Ever since Sam died I’ve been more aware of connections.. connections in events, in associations and in people. Today was absolutely full  of connections. It started in a normal groove. I had to work at home this morning because we have a car in the shop. Diane took Max to work in Shelburne while I got Gabe to school. Oooops, we both forgot his geography project so I had to turn right back around and deliver it to school. Here’s Gabe’s teacher  Ralph from planet Tryfamedor) holding the project.

Luckily the school, like everyone else   is giving us  lot of slack

   I got home and immediately started working with my friends in Austin on prep for a big meeting we had this morning. We’d all been sweating how this would go.. and lie all things. The event itself was much better than the pre-worries about it. it was actually a very good meeting.. I was very  proud of our team…that put me in a pretty good wor mood which allowed me to motor through this morning’s meetings.

   My only face to face meeting I had afternoon  was with two profs and the dean  at Champlain College. The meeting had been se up by my friend Marion weeks ago..  One funny sidebar is that a half hour before the meeting I was frantically waiting for Diane to come home with a car to let me get to my meeting on time.. it took me about 15 minutes of pacing to realize that I had a car… .. not only that I’d just parked it. This is an indication of how spacey I’ve become since Sam’s passing… Anyway, the folks at Champlain have a really, really, REALLY cool academic program around video gaming and it’s application to society. I was extremely impressed with the vision and energy that these folks had to this emerging technology. It was so cool to see how they’ve built up this program from nothing to a nationally recognized degree program in such a  short time.. We had so much fun brainstorming on how to use gaming and related technology as a tool for teaching, and as a force for social good.  We spent a bunch of time talking on how we can best use video game to interest kids.. in math. Science and technology.  I left the meeting absolutely  jazzed and certain  that some level of collaboration with these folks was in my near future.  I was so surprised to find this sort of program.. and these sorts of thinkers virtually in my back yard…  It was an amazing connection .. much too strong to be a pure coincidence..  I forgot to take pictures of them.. but I did find this very Nifty S-am artifact on the road outside their offices

    After work today I headed to Advanced Music to meet Meghan G and her dad. Meghan is the winner of the first annual Sam Cohn Musical Soul award. She’d picked out a killer Schecter electric guitar for herself with a beautiful swirl finish and liberty star inlay.  (Sam played a Schecter, too)

The folks at Advanced gave us a generous  deal on the guitar and case.. which we really appreciated. I could tell that Meghan was the perfect recipient of this first guitar.. she was wearing not 1 but 2 guitar picks around her neck.

She was the only student who was nominated by multiple people in the contest.  And getting to know her.. I understand why. She’s totally committed to playing and songwriting..  One  other  amazing thing is that Meghan and I were talking about her wish to get a tattoo just like the liberty star on the inlay,  Just as we were talking, my friend and neighbor Kyle who works at advanced came over to talk to us.. here’s the tat he has on his leg.. (queue the twilight zone music)..

The whole experience with Meghan and her dad was wonderful.. and sad in a way you can probably imagine.. I cried some.. but mostly I was very, very happy…

   At that ppint is was after 6 so I decided to walk around downtown Burlington  and so some birthday shopping for Gabe and Max’s birthdays.  I kept running in to folks I knew.. and kept getting hugs from folks..  It was nice and surprising considering I live nearly 20 miles away  .. First I ran into my friend Bruce A. who I hadn’t seen in several years. Bruce and I used to share an office about 20 years ago.. he didn’t know about Sam.. so we had that conversation.. which branched into other parts of life. Bruce is getting married this weekend.. which is very cool. It was great to reconnect.

A bit later  I ran into  my friend Susan.. Susan might well have been  Vermont‘s first lady If the last governors election had gone a little better. Her husband and my friend Scudder was the leading opposition for the VT Governors election. Seeing Susan gave me an idea.. our close mutual friend Sandy and I grew up and graduated high school together in Houston., TX.  Sandy is leaving for Houston early, early tomorrow morning to go to our 30^th  high school reunion .. hard to believe. I was tempted to go.. but Gabe’s birthday is this weekend.. and that’s far more important to me now.   Anyway.. I wanted to get some  SamStones to Sandy to take to the reunion.. but I spaced out and forgot to send them. Susan lives  Middlesex near Sandy.. and offered to take them to her tonight.. Serendipity again !

