Hey John….

Thank you for all the goodies that came my way from you.  Jleigh dropped off some beautiful tulips and daffodils.  The daffs will be out any day now.  It was good seeing Jleigh.  She is growing her hair out for locks for love and that is a true act of love because she dislikes having long hair.  Also from you I received my birthday package from Marcie.  Thank you!  You are so thoughtful.  I did truly love the poem you sent me via Shane.  It is more important than you know right now.

My birthday morning was quiet and nice.  Gabe slept in due to feeling crappy yesterday.  He did feel better to take a few hours on the mountain with Trevor to celebrate National Gaper Day.  Here is a picture of those weirdos….

After dropping them off I went to see Marcie.  It was so good to have her Reiki hands back on me.  So relaxing.  She also gave me a bag of goodies…lots of chocolate and a neck cozy to heat up in the microwave. 

After Marcie’s stop I went straight to my after school yoga class in the elementary school.  Those kids are so cute.  They really liked knowing it was my birthday and the number 49 surprised them.  They gave up on “are you one? …are you two?” at number 16.  I shared my candy with them and some how word got down the hall and a cake arrived for me with a singing trio.  Apparently there had been a fundraiser and a cheesecake was left over so I got it.  That was so nice since I was not interested in a cake this year.

Back home and more flowers arrived.  My Mom & Dad sent a beautiful bouquet and Patti & Family sent 5 beautiful flowers.  Kathy also dropped off some of her award winning butter crunch.  I refuse to open it because it would soon disappear.  Oh, the morning began with Jen dropping off a dish (handmade by her) of pansy’s with a SamStone in the center.  That was so special.  Your parents are getting me a Jasmine plant in a few weeks, once the green house gets their shipment in.  I had phone calls and drop-bys.  I feel loved. 

The evening was quiet and filled with many phone calls.  Kristin dropped off Gabe and they stayed to eat cake with us. 

Oh and Gabe managed to get me some flowers to plant in the garden.  I think Kristin and Barbara helped the plan & execution of that gift.

I did also talk with Max several times today.  He is in the midst of another apartment venture.  Hope this works for him.

Well a great day sending and receiving love all around.  I know Sam was not too far away and some how cosmically knew it was my birthday.  Even though you are not here I also feel connected to you.  It’s nice to know that physical contact is not always needed to connect with someone.  Much love to you John.  Thanks for your part in my fool’s birthday.  love…d 

Hi John…

My day was uneventful however there was much happening around me.  First a Happy Birthday shout out to Berto and Dylan.  Nephew Berto just couldn’t wait one more day to share his birthday with me.  Oh well…he gets cake first.  Dylan spent his 16th birthday recuperating from a broken collar bone.  Gabe & I stopped over today and saw his xrays.  His collar bone looked like a broken chicken bone,,,it snapped right in half.  Too bad because he was finishing out a beautiful season with snowboarding.  Oh well…he is in good spirits and happier to have it at the end rather than the beginning of the season.  He has to sit tall and keep perfect posture while it heals.  That is a challenge for any teenager.

Speaking of teenagers, tonight was my last teen yoga and they all wanted to keep it going.  I will be moving the class to Wednesdays, a non-lacrosse night. 

Brit has arrive in Montreal today and is staying with Caroline.  Barry will pick her up tomorrow.  I’m not sure when we will get some time with her.  She is planning on finishing up her schooling and get a job.  I can’t wait to talk with her.  Barry is in between nursing jobs and slept in Max’s room today before his night shift.  It worked out fine because I was barely home.  I told him to take Max’s room so the dogs would not wake him.

Greta went for surgery today to get a new hip.  I am told all went well and she is recovering.  I am proud that she went ahead with this.  Those major surgergies take some thought.  Her recovery will be a slow and steady.  They are very careful to ease into working it.  I hope I can go see her soon.  I had Sydney and Oliver in class tonight. 

Those are all biggies.  My day was mediocre in comparison.  It started with the Prius getting inspected today.  For some reason you, me, the autbody shop, the detail shop, Toyota service, and the police officer who wrote the accident report on your deer encounter….all did not see that the inspection sticker was 3 months past due.  However, the nice officer who stopped me on Sunday did.  I actually love the fact that all of us did not notice.  Human nature at its best. 

Once home Kathy and I took the dogs for a walk.  There is alot of mud out there.  The dogs were coated.  So much for my clean dogs. 

