Today is… would have been ?… is… Sam’s 16th birthday. We spent the day thinking about Sam, sending him love and missing him beyond the power of words to explain.. It was a beautiful and fun and incredibly emotional day…. lots of laughs some tears.. overall it felt very good to me. I was at peace, though I missed Sam’s physical presence so much that it heart my heart and body all day…

I woke this morning and looked around the room.. and saw Sam everywhere in our room .. as I do every morning..

After I got Gabe off to school. Diane and I went up to Jen’s to paint SamStones. It was a perfect way to be with Sam.: gently stenciling his name on these stones, again and again.

Eventually, that became to much sitting for me.. I needed to be outside.. so I went for abotu a 6 mile run from Jen’s .. It was a prefect day for it..

I ran by Gillette pond

And stopped in at ‘dead beaver island’ (not really and island at all) where Sam, Gabe and I sometimes camped..

It was prefect day to sight see and just run.. Running is one of my best ways to commune with Sam..

Around 11:0 we went and picked Gabe up from school early and all went to lunch at bridge street. It was a good and important time to all be together.

We then went home and picked up the dogs and drove up to Bolton to hike the fire tower.. The place feels very connected to Sam.. so it felt so right to be there.

Gabe showed us some o f the stumps and trees in the woods that he jumps off of on his board.. eeeek.. I’m glad that I’m seeing them this way for the first time.

We made the top pretty quickly.. I had to make a snow angel !

Our main mission was to visit the fire tower.. that’s where we firstshot Sam’s ashes up in fireworks a few week after his passing.

I had drilled a hole in a SamStone and used that to mount a SamStone on the tower.

We came down and Diane planted some Forget Me Nots around the lifts..

Max and Gabe and I did another sort of forget me not..but lighting a big firework for Sam with a magnifying glass..

You got that right !

Then it was all downhill…

On the way down we saw a small memorial site for ‘Tommy’ costello

We came back home from Bolton and Diane put out Sam’s cake.. it was homemade carrot cake.. his favorite.. It was the hardest moment of the day.. We all held hands.. lit the Sam Candle and the cake, sang happy birthday. and cried.. and laughed. It’s just so weird to not have Sam here.. it was a perfect Sam day.. but no Sam.. it breaks my heart..
It shouldn’t be this way…

Around 6:30 we all headed into Williston to get dinner at Sakuras and a movie.. We ran into Hannah and Barry at Sakura’s doing exactly the same thing.> We sat there talking to them until it was time for them to leave for the movie.. (same one.. Indiana Jones).. but our food still hadn’t come.. We had to run too.. the nice folks at the restaurant offered to refund our money.. but Max had the bright idea to take us over to the movie.. then come back and pick up the food as take out..

The Indiana Jones movie was fun.. bizarre plot.. but good mindless entertainment after an intensely mindful day. Max found a crystal heart on the sidewalk as we came out of the theater. It was a nice sign.

We got home to find two nice notes.. one from Erik.. who got his drivers license today.. he’d chosen to take the test on Sam’s birthday..

And anothe rvery betiful ‘mytery note’ from who knows whom ?

It was 10:30 at night and we still hadn’t eaten.. so we dug into our now take out sushi.. yum !. Then Gabe and I went upstairs to pack for the Ottowa trip. We leave at 5:30 AM tomorrow ! (and it’s 1 now !)

OK.. That’s all for now.. Thanks everyone for taking such good care of us today..we’ve had calls. cards and emails from many friends and relatives.. It”s good that you’re thinking of us today. It really does help.

Well my son.. Happy 16th birthday.. you’ll always be part of us.. We love you so much
-dad

I was working in the shop this morning when the pone rang.. Diane answered it.. it was Deb at Richmond Elementary calling to say that she’d found my rocket ! She came in to work this morning and found the thing standing upright(!) about 10 feet in front of the school with it’s parachute out andthe embedded beeper squawking away. That makes it just under a mile flight..

I swung by there on my way to work and picked it up. They’d clipped the wire on the beeper to make the sound stop. I don’t blame them.. it was loud and scary !

It was right in front of this window.. just feet from the front door.

It was very cool getting this thing back.

One sort of funny addendum to the story came a few hours later when my fiend Kevin sent me the following link. The story begins:

Continental jet has near miss with ‘rocket’

12:39 PM CDT on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

By Jeremy Desel / 11 News

HOUSTON — Jet pilots aren’t used to sharing their airspace, so you can bet a rocket will get some attention.

Continental Flight 1544 was flying at 5,000 feet about 11 miles east ofBush Intercontinental Airport after takeoff Monday morning when thepilot called the tower to report an object headed toward the plane. Thepilot described seeing a fast moving object with a thick smoke trailnearing his airspace.