   After a little shopping, I was starving.. so I headed to Moe’s  burritos. In S. Burlington.   I wanted to see if Mary.. our house mate, was working..(She wasn’t) I felt like I was being disloyal to my favorite Mex place, Mexacali.. but I have to admit Moe’s was very very good.   While there I ran into our friend Bister and his friends Owen and Vanessa..

Bister and Owen are both straightedge.. meaning no drugs or alcohol.. and they got themselves inked to prove it..

   They are also opening up a vegan restaurant in Burlington pretty soon.   They’d just gotten back from an  animal rights rally in Boston.. I love that these guys are being socially active.

   From there I headed to Williston t o meet Diane, Gabe and three of  his friends for a movie. The movie didn’t start until 8:30.. so I had some time to spare. I wandered into Mexecali with Moe’s burritos on my breath.. Do you think they could tell ?   I love Mexecali because all the folks who work there know me and know what I like. My favorite beer was poured for me before I’d even settled into my seat. Even though I was only there for about 15 minutes I ran into a bunch of people I knew.. Here’s my friends Niten and Erica from work.. they’d never met…

And here’s a ‘lady’s night out group  with Erica and my friends Julie and Lamiaa. Very comfortable there..

   Diane and the kids shoewd up around 8:20 . We ran into my firend Ron, Dave and Xand freinds/ Ron and I went to MIT together.. Dave and X (shoot.. X = .. begins with a B.. I’m so spacey) are our frind Bazz’s mom and step dad

then we headed into 3 hours of Johnny Depp and the rest of the pirates.

I really liked the movie.. which meant I only slept for 15 min.. That guy with the squid face makes me want to dred my beard…

2AM and I have a full day tomorrow. I’d better go.. G’nite mateys

-me

ps/ I forgot to mention another important connection from today. David P., one of the Chaplain’s from All Childerens Hospital in FL called today to check on us. All Childeren;s is where they took our Sam after his accident. Wetalked for about 20 minutes about how we were ding, our healing path and life in general.  I offered to to let them give my name to anyone who finds htem selves in the terrible situation we found ourselves.. and who needs to talk.  I think doing this is now part of my Dharma.  It meant so much to me that he reached out to us after nearly 7 months.  I will never forget how kindly that David and the rest of the staff  at All Childeren’s treated us. Tahnk you

Today was kind of special. We had a short celebration of the release of one of IBM’s high-end servers that’d I’d worked on for several years. It’s always a great day when something we’ve worked on for so long actually gets shipped out the door. Several senior managers  made a special trip to Burlington to say thanks to the  team for all of their hard work.    The celebration itself was good. It’s nice to hear folks say that the stuff we’ve worked so hard on is going to make an impact on the company.. and maybe even the world. There was a part of the presentation where several of the more senior managers got up  on stage and started  to  sing a mangled version of a Billy Joel song (no accounting for taste) . I actually dodged the chance to get up there and make a fool of myself.. I must be slipping  The old John Cohn would never have passed up an opportunity to act like a goofball in front of a large crowd

   My boss, John. Was one of the exec that came up for the day. I got to spend some very good 1:1 time with him talking about work life and how my family and I  are  doing. Again my bosses are being so understanding of my situation.. I really appreciate it (And I’m not just saying that because you may be reading this, John J )    I found a sign today at work and began wearing it around to let folks know that I’m still not back up to full capacity…   II think the sign is working.: no one used any big words on me today J

 

Immediately after work I had a Jolts and Volts show at Camels Hump Middle School . I made a quick stop on the way home because I was starving.. I happened across this piece of chocolate in the store which happens to be in the shape of the state of Vermont. 

Now that’s strange.. It was stranger still for me to buy, let alone eat a full chocolate  bar.. I think my age must be regressing.

 

     I finally got to Camels Hump school tonight about 5:30.. It was funny walking around the middle school. All three boys went here.. Gabe’s in his first year.. I walked by my friend and school secretary Betsy S’s desk looking for a phone book and found a SamStone

 

 Tonight  Science’s  show was for is was a mixed group of 4H kids and cub scouts. It was a very good crowd.. very engaged and curious. I always dedicate my shows these days to Sam.. which gives me the strength to get going.. Once I’m going , it just sort of flows.  Doing this sort of outreach continues to  be my highest and best callings. 

