I got an early start today.. I had an early-for-me 8AM meeting.. so I went out for a run around 6:30. I noticed the ferns along the river shore trail had grown about 6 inches since yesterday. The woods are exploding with life. I could help but be lifted by it As always, I stopped at my midway point to say ‘hi’ to Sam and draw his name in the mud.. Today I found a cute slug on the ground that kindly offered to form the crossbar on the letter ‘A’ in Sam’s name…  

    Chai and I ran back to the beach where the Huntington meets the Winooski. . That’s  where I usually do a little yoga stretching before going home. .. It was hot this morning, summer hot. (I stop functioning over 60 degrees).. so I was pretty  miserable by the time I turned around to go back home.  Chai dove right into the Huntington.. it looked like fun.. so I did too. I splashed across the river.. I got halfway across before I started to loose the feeling in my toes.. it was wonderfully cold. I though of how many times we’d come down here with the boys to splash around.. Sam, Gabe and I tubed down the Huntington from the gorge last summer.. it was a hoot…

   I got to work by 8 to help start the last day of the three day meeting I’ve been attending.. it was a relatively quite close to a pretty exciting set of technical discussions. I found the meetings really ejuvenating.. I think we figured out some good  stuff. I certainly learned a bunch and I really, really enjoyed working with this group of people.   .. I think we mapped out a way to keep working together for the next couple of years.

    I got home around 6 just in  time to catch men’s yoga with Diane.. she teaches a men’s yoga class on Thursdays now… she takes it much easier on us flexibly challenged folks than she does in her normal Monday afternoon class.. only 2 downward dogs tonight.. thank goodness.

    I came into the house after yoga to find a beautiful surprise. Our good friend Coco had sent us a painting she’d done from a picture of Sam.   The picture is of Sam as ‘Wonderboy’ in a skit at camp Abenaki last summer. I love the picture…. The painting is beautiful.. here’s a view of it and the original picture.. amazing.. I cried when I saw it..

Here’s the original photo

   The four of us had a nice quiet dinner… which doesn’t  happen very often.. it’s unusual to just have us in the house. After dinner Diane ushered me into the mudroom to show me  the latest home improvement.. evindently the chewing sound I’vc been hearing the last few nights has been a rat wth redecorating ideas.. here’s the nice picture window he/she has gnawed in the floor.. Note the poor thing had to chew through the carpet to do this. Now that’s industrious..

   I, on the other hand, am not feeling the least bit industrious.. I’m going to bed.. what do you think of that, Sam ?

-jc

ps. I hear the Rat again !

Note.. I accidently had ‘Browse like a Pirate’ on when I went in to edit this entry.. somehow it piratized my writing. I started to undo it.. but it was funny.. so I’m leaving it.. I hope you all can figure out what I said 🙂

Avast! How are you ?’… I hear it at least 20 times every day.. not ‘how are you’ but ‘how are you’.. I hear the distinct accent on the word  ‘are’ which tells me that someone be askin’ me a real questin’.. not just making  the friendly, mechanical greetin’ I’ve always heard… You may remember early ‘n this blog that I used t’ really struggle when someone asked me how I was.. now I have come t’ really appreciate that extra questin’ which be hidden ‘n the italics  The emphasis on the word ‘are’ that means that they care enough t’ really wonder/worry ’bout how I an’ me family are doin’.. That little bit lifts me every time I hear it…

Yarrr!     I was just outside helpin’ Diane move our fountain back out into the back garden. As we wrestled with the heavy thin’ Diane remarked on the beautiful flowers that had sprouted ‘n the garden. She told me that the lass had not planted them.. it means that one  of our hearties must have come over an’ planted them ‘n anticipatin’ o’ how it would lift our spirits on a day like today… I even think I saw someone do it.. but I can’t remember who it was through the fog o’ those first few weeks.  It’s these kindnesses that allow us  to get through our days…

Blimey!      Tonight was a welcome peaceful evenin’.. Not much happenin’.. not much t’ do. Our matey Eric was over fer  dinner which was a treat.. In honor o’ Eric’s visit, Diane had made Gabe’s favorite cheeseburger burritos… with vegi versions fer us..  Eric  and gabe are still zoomin’ ’round outside an’ ’tis almost 10PM.. It’s great t’ see them goofin’ ’round. Simple pleasures …

Ahoy!

Harrr!     Speakin’ o’ simple pleasures… I’m ’bout t’ take a bath.. I just almost dropped me laptop ‘n the half full (I’m an optimist) tub… I take that as a sign that that’s enough writin’ fer tonight…

Aye aye!    How are you all tonight ? How are you Sam ?