The FAA now says it thinks thatobject was some kind of model rocket. Both the FAA and the Houston AreaJoint Terrorism Task Force continue to investigate the incident thatKHOU.com first reported early this afternoon.

Neithersaid conclusively what the pilot saw was indeed a model rocket, but anFAA spokesperson told 11 News that it was likely a high-powered modelrocket. It is a federal crime to launch a rocket of any sort withoutnotifying the FAA.

The plane was at about 5,000 feet at the time of the sighting and the flight continued on to Cleveland.

That rocket must have been about the same class as this one.. maybe a bit more powerful. Maybe I should have called this one in…

Anyway.. the rest of the day was busy and preoductive.. I had a good work/lunch with friend Mark..

Then heard a great talk by my friend Ann.. Friends kerry was playing host.. It’s nice to see when friends become friends of other friends..

Around 7:30 I went by MMU and picked Gabe up from Lacrosse practice. It was the most beautiful late afternoon

Now I’m going to go off to sleep. Tomorrow is Sam’s birthday. He would have been… or is… 16 tomorrow. My mind and heart are too full of things to think of them today.. I’ll spend tomorrow doing that. The four of us and Emma are going to hike up Bolton in Sam’s honor. Oh man.. I remember just what I was doing 16 years ago at this time.. This is just so unreal….
Let tomorrow come.. I’m trying not to have any expectations. I’m thing of you Sam.. my beautiful son..
-dad

Today was Memorial day in the most real way. Today was the day we chose to publicly mark Sam’s 16th birthday. it was a happy and sad day.. Rain and sun..

It was also my parents anniversary ! (Happy A-day mom and dad !) ..

We started today cleaning up the house for the gathering tonight.. The boys went outside and started working on the boats and rafts that they were going to use to float down to the park. Gabe got a nasty surprise when he turned over our canoe and found that some enterprising squirrel had hidden a whole cache of now rotting sunflowers.. The smell was indescribable !

Max, Mason and Emma worked on re-rebuilding Max’s giant raft. It hadn’t quite made it on the last trip.. so they hammered in a few new supporting members.

Meanwhile Tim K and I worked for a half hour to rig the canoe with a proper flag holder.. which underscored what I already knew.. which is that the most time on a project will generally be spent doing the least important thing.

Put it sure looked good and piratey ! Arggggh !

The guys grabbed hte boat and rafts and walked them down to the Winooski .

Ooops.. almost stepped on this guy !

Here’s the peanut gallery watching from the bridge ..

Away goes raft’s 1 and a half…

Here’s the boat… (sorry about the haze.. I was shooting through a plastic bag at this point to protect the camera)

I climbed aboard Max’s raft…

Captain Max gave the order to weigh the anchors and set … uh… drift..

I only wanted to go as far as the Huntington. I had to get home to help prep for the gathering this evening.. I jumped off there and said good by to the flotilla.. Sam would have loved this so much. Somehow I’m sure he does still !

I tromped back through the nettles to help Diane get the house ready..

I went on a nice 3 mile run .. thinking of Sam..Sometimes when I run I talk to him… I could feel him so strongly today.. He was right there with me..

I got home around 2, showered. grabbed my rocket and headed to the park.. Max and Gabe had already made it there by boat.. and Diane went down in the other car.. we needed all the vehicles to pull back our tired sailors.

There were about 70 or so folks at the park. .. some of them were playing ultimate..

I carried the rocket around to let people draw and write on it.. just like last year.. I’d rigged up a loud beeper in it this time.. with the hopes that it might make it easy for someone to find.. .. (It has a loud ‘neeener-neeeener-neeener’ annoying warble that should last for a few days.. in case you hear it).. Anyway.. it was really strange carrying around this big rocket which was making that noise.

Britt.. what are you doing in that tree ?

Bary and ammay and there three kids came in Gary’s french fry oil powered bus

OK.. time to launch.. the rain was coming and we planned to gather at our house at 5:00.. Perfect timing !

I loaded the rocket.. this is a big ‘G’ engine one..weighing just over a pound. it goes just under a half mile high.. you’re supposed to get FAA clearance to launch one of these … but it was a quiet day so I figured it was safe..

I didn’t expect to get it back.. but you never know !

Max agreed to do the honors..

We had quite a crowd

!0-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 .. up it went witha roar.. clear out of sight . Carrying a small amount of Sam’ ashes with it…

..

At that point, it really started to rain.. everyone headed to our house.. while Max and the guys dimattled their rafts..

I got home to find a ton of cars already at our house..

I went over to say hi to Gabe… and to say ‘hi’ to Sam’s rock… .. Then I went inside.

