Long, long day.. we finished packing about 2 AM last night which gave us 3 hours of sleep before we had to wake up for our plane. Scott graciously offered to drive us to the airport.. none of us were too wide awake..

   The flight from Burlington to Chicago was uneventful.   It was good having all four of us traveling together..

We got to Chicago around 9:30   which gave us  little more than an hour to wander around O’Hare.. I’m always in such a hurry when I go through their that I never take the time to look around. There’s some cool stuff

    The trip from Chicago to San Diego  went very quickly for me since I slept nearly the whole way. While I slept, Gabe kept busy with my camera..   Some pretty weird stuff.

 We got in to San Diego about noon, rented a car and headed for the hotel. As soon as we had dropped our bag, we headed to a nearby restaurant for a quick bite.

After lunch, Max was so sleep deprived that he opted to stay in the hotel  and sleep while Gabe, Diane and I headed for the beach..   We headed over the Coronado bridge and drove to Coronado beach.. Believe it or not, it was almost deserted. Gabe and I went to a small surf shop ad bought a skim board while Diane slept off some of her jet lag.

   Gabe tried to teach me to skimboard with minimal success. His own mastery of the sport improved 100 times just today… By the end of the day he was skimming and.. he made it look easy.  When we were tired of skimming, Gabe and I headed out into the frigid water to dodge the waves. Gabe had to keep reminding me that I loved  cold water… my teeth were chattering after about 15 minutes.

     We were freezing as we drove back to the hotel. I had to stand in the hot shower for 10 minutes to chase the chill. The boys went out for an explore while Diane and I got dressed for the IBM CTRE dinner    … The dinner was out by the pool and very casual, As always with these things, I saw many, many folks that I know from all over the company.

Many folks came by to talk about Sam and tell us where they’d put their SamStones. I have to admit that I wasn’t feeling very social tonight.. I didn’t run around talking to everyone. I was content to stand pretty still and see who came by. We didn’t eat or drink much.. and drifted back up to the room around 10. The guys were here half asleep and watching TV.. they looked pretty peaceful.. Now it’s time for us all to get some sleep.. I’ll give more details of the meeting tomorrow.

G’nite everyone.. g’nite Sam..

 

-me

 

 

 

Mother’s day.. We had all been thinking about this day for months… dreading it even .  As it turned out, it was a fine day. There were tears, sure.. but there are tears every day. Diane and I talked about how the anticipation before an event like today often seems to be worse than the event itself. Diane was well cared for today… everyone who knows her knows that she is a wonderful mother.. and a wonderful person.. for the  last several days she’s been getting cards, calls, visits and packages from friends all over the place sending her love and support.. it helped so much.

    We began our day with a big crepe breakfast. 

We lit the candle we always light to invite Sam into family celebrations and dug in.

The hats in this picture came from   Scott and Mary who found them in an abandoned Chinese themed amusement park in Florida this week. 

     Just as we were finishing breakfast Avery showed up. Followed soon by Nate, Hannah, Ian, Matt, and Sumner. The kids had come up with a plan to visit Diane around lunchtime… our breakfast time… They even brought lunch with them.. It was a really nice surprise for Diane.   Gabe then lead Diane and the rest of us up to the bell tower. He told Diane that her traditional Mother’s day flowers were up there.. When she got up there, there were just two little potted flowers.. Gabe then told her to look out the window.. Gabe  had arranged all the annuals we’d bought  yesterday into a heart on the front lawn.. Here’s what it looked like from 55 feet up …

  Max made Diane a very cool rainbow prism which hangs on a lien covered with beads in the color of the Chakra’s. I welded her three small birds that spell out ‘MOM’ . 

    The rest of the day was really laid back.. lots of friends came by to give Diane a hug and hang out with us.. it was great having so many folks filtering in and out.

Norine’s came by after her studendts piano recital. It was deadicated to Sam.. here’s soem fo the cake..

 

Diane got some time in the garden which was her wish for the day. We all spent most of the day outside which was wonderful.