-jc

Ps. I saw this bumper sticker today.. o’ course it made me think o’ our Sam.

Not much to report today.. I woke early and took Chai for a run.. I really felt Sam out there today.   I got to work on the early side to kick of a 3 day meeting I’ve helped pull together at work. I was really worried about how the meeting would go.. It involves quite a few very bright and very opinionated people. Today was really interesting and.. in a weird day-job kind of way.. really fun. We won’t know for a day or so if we have accomplished our main goals.. but for now.. I was happy. It felt good spending a day staring at a set of complicated technical issues.  We only broke once during the day to get lunch… That’s where I took this stunning photo of me and Vickie.. the queen of the IBM lunchroom. She knows everything about everyone.. I think she can read minds, too.

    After lunch it was back to the meeting for the rest of the day. We worked until about 6 then quit. I had invited the whole gang to come over to the house for dinner tonight.. as  I left work to pick up pizzas for dinner a strong wave of sadness   came over me..   I’d been thinking so hard about work today that I didn’t have time to think of much else all day.  At the first quiet moment I had.. a days worth of backed up sadness caught up with me. The lesson to myself here is to make time at lunch or other times to take a walk and service some of this pent up grief before it builds up..

Anyway.. I made it home about 7 at the same time that about 25 of my friends showed up..

It was really nice having all these folks over. Many of them are close friends of mine who are in town for this meeting. The last time they were all in the house was at Sam’s viewing. It was fun having them all together at the house for a much happier occasion.. The evening was quiet and upbeat .. and passed very quickly… my friend Pete showed up near the end and entertained us with some very fine fiddle playing.. Thanks Pete !

   I can hardly keep my eyes open right now.. gotta catch some sleep before an early morning resume of the meetings tomorrow morning. Gnite all.. gnite Sam..

-jc

ps. Max was goofing around with the swap colors feature on my camera and came up with the following picture of our house.. The pattern comes from shadows a tree casts on out house. Pretty freaky.. no ?

 

   This has got to be a very short post tonight.. I’m helping host a 3 day work meeting the next couple of days and I need to get my beauty rest.   Really not much to report today.. I am working hard to  manage my stress level at work by letting people know what I can and cannot handle in my current state of mind.  It seems to be  working well. When I explain to people what I’m capable of doing.. they always seem to understand.  I’m finding that folks are willing to help me get things done…  I’ve never been very good at delegating.. but there’s no time like the present.. now there’s an interesting expression.. there literally is ‘no time like the present’ .

   Outside of work., the day had it’s ups and downs. .it was another absolutely beautiful day.. I took advantage of it this morning to take Chi for a run in the woods. The ground is still a little mushy.. but it’s dry enough to run. I took my normal snowshoe loop but this time it was covered with new flowers and ferns. It could not have been more beautiful. The steep trails back there remind me how out-of shape I get in the winter time.

   I managed to get outside a few times during my work day as well. First I went to lunch with my buddy Paul.. then I took a walk with my friend Jen after lunch .. I find that  being outside in this beautiful weather makes me feel closer to Sam .

   I got home just in time to join Diane’s 6PM yoga class.. as always it was great to go from a hectic work day into a demanding yoga class.. I tell you.. I feel like a wimp next to some of those women in the class.. I always leave the class sore but relaxed…

After yoga, Ma x and Gabe headed into our friend Dan’s apartment to cook dinner.. Diane and I celebrated by eating cauliflower and tofu.. two things the kids would never touch.. it felt like we were getting away with something.

  After inner we got a call from Corporal Covert from the Florida Highway Patrol..  Corporal Covert is handling the investigation around Sam’s accident.. We’ve been waiting several months to get closure  on the accident report. Corporal Covert basically confirmed what we already pretty much knew. There was no outside reasons apparent for Sam’s accident. There was no indication of a malfunction of the crossing signals, there was o indication of excessive speed.. and the driver of the car had the right of way and was not impaired in any way. It’s hard to explain how this information affected me.. In one way.. it was only confirming what I already knew.. in another way it was comforting to finally get some closure on the details.. In a completely different way.. it was so difficult to be on the phone talking in a matter-of-fact way about the details of Sam’s death. It was very hard for me to keep it together.   In the end.. the details of Sam’s accident lined up with every thing else about his death.. no complications no loose ends.. it seems he was ready to go.. we can’t help thinking he had had to leave us for a reason.. if only we knew what it was…

   Oh Sam… we love you..

-dad

 
ps. Kerry B sent me the following picture from lacrosse. Each of the boys on Sam’s old team are carrying Sam’s number ’10’ on their helmets..   We love that..