Sitting here on the couch with Diane, drinking SAMbuca, and enjoying a rare moment of peace. Our house is always full of people at this point. We have 4-8 extra people staying here as part of the Voices movie. We love the activity though it sometimes seems like we’re running a hotel. 

    The peace tonight fits with the  pattern of the whole day… I’m happy to say that almost nothing of any importance happened today..  I can’t begin to describe just how nice that is for me now and then.   Gabe’s at camp, Max was at work on the movie. I went to work, came home, took Diane’s yoga class and helped fix dinner for the 5 or 6 kids that were hanging around the house..

That’s it.  It would almost feel normal if our lives weren’t so fundamentally turned inside out…  Oh Sam……

   One interesting thing I was thinking about today was the effect that this blog has on my life.  3 times in the last 24 hours.  I’ve been talking with someone and they surprise me by knowing everything I’d been up too.. though I hadn’t seen them in nearly a month.. For example.. my friend Vicki at the cafeteria asked me if the food I’d grabbed was vegan.. For a minute I couldn’t figure out how she’d known about that since I hadn’t seen here since before the 4^th…

Vicki has a SamStone on her register !

Or our friend Cody showed up at the house tonight and dropped into a conversation about stuff going on in our lives.. even though I hadn’t spoken with him really since last fall.  It’s such a funny asymmetric form of communication.. I don’t know what anyone else is up too, yet everyone knows everything I’ve been up to.  It’s kind of like being an exhibitionist.. but for a good reason.. (I think ) .

 

 On a related topic, I spent about 20 minutes responding to a questionnaire on Grieving and Healing from  team at the University of Ultrecht in the Netherlands.. not sure how they  found me, but they’re  doing research on what seems to help individuals coping with devastating loss.  This is the 2^nd survey I’ve done for them.. and this one devoted a large part to the role that the internet plays in healing., There were many questions about the use of grieving chat rooms and resource sites.. but none about the power of blogging and other social networking sites like MySpace or FaceBook.   I was able to point them at some of the stuff we’re doing with MySpace.. and the SamStones.org web site. I hope that somehow working with these folks will  allow us to share what’s ‘working’ for us with others.

   Well. That’s all I have for tonight.. like I said.. not much happened today.. and I’m so glad !  Gnite all.. gnite Sam !

 

-jc

 

 

ps. I’ve just learned of two really interesting charities that I thought I’d pass along to folks.. My friend Uwe turned me on to a group called http://kiva.org . Kiva is a ‘micro-financing’ site that allows folks to help make small micro loans to folks in the developing world who need capital to build their livelihoods. It’s a really cool idea.. check it out..

 

The second is http://www.familiesinvietnam.org/    This site helps support families living in poverty in Vietnam. My friend Val adopted tow kids from Vietnam and recently quit IBM to go work for this group.. She’s over there right now working with some of the sponsored families.   She has a big heart !

We woke today to a cool rainy day. Gabe wanted to sleep as late as possible in his own bed before spending the next 2 weeks on a bunk at camp. My folks, Gabe and I left home around 10 to catch breakfast before we headed to Abnaki and my parents left for home. We ended  up at ‘On the Rise’ for breakfast. It  was great. The place was full of our friends. 

 

After a big breakfast the four of went to the playground to hang out for an hour.. by this time, the skys were clear and it was getting hot. Gabe and I played tag on the playground for old time sake it was fun in an old-slow-guy-chases-young-fast-guy  kind of way.

 

What a monkey !

Around 11 we said goodbye to my folks and got on the road to Abenaki..

Gabe was pretty excited about Camp and we talked non stop the whole way there. Gabe was helping me come up with ideas for how I can get more kids interested in science. He had some really good ideas.

 
The drive to Abnaki took about 45 minutes..

as I got close to the camp a strong mix of emotions came over mer.. I was happy for Gabe… he was really looking forward to spending the next two weeks up there.. at the same time I was going to miss him like crazy.. and then, of course.. were the memories of so many years past bringing Sam here. Sam and Gabe had planned to go together this year .. This is to be the year that Gabe receives his Nadokinac award for being at the camp for 5 years. Sam got it last year.. His name, albeit misspelled,  is on the plaque in the meeting room.

We were about the the sixth car let into the camp as they opened the gates. We checked Gabe in got him checked for lice and we headed off to his cabin.  Turns out that Tyler P. is Gabe’s cabin councilor. We could not ask for a better situation.. Tyler has been such a great friend to our family over these last 7 months.. he really knows Gabe.   Lots of Gabe’s friends are councilors this year.. Jeff D., Nicky, Rusty.. .. I know Gabe’ll be in good hands. I helped Gabe make his bed.. and said goodbye.. Gabe seemed fine and happy..

Sams frisbees were all over

Gab’es bunk

His ‘village’

His councilors

I walked into the woods and completely broke down.. I loved seeing the camp and the kids.. being there made Sam’s not being there so powerful. I took a slow tour from the chapel to the art room with Diane’s Mom’s kiln now installed ,

and the fire circle.. where the famous ‘Wonder boy’ pictures were taken.. In fact.. that picture is the centerpiece on this months Camp Abnaki calendar.   

 

I ended  up a the waterfront.. and walked out on the pier to think… I stayed there for about 30 minutes until I was together enough to drive home..  

 

By the time I got to Williston I was doing OK. I dropped by two of the big box electronic  stores trying to by a replacement computer for our now broken downstairs one. I was so frustrated by the long wait for a sales person in either store .. As I got madder.. I realized how convenient it is for me to use something like anger to switch me out of a sad mood.. I do it all the time.. not sure that’s healthy or unhealthy ..

