Ahhhh… I’m lying down in Sam’s room after a really good day. Today was a million  times better than yesterday… or I should say I was million times better.. I guess the days are all the same. Yesterday was really tough for me..  Today I felt good, light and relatively carefree. This is another strange aspect of our new life. I never know what any day will bring until after its passed I never know how much energy or resiliency I’ll have… I’ve never had these kind of swings. I do see the positive in what I’m saying here.. having these swings means that I’m having some significantly good days.. and that’s real progress.

The approach of the six month anniversary of Sam’s passing had loomed pretty large in my head for a few weeks. The passing of the half year mark seemed somehow significant to me.. in the end.. there was nothing extraordinary  about the day   still it was hard.. Diane suggested that  these anniversary days.. and days like mother’s or fathers day are in one  way no different than every other day. There are good times and bad times in each… It’s just that other folks recognize those marker days and that how amplifies things…. Dunno…

    Anyway… today was splendidly unremarkable.. I had a big phone meeting with some of my superiors at work that had me pretty nervous and worked up yesterday… it went fine.. as it generally does.. Which reminds me of Sam’s questions to me about why I spent so much time working and worrying about work.. I guess the working is ok.. it’s the worrying about work that I don’t want to ramp back up to….  Here I am talking during the meeting..wearign my good luck light up headband..

   After work Diane and I went to meet our friends at the Inn at Essex. In the lobby, we spotted this sign.. At first I thought it was a calming drink.. the I realized it was a seminar. 

Max, Sam Jessie and Gabe joined us all  bit later at Tiny Thai in Essex for dinner. 

 Larry. Leah and Hannah who are up visiting from Pittsburgh . Larry and I went to grad school together… now he’s a big famous professor… Larry and his family have been coming up to see us for the last couple of years.. This is the first time we’ve seen them since Sam died.  They knew and loved Sam. Larry is a very open and spiritual guy.  We had a great time sharing experiences and thoughts about our own spiritual journey. He’s also knows everyone and everything about the folks in our industry.. so he’s a great source of corporate and academic gossip. I just love hanging out  with him and his family…

   Oh man.. it’s already past midnight.. I’ve got to get some sleep..  It’s nice being in your room again Sam…

-jc