Once home I headed to the laundry mat.  This is the first time I have gone since you left.  I had to wash some bedding.  Once home, I left again to get Gabe for his dentist appoinment.  He got his teeth cleaned and sealants put in his back molars.  He was amazed with all the hands in his mouth.  When we came home I met Barry on the corner.  He had a good rest and shower.  It was good for him to see the kids at our house waiting for the yoga class.  It has been awhile.

Gabe is a little under the weather.  I’ll see what it turns into tomorrow.

I talked with my brother Steve tonight.  They had five goats born within about an hours time…twins and triplets.  They have had to bottle feed them.  Hopefully we will get a visit in May from him…and maybe Elizabeth.  I think the goats will stay home. 

I also talked with Linda.  They are all doing well.  I loved catching up with her.

I have been practicing staying in the moment today.  When my mind travels to understanding that I will pass through my 49th birthday without Sam on this planet I am truly sad.  My experience tells me that I will pass through that day as I do all my others….with gratitude, love and sadness all wrapped together.  This mind does not do us justice at times.  It creates senarios that really never come true yet make you ache as you live them in your mind.  Being present with breath in this moment…right now…is just fine.  And that will be the same tomorrow.

With that…I say good night to you.  I love you and miss you.  love…d          

Hi John…

Today and tomorrow our days are filled with teeth.  I had my teeth cleaned and Gabe went to get tests done for the orthodontist.  Gabe also will get his teeth cleaned tomorrow and have some preventative fillers added to his back molars. 

As I had my mouth open the hygienist said “I haven’t seen your husband in a while.  Has he been traveling?”.  What could I say?  I said “oh is he overdue?”.  Then I just let it go.  I love those moments when I look at someone and just know I cannot possibly say more.   Gabe had one this evening while I was in yoga.  You had a call from the synagogue.  I think you know who that may have been.  Anyways, she asks Gabe when she could talk with you.  He gave the normal answer…not this month nor the next.  She then asked when would Gabe be talking with his Dad.  He responded “well we don’t have communication right now”.  Needless to say she slowly backs out of that conversation.  You will have to do some re-connections when you return.

I had a lovely yoga class tonight.  Gabe & I ate early because he had lacrosse at 7:30.  We had veggie tacos.  Both of us decided never again to eat early.  Gabe had a great first practice at CHMS.  That will be the only time lax will be at our end of town.  The rest are at Mills Rivers Park.

I was listening to the radio over the weekend and a show had a chef from “Greens” in San Fransisco on.  I felt so special to know that we ate there.  Did we enjoy it?  I do remember dashing off to the airport.  I’m glad Leah and Larry got to eat slower.

For some reason I woke up at 4:44.  That is the second time this week I woke up at that number.  Not sure what that means other than I am tired right now.  I am off to sleep.  Hope you sleep well.  love…d

Hello John!

It has been a few days since I last wrote.  I really didn’t have much to say.  It was a very quiet weekend.  Gabe made his way to Bolton every day.  He was very pleased with some of his last runs.  He still is hitting the features and not kicking back yet.  Next weekend is the last. 

Saturday night Gabe & I went to Sakura’s for sushi.  We both had been wanting it lately.  Also, it was to celebrate my birthday.  April 1st he hopes to go to Bolton dressed for National Gapper Day so we will not have sushi that night.  I guess Gapper Day is when skiers/riders try to dress in the 70’s clueless skiers attire.  The real problem is he is using some of my clothing.  Does that give you a idea as to how out of fashion I may be.  I can’t help it if I have not grown out of or ripped some clothing.  No reason to get new stuff.  However when your kid wears your stuff to try and look foolish I guess I should upgrade my look.

I had a fun weekend being with friends Marcia, Jill and some new friends also.  I good time at Jill’s house. 

This morning I took the dogs on the river shore trail and tried to see if all the ice had melted.  On the trail there were just a few little spots left.  Along the river there were still blocks of ice.

Not to go into gory details…Max and friends let their apartment go.  There had been issues about work being completed before they pay rent.  It was just best to let that go.  They are out looking again.  That is a tough job to get 4 people to see an apartment, go to school and work.  I’m sure they will manage. 

I gave the dogs a bath today.  Chai really needed it.  Satori still feels a little wet when you get your fingers down into her fur.  She has such think hair.  They were good…or course feeding them cheese and sandwich meat while bathing always helps.

I had a hard time making real progress on anything this weekend.  It felt like a lazy haze fell over the house.  Part was getting Gabe out when he planned on leaving…and I also had more driving then usual.  I did weed the berry patch.  Can you believe I did that on March 27th?  Amazing.

Good night John.  I am off.  love to you…d