 

It was about 8PM when I finished my show.. My friend Jim was in town so I went to Mexacali to meet him for a beer.. He and I stopped in BestBuy to do a little birthday shopping for Gabe (he turns “12 on June 9^th. While there I ran into Chris, Jake and Mikey. Note that Mickey is wearing a very fashionable hat made out of aluminum foil. He says it keeps the evil rays out of his brain… excellent idea!

   Talking with Jim at Mexicali was fun.. I always feel so welcome there.. They already know what I’m going to order and what I’m going to drink. They treat me well as a regular.. For example.. they gave me a straw to use to write Sam’s name in my cup of hot sauce. What more could I ask ?

    Well.. I’m going to try and do some reading before bed… I’ve got a stack of about six books I’m more tan halfway through.. so many folks have given me some thing to read… My friend Ivy sent me a poem today that reminds me of that

 

Lending Out Books – by Hal Sirowitz

You’re always giving, my therapist said.
You have to learn how to take. Whenever
you meet a woman, the first thing you do
is lend her your books. You think she’ll
have to see you again in order to return them.
But what happens is, she doesn’t have the time
to read them, & she’s afraid if she sees you again
you’ll expect her to talk about them, & will
want to lend her even more. So she
cancels the date. You end up losing
a lot of books. You should borrow hers.

 

 Sleep well everyone.. sleep well Sam.

 

-jc

 

 

I woke early this morning after only four hours sleep. Since one of our cars is in the shop, I’d arranged to hitch a ride in with my buddy Ed… who was picking me up at 7AM.. I had to get in early because I was the kick-off speaker for this years crop of IBM summer interns/.  I really love doing this talk every year. It’s so energizing to talk to a bunch of folks who are at the very beginning of there careers.. They’re so eager and passionate and smart…   I usually give a light hearted talk whish is 30 percent codgerly career advice, 30 percent technical stuff about my area at work.. and about 30 percent science demo’s drawn from the programs I do at schools. The idea is to show these kids that IBM really values outreach..   This is the first time I’ve had to give a talk like this since Sam died.  I got very choked up when I was talking about my wonderful family. I could tell that Sam’s story had a big impact on the audience…. I used Sam’s story to tell them how much I appreciated all that the company had done for me and my family through this difficult time.. I told them that you could really see the company’s character in how they responded to a tragedy like ours..

   It was an interesting transition going from that story to blowing things up, catching things on fire and blasting sparks through the room with all my science gizmos..    I think the audience liked that part of the talk the best…  I had about half of them still hanging around when the meeting was over just to talk.. they were a big help in putting my gear away and cleaning up.. I’d managed to cover a bog  swatch of floor with crushed rice crispies.. yum…

The rest of the day was jam-packed busy but overall uneventful. Back to back phone meetings… At the very end of the day I had the lucky opportunity to meet up with a new friend of mine Craig L. .I’ve written about Craig here before.. Craig and his family’s dagter Amelia was killed in 2004 in a gas explosion t their summer house Craig has put together a group called “fathers Forever’ for men who have lost  children. Craig happened to be up for business.. so we took a walk around the building then did a zillion laps around the parking garage.. It is very helpful for me to talk to someone who share the common experience of grief. So much doesn’t need to be explained. Craig’s insights are really helpful to me.. really, really helpful. I plan on meeting with the Fathers Forever gang next time I’m in Boston.

Around 5:30 Scott, Mary, Mason and Gabe came by IBM to puck me up.. . I rarely get to be the passenger.. .We ended up watching Wayne’s World (excellent, party time) in the car as Scott drove us home  It was so nice out when we got home that we couldn’t go back inside, instead we went out back to play Frisbee . I found a SamStone in the process.

while Max started the grill and cooked some  chicken and fish ‘speedies’ which are marinated meat chinks. They were very popular in Diane’s home town of Endicott NY.  Just as Max took the chicken off the grill, the grill collapsed.. I’m really glad that Max wasn’t hurt when it went..

