Hmmmmmm…

 I’m in a funny mood tonight. So many well meaning people have asked me ‘how are you’ today.. that I’m not sure how to respond . I wouldn’t have them stop asking .. but the grooves in my answers are so worn so deep  that even I can’t bear to listen to them anymore. I want people to keep asking me how I’m doing.. I love them for asking..  I just don’t want to keep answering.   What to do ?  make something up ?

People have an uncanny sense of what we need and where we are.. My good buddy Kerry arraigned a meeting at lunch with Kat C.   a very cool and able local metal artist. We brainstormed about what might be the perfect memorial to Sam’s. We had a great talk about what would capture Sam’s spirit of fun.. We talked about kinetic sculpture, fountains, light and sound..   We ended up spending most of our time talking about a piece of art that might be the centerpiece for a local skateboard park. We all left loaded with ideas and optimism about what we might be able to make happen. I live for these moments that my sadness for Sam’s passing  can be transformed into doing something.. making something.. creating something that can be enjoyed by other folks.  It’s like the ultimate alchemists trick of converting sadness into good works. I am absolutely certain that my only path back to sanity is by helping other people channels Sam’s energy into learning and having fun

 

The rest of the day was sort of a blur.. I was in work meetings all day but not much got through to my brain.  I got home in time for yoga.. then we started to help Gabe on his homework. I know that he’s having some of the same motivational issues that I’m having.. still.. he pushes through.. he’s a great role model for me..

Midway through a book report, our friend Carol showed up with a bunch of beautiful roses. Somehow she knew we needed that bright color tonight.

 

Thank you all for taking care of us… we need you.

Gnite all. Gnite Sam.

-me