The place was already jumping !

At one point I was lying on the floor with Chai looking at the party from a dog’s perspective..

Around 7 came the time to light the candles for Sam.. This was so hard.. we were all here having fun in Sam’s memory.. and .. he was not physically with us.. Sometimes it’s so hard for me to get my head around that.. I miss him every moment of every day.. I missed him more than ever the moment we lit those candles.. I really can’t describe how that felt.. Diane managed to get out a wonderful thanks to all of our friends for being there.. I was too choked up to say much .

I’m so glad our friends were here.

THe rain was letting up a bit at that point.. so the kids went outside and riged up a make shift ‘slip and slide’ .. They even put a jump in it !..

..

A few of the brave kids even went into the unheated pool.. the water must have been in the low 50’s …

A couple of the kids came up with the weird idea of zipping their hoodies together

They made themselves into a 10 legged thing.. here’s the view from the bottom..

… and the view from the top !

I came back inside and managed to get this shot of Wendy’s impressive sunburn….

I also wandered into a ‘piercing party’ (ewwwwww). Rj was putting an ‘industrial’ ear cartilage piercing in Abbot’s ear. It was fascinating and weird to watch.

Abbot’s only anesthesia was holding Rose’s hand.. awwwwwww.

I cane down stairs and saw that Victor and Paulo had shown up.. Victor said he had a surprise for me.. An small welding table that UVM was throwing it out.. I’d been needing one of these so baldy.. I’ve always meant to make one.. but never found the time.. it’s the perfect size for me !! What a great surprise !!!

I’ve been having trouble with stup for my cutting tourch (It’s got a hair trigger O2 adjustment) .. so Victor helped me with that , too.. he’s an expert welder and machinist !.

Back inside.. things were slowing down.. Jessie had to go.. she as wearing a little kids overcoat as a dress. and looked very stylish as always.. we all decided that she looked like Barbara Eden in the old Get Smart series.

We stuck the SamStones we’d made to dry out on the stares (I can’t find my pictures of the SamStone making.. but we went through a whole box of clay)

Some of the kids even helped us clean up and take out the recycling.. The house was soon back in better condition than before the party.. !

I wandered outside for one last check of the yard.. When I looked back, I could see the ‘See Sam’ sign we have hanging in our entry way through the window.. I wish I could See Sam.. This party was exactly the right way to mark his birthday. He would have so much wanted it this way..

Good night all our friends.. thanks so much for being there for us…
Sam.. Happy almost birthday my son.. we miss you s much.. you were very much with us in spirit today.. you will always be my party animal… I love you..
-me

Great day at home. I spent the entire day working around the house… I got one of the large rockets ready for a possible launch on Monday for Sam’s Birthday, I started the pool up, drilled holes in a few clay pots for Diane, mulched the rest of Diane’s flower beds, cleaned the 3rd floor landing, added more memory to the downstairs computer, swapped some winter and summer clothes and didn’t leave our yard until about 3. At that point I had to take Silas, Pucket and Kayla to get gas for Kayla’s car which had run out on Cochran rd. It was a day so grilled of working with my hands that my brain was completely at peace…
Diane got back from Marci’s around 6:30 and we went for a run with Chai in the beautiful late afternoon .. Gabe called as soon as we got back to tell us that Skanky Green was playing in the park. It was the ‘Rock the Earth’ concert with about 6 bands. We zoomed down there in time to hear Skanky Greens entire set of

It was great to see all the guys back together.. they’ve been spread out
all over the country.. actually the world this year.. this was their
first.. and maybe only gig for the summer.. They even played the
‘Captain Sam’ song for us !

It was also a nice reunion for the band parents.

Therew ere about 100 folks there at the park listening to all the bands.. It was great seeing everyone.. As I looked around.. I started noticing how many folks were wearing Sam shirts.. which was kind of cool.. given that this event had nothing to do with Sam or with us.. it was just what they were wearing on a late spring weekend day listening to music.. I only caught a few of them.. but take a look:

I really love our town.. I really love our friends… Gnite folks.. Gnite Sam

-jc

ps: Remember Sam’s 16th Birthday Party Memorial Day May 26, 2008

2:00-5:00 – Ultimate Frisbee pick-up games at Richmond Volunteers Green

5:00 – Potluck & Music at Mariano-Cohn’s house

Come
play Frisbee in the park or just hang out. Weather permitting; there
will be another rocket launch. Around 5:00, please join us for a
potluck dinner at the Mariano-Cohn’s house. The theme is sandwiches
and salads. We will provide bread, condiments, drinks & cake.
Please bring whatever food works for you and musical instruments, if
you wish.

Please pass it on the invitation !