Around 7:30 we all went up to the Townsends for Hannah and Matt’s 15^th birthday..   We stopped at Bolton to get Ralhps hat.. there’s still snow up there !

Dinne at the Towwnsends was great ! Yet another party !.. Deb had made some hand filled cannoli’s in lieu of a birthday cake.. yum !

   Around 10 Gabe, Max, Scott and Mary went off to see Spiderman.. while Diane and I zoomed home to begin frantically packing for our trip tomorrow. The four of us are going  to an IBM thingy in San Diego for several days. It’s not usually for kids.. but we all wanted to stuck together.. and IBM’s been really accommodating. After San Diego we’re stopping in Kansas to see our niece Elizabeth graduate from nursing school. Scott and Mary are going to stay here and look after Chai…

Well.. we have to wake up in 4 hours… so I better pretend to get some sleep.. Happy Mother’s day to all you mother’s out there. Hug those kids tightly.. And thanks to all of you who have been sending Diane love  for the last couple of days.. it really, really helped.

I love you Diane Mariano.. you are such a wonderful Mom…   This pictures from a mtoehr/so dance several years ago..  I love both of those smiles !

 

-jc

Happy Mohter’s day also to my mom, Judy and Diane’s mom Marcia 

Ps. Being outside today was very healing for us.. it always is. Wise friend Homer turned me on to this poem  by  Wendell Berry on the subject of the peace we get when outside.. I really love it.. here it is..

 
The Peace of Wild Things

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

 

What a beautiful day… I  managed to stay outside nearly the entire day. I began the morning by starting the long process of getting the pool  ready.. As I sat there elbows deep in the icy water, it was hard to believe that in a few short weeks kids would be splashing around in the pool. Diane bought a a new sand filter.. and I spend many hours staring ant the users manual trying to figure out which hose led where and why. I think  I’m happiest when I’m halfway through a complicated project like that.   

   As we worked on the pool , Jen and Deb stacked carloads of junque on tables in our front yard as part of the town wide garage sale.. I’m proud to say that I did not buy a single thing today..  

    There was a steady stream of people coming through the house today.. some came to tell Diane that they were thinking of her as mother’s day approached.. others came to kibbutz at the garage sale.. and still others came to play music.. there were several bands practicing in the barn.. while various groupies, roadies and other hanger’s on  played video games, hung out on the steps, cooked, etc. I absolutely love that our house has become a music destination for everyone.. it makes the place so alive.. what’s even better is that all the bands that are currently using the place are really good. Black Night Vengeance had a live gig tonight at the Oddfellows hall  in Burlington. Max is there.. I can’t wait to hear how it went.  Here’s Nate playing Sam’s guitar.

    At late morning, Max, Gabe and I ran a pre-mother’s day errand at the nursery.. it was fun doing this yearly ritual.. though we really missed Sam.. I felt him right there with us.

As soon as we were back from the nursery we had to leave for Lacrosse.. a bunch of the kids around the house decided  to go with us.. we all piled into two cars and headed for Essex.   Gabe’s team won one, lost one and tied one. Gabe had a good day.. he scored 4 goals.. he looked like he was having fun out there . I had fun doing absolutely nothing lying there in the gorgeous sunshine.. what a life.

Marie

Here’s Ian

Trevor

Matt

Nate

   I came home just a bit early to finish up the pool. I had ot let some glue joints dry so I helped Marie paractice for her chemestry class project on Monday using Liguid nitrogen,

After that, I started working on a mothers day project for Diane.. Welding is one of the most therapeutic activities I know of.. by the time I was finished I was completely relaxed..  The kids were all off at friends so Diane and I had a quiet Indian dinner by ourselves..    

