a very short post tonight.. I’m helping host a 3 day work meeting the next couple of days and I need to get my beauty rest.   Really not much to report today.. I am working hard to  manage my stress level at work by letting people know what I can and cannot handle in my current state of mind.  It seems to be  working well. When I explain to people what I’m capable of doing.. they always seem to understand.  I’m finding that folks are willing to help me get things done…  I’ve never been very good at delegating.. but there’s no time like the present.. now there’s an interesting expression.. there literally is ‘no time like the present’ .

   Outside of work., the day had it’s ups and downs. .it was another absolutely beautiful day.. I took advantage of it this morning to take Chi for a run in the woods. The ground is still a little mushy.. but it’s dry enough to run. I took my normal snowshoe loop but this time it was covered with new flowers and ferns. It could not have been more beautiful. The steep trails back there remind me how out-of shape I get in the winter time.

   I managed to get outside a few times during my work day as well. First I went to lunch with my buddy Paul.. then I took a walk with my friend Jen after lunch .. I find that  being outside in this beautiful weather makes me feel closer to Sam .

   I got home just in time to join Diane’s 6PM yoga class.. as always it was great to go from a hectic work day into a demanding yoga class.. I tell you.. I feel like a wimp next to some of those women in the class.. I always leave the class sore but relaxed…

After yoga, Ma x and Gabe headed into our friend Dan’s apartment to cook dinner.. Diane and I celebrated by eating cauliflower and tofu.. two things the kids would never touch.. it felt like we were getting away with something.

  After inner we got a call from Corporal Covert from the Florida Highway Patrol..  Corporal Covert is handling the investigation around Sam’s accident.. We’ve been waiting several months to get closure  on the accident report. Corporal Covert basically confirmed what we already pretty much knew. There was no outside reasons apparent for Sam’s accident. There was no indication of a malfunction of the crossing signals, there was o indication of excessive speed.. and the driver of the car had the right of way and was not impaired in any way. It’s hard to explain how this information affected me.. In one way.. it was only confirming what I already knew.. in another way it was comforting to finally get some closure on the details.. In a completely different way.. it was so difficult to be on the phone talking in a matter-of-fact way about the details of Sam’s death. It was very hard for me to keep it together.   In the end.. the details of Sam’s accident lined up with every thing else about his death.. no complications no loose ends.. it seems he was ready to go.. we can’t help thinking he had had to leave us for a reason.. if only we knew what it was…

   Oh Sam… we love you..

 

-dad

 
ps. Kerry B sent me the following picture from lacrosse. Each of the boys on Sam’s old team are carrying Sam’s number ’10’ on their helmets..   We love that..