Unfortunately the fish was still in there. It got  completely covered with ashes.. We took it out and rinsed it and it was better than ever. it had some of that smoky flavor all through it… Good recovery. !  Though we were expecting 5-6 for dinner, we ended up with 10 when Sam’s old band Black Night Vengeance showed up.. It worked out well.. we had tons of food.. it was like an unplanned party… with some really nice guests.. .

Later this evening I got a call from my good  friend Larry from CMU. Larry is at  the Design Automation Conference (DAC)  in San Diego this week. Tonight was the annual Carnegie Mellon U.  reunion . Larry had arraigned to  call me from the party and let me talk to some of my friends. Larry’s daughter Hannah took some cell phone photos of the part so I wouldn’t feel so lonely.

I talked to about 15 very good friends . Many I hadn’t spoken with since Sam’s death. It was both good and hard talking to all those good friends over the phone like that .. So much emotion. And so much distance..  Overall it was very good to connect.  I could tell that our family was very much in everyone’s minds.   

   Every year, the group hires some sort of interesting entertainment for the reception. It was at this same party about 3 years go that the palm reader that the group had hired asked me if I’d lost a child… I wrote about that incident about 4 months ago in this blog.  Tonight they had hired a handwriting analyst.. I sent the following samples…

Here are a few things that she could surmise from my very messy handwriting..

• I’m compassionate, intuitive and willing to take risks
• But I’m doing some of the same old things over and over again…  something doesn’t feel right.. it’s not the right size, it’s not fitting.
• I’m looking back too much. I need to  move forward.. I need to do this in some creative way unhampered by the past
• I’ve got all the info I need.. but I feel the need to keep checking and rechecking. I’m too hung up that things need to be a certain way.. I’m being too ‘persnickety’
• In a month or so, I’ll come in contact with someone who can help me figure out what to do
• I’ve got angels working with me on this transition who are helping me open up to my own creativity
• I need to take a break or vacation sometime in the beginning of September or so… to relax in order to open the door
• I should plan a big trip  in early October (I’m going to India again then)
• By the end of this year, early next year I’ll be meeting many folks who are on the same wavelength as I am. I should look out for an older mentor.. not a relative…
• I should not be trying so hard to change right now.. I should let things transition on their own. I should open myself up to it and let it come.
• Even though I feel I missed the boat (?) something even bigger and better is coming along.. maybe next may ?
• She drew an angel card for me which was freedom.. she said I should concentrate on finding this freedom and enjoying the freedom I have.
• She picked a chakra for me which is the green heart chakra.. which  says that  I’m to follow my heart and follow what is nurturing  in my life.. That will be my path forward

That’s surprisingly insightful and relevant to what I’m going through now.. I’m learning not to be amazed anymore when something like this happens.  What do you think Sam ?

Friends…
    I hope that you will allow me a very short posting for tonight. I just got home (It’s 2AM) afte a really, really, really great Dark Star Orchestra concert that I went to with Max and Jessie. Gary and Forrest graciously drove me home while Max toook jessie home. Dark Star is a greatful dead cover band that plays entire greatful dead shows note fro note…(including mistakes). Tonight they played a show from Chicago in June of 1976 ..they were fantastic.

As always.. live miusic has a great healing power for me.. I had had a very low day.. Mondays seem to be like that pretty often .. I was hardly able to work..
 I came home a little early to catch Diane’s Yoga class that had ben moved a little earlier today. Yoga made my day infinetly better..

 then we went to CHMS to hear Gabe in is end of year concert. He had a good drum solo which was fun..

 After that Max and I went to Higher ground and I picked up our ticket.. I was even able to score one additional ticket for Jessise . Turned out that I bayght the very last ticket.. The show was sold out.. and it was compely packed… Once again as I moved through the crowd several folks came up to me to talk abotu Sam. I just love the supty er get form out commnity.. zI can’t imagine where we’d be with out it…
   Well. right now the support I need is a bed.. I only have about 4 hours to sleep. I have a very ealry morning meeting… Gnite all.. and once again.. sorry for the very short post..
-me

Ps. My firend Dan jsut sent me pictures of the SamStone he placed in Wailing Wall  in Jerusalem.. That’s a very special place for a SamStone.. lots of historey.. lots of meaning. I really appreciate San and his famly’s help here.

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