    Diane reminded me that we had to check our genetic results online. Last fall we both gave cheek cell samples as part of the Genographic project which National Geographic  and IBM are cosponsoring. We typed in the serial numbers of each of our kits. Diane’s analysis had been run on her mitochondrial DNA  which shows her maternal genetic line through history  (women can do either nuclear of mitochondrial DNA, men can just do nuclear). Her data showed that she was of haplogroup U which makes up about 10 % of people in southern Europe and the mideast  as well as some groups in Scandinavia.   It’s also very high in the ‘Roma’ or gypsy groups.. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haplogroup_U_(mtDNA))   This is pretty interesting becaue Diane’s mother’s family is German/English from all anyone knows..  I think Diane’s mom Marcia is going to find this pretty interesting !  Here’s a map of Diane’s female ancestors.

 
    I was haplogroup J2.. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y-chromosomal_Aaron)  which is a common marker among Ashkenazik Jews like me. In fact,  I read that the J haplogroup is one of the markers of the Cohanim.. the Jewish High priest caste.. and the source of my last name.. Cohn == Cohen = Priest in Hebrew..   What this tet says is that my name does in fact come from my family caste over 5000 years ago.. pretty cool, no ?  Here’s my map.. and a short part of my gene map

   Yikes.. it’s late. I need to go get my sleep. I’ve promised to be Diane’s gardening slave tomorrow in honor of mother’s day.. Oh Mother’s day.. this is going to be bittersweet..    Please send Diane your love tomorrow.. it really helps.. Sam, we’ll be thinking of you !

-dad

 ps. for those of you who might be interested. this blog just had it’s 50,000th viewing this evening.

I took it very easy today. I had to to take my car in for servicing .. so I drove to the Toyota place an took my early meeting’s outside in the sun while my car was getting it’s manicure.. It was pretty peaceful working up in the small grassy plot above the car dealership.. no-one knew where I was.. it was quiet., the sun was shining.. work should always be like this. When  my car was ready to go , I went to the window to pay  and the woman their asked me if I knew Sam. She asked because of the Sam pin I was wearing. I told her I was Sam’s father.. and she told me all of the connections she had  to Sam. This happens to me all the time.. everywhere I go, people know Sam’s story.. I like seeing that.

    I had a lunch meeting with Julie, my time management coach…even as  don’t laugh.. I am a million times better about time management now than before I began working with her. .I was telling Julie how hard I was working trying to come up with ‘my next plan’.. ie/ what’s my plan for directing my life after the lessons I’ve learned from Sam’s passing. Her questions  lead me to one of those ah-ha moments when I realized  that it isn’t necessarily about ‘working hard’ .. it’s about being open to the inspiration which will come after putting your intentions out there in the world.. Dian has been saying this to me in a loving way for months.. I’ve been trying to really hear that… but what I think sunk in today was that it’s really OK for me to take it easy and wait for inspiration that will come.. rather than  felling guilty that I’m not being more productive more directed  now. I’ve been working my tail off for nearly 30 years so I have come to associate leisure or rest or ‘taking it easy’  with guilt and laziness .    I thin I just understood that that was stupid.. or certainly stupid right now.. I always remember one really memorable conversation with Sam where he was really trying to understand why I felt I needed to always work so hard. I know this sounds   I think Sam’s message really sunk in today.. I even wrote it on my ‘Palm pilot’

 

      After lunch I went and picked up some Liquid nitrogen at Huan welding for a friend’s science project.. then I met my friends Paul and Mark at Mexacali for a work meeting and a beer.. Now that’s a good workday

.. After that meeting I headed out to Homers to play with the new robot router.. It’s so very cool. Homer was using it to cut out lettering I plastic. I

t was amazing to watch it work. We plan to reinforce the table and then give it to MMU for use in the wood shop. It’s so cool to watch it run . I think the kids at school are really going to love it.

    By the time I got home, Sam’s old band, Black Night Vengeance was at the house practicing.. Aren’t they just lovely lads…

   Shortly after  that m  Diane and I headed over to Sumner’s to pick up  a passel  of kids to take them to see Spiderman.. It’s a longggggggggggggg movie.. and pretty good. It got a little confusing.. but during the confusing parts, I thought of Sam..

    Right now.. I’m thinking of going to sleep. G’nite all !

 

-jc