 

By the time I’d finally made my purchase it was time for me to pick up Diane. She’d been down at Kirpalu in western MA with our friends Mark and Jeanie.   She had some great  stories of her experiences in here class  this weekend.

 

We got home and spent some time with some of the Voices kids.. then took a short walk down the Huntington. After that, we went up to Deb’s for a cookout

The Twnsends ‘pet’ chipmonk

Then back here .By that point there were quite a few of the Voices kids having a low key night off (they don’t work Mondays). It’s fun to see them relax a little.. there’s currently working 9-9 6 days a week. …

 Voices kids chilling out

OK.. gotta go now.. These next two weeks I’ll be really missing Gabe.. though I’m sure he’ll be having a great time. Sam.. I could really feel you there at camp today… I love you all

-me

 

 I woke today in the bell tower and didn’t know where I was at first.. It took me a few moments to realize that I was still in my house.. just on a different foor.

I made may way downstairs through Diane and my  room where my folks were sleeping and came down stairs. It was pretty peaceful. Eleven folks in the house.. and no one was awake at 9:30 AM.. I love it.    People started to wake up around ten..

 First order of business was to help Gabe clean the duct tape sticky off his feet.. He’d been trying to make a trampoline board for a day and was working out how to attach the board to his feet (Note to inventers:.. don’t put duct tape on your bare skin. ) I eventually had to resort to getting it off with Acetone… yuck..

   My mom and I went into town to pick up some stuff at the bakery as well as a some wire to string up Diane’s raspberry bushes.. I also got some Velcro for Gabe and Jack B. to use as improved footstraps for his tramp board. It worked great !!..  I had fun bouncing with them. 

New velcro bindings

Inside testing

We came back and got ready to take a hike. Mom, Dad and I drove with Chai up to the Safford preserve.. we took the steep brambly path up to the cliffs overlooking west white hill. It’s such a beautiful walk.. It was a beautiful day to be up there.

Our friend the garden snake

CHai takes a drink

Me and dad

Dad and mom

Me and mom

Mom and dad

Me and dad

   I  spent the rest of the afternoon puttering around the house and talking with my folks . They are struggling as we are with Sam’s passing.. It’s nice to have them up here and It’s good that they are up here to see how we’re doing.  I love them very much.

   Around 8 I went up to MMU for a short meeting about the Voices movie, then met my folks and Gabe at the park and ride on the way to Williston. We all went in to Mexicali  to grab a late dinner. Just as we ordered Max showed up which was a nice surprise. We had a really nice dinner outside..

    We came home and Gabe did a bit of last minute packing in prep for his trip to camp Abenaki tomorrow.

I’m excited for him.. and I’m going o miss him like crazy.. On of the things I did to help him get ready was to empty out his digital camera.. he had  some really great shots on his camera including some from his snowboarding trip to Oregon 2 weeks ago. I’m posting them here for folks to see.

 

Right now it’s time for bed… Diane comes home tomorrow, Gabe leaves, my folks leave.. it is going to a busy day. Gnite everyone.. gnite Sam

 

-me

 

 

 

I’m still out in California.  I’m taking a red eye tonight back to NYC then on to Burlington tomorrow morning. I’m really beat. Right now I’m at my good friend Rafe’s house near Stanford. Rafe is one of the very few folks I’ve managed to keep in touch with rom college. He’s a math professor at Stanford.. actually he’s becoming the department head. His friend Ted, a math prof from U of GA  is here visiting too.. I knew Ted when he taught at MIT. We were just realizing that the three of us have each stayed in the same job for more than 30 years .. I don’t think we’re the norm. It’s fun to reconnect with old friend like this.. Reminded me of Dylan’s ‘Tangled up in Blues.’

So now i'm goin' back again
I got to get to her somehow
All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now.
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenters wives
Don't know how it all got started
I don't know what they're doin' with their lives.
But me i'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint
We always did feel the same
We just saw it from a different point of view
Tangled up in blue.  

 
Today was pretty chill.. I had a phone meeting from 7-8, a run from 8-9ish.. I ran again with my buddy Modest (long O as in mow-dest) .. Turns out that he’s camera shy and does not want his face shown on this blog. I aim to please.. so here are some pictures from this morning’s run.

Ok.. so her’s Modest.. he says we look like Santa and his elf.. what’s with this ‘Santa’ thing ?

  We got back in time for the stat of our 3 hour meeting at the hotel.. fun but hard.. then another phone meeting..

After that.. I checked out of the hotel and went up to Palo Alto to see Rafe. It was a a perfect day.. sunny and dry.. we went out to a park on the bay and took a beautiful walk.. We talked mostly about our families. I really needed the time with him after the weeks busy meetings.  I found I was bale to put words around lots of things I’d been trying to work out for several weeks about relating to Max and Gage.. why I write this blog.. what I’m going to do with my life.. etc.. There’s such great value in talking to old friends who know you well.

I now read memorial plaques wherever I go.. they’re everywhere, really.. This one really struck me.

Rafe looking professorial

   After that we came back, met Ted and cooked a great dinner.

Rafe’s scary sideboard

I’m just about to head back to airport for my flight back I wanted to get this posted before I go.. I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone.. I’ll only get to see Diane for a half hour before she heads off to Omega.. My folks are coming up this weekend which should be fun…

   OK.. time to go..  Wish me safe travels Sam…

Love to  all..

-me