Today is the calm before the storm. There are fewer visitors here today but still a steady stream. The community is taking such good care of us. We’ve had friends cooking, cleaning, repairing, coordinating.I comforting. We will never forget this.    Today our familys start filtering in and we have to help them say goodbye to Sam. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone.. I also know it’s goign to be pretty hard.
    In the midst of our sorrow.. we’re noticing some cool stuff. We feel Sam everywhere. I want to write down two incidents just to capture them.

– One night while we were still in Florida, Max was walking between the respite house and the hospital. He suddenly felt Sam’s presence very strongly. He stopped and looked around and of course saw nothing. He asked Sam for a sign that it was him. At that instant, the street light across the street exploded… not dimmed, not went out, exploded with sparks…..

– Yesterday we all went to a very nice and very sad assembly at Sam’s school. The entire student body was in the gym to share memories and music for Sam. They have a fancy PA system that they use for events like this… about 5 min into the one hour program the PA just flipped out… the mike stopped working and there was a load noise in the background. After a few attempts of whacking the mike the hum stopped and the mike worked again.. until someone tried to speak… then it happened again. Once again.. they whacked the mike.. it started working.. until they tried to use it again.   They had to bring in a back up.   Max got up and told the family electrical disturbances story. (electical devices always freak out when I’m agitated.. I once blacked out Richmond after a minor traffic accident freaked me out) When Diane and I got up to speak.. I ended my piece with a statement of knowing that Sam was all around us. At that instant there was a huge BANG in the big PA system…. It was very cool

We feel you Sam ! We love you
-jc

Tuesday morning and the house is quiet. It’s really strange walking downstairs and not seeing a ton of people. Our house has been full of busy people.. and full of love all this week. Last night when Jen Kenny brought over dinner there were about 20 people here Folks are really helping us pull together the rest of this weeks activities, helping us manage the phone and email and coordinating folks who are coming in from out of town. We feel like we’re in a safe but sticky cocoon.
    Things are definitely not back to normal… but some semblence of the real world is creeping into our lives. I’m back running again and I get such great sense of Sam when out running in the woods. The house is full of music again as it always was… somebody always has a guitar in their hands.  The dog still wants to play tugawar…. I can see the old rytthm of our lives underneath all this activity. I still worry about how it will seem in the dark days in the middle of winter. One thing that’s becoming clearer to me is that each of us is taking in Sam’s loss differently. There’s no roadmap for grieving.. tehre are even some kinda nice surprises in all of this in terms of things you learn about yourself and those close to you.  Anyway…
    We’re off to the high school to participate in an assembly about Sam. It’s wierd to be center stage on this.. One funny thing.. Sam’s band.. Black Night Vengance was not allowed to play at the assembly because their music is ‘innappropriate’.. funny.. no 🙂  More tomorrow peace out

-jc

The first school day after Sam’s death. We’re trying to make things as normal as possible for Gabe. Normal is a funny word now. We came downstairs at 6:30 to find at least four friends asleep on our couches. The world is doing its best to take care of all of us. This week rings all the relatives, friends and others who want to pay their respects to Sam. It’s going to be nice to see everyone.. it’s also goign to be very tough to match their emotions. We’ve all had a head start. Our feelings now are much more private and quiet.   We love you Sam
-jc

Yesterday our house was so full of love… i lost count of the number of people who came through the house. Everyone had such great stories of Sam. It’s so hard to beleive that he’s not goign to walk in the door in a few minutes. Last night I went out to the barn. I needed to be alone for a few minutes and ‘talk’ to sam in my heart. As I walked out of the door to come back to the house, the largest and brightest shooting star I have ever seen came direcctly over my head and streaked into the northern sky. It gave me such a cool sense of peace. I came back in to the house and went to sleep.

Today Sam’s obit will appear in the paper and many more folks will first hear the news about Sam. It hurts to know that so many folks will feel that new pain. Here’s what we put in the paper:

SAM MARIANO COHN RICHMOND – Sam Cohn, 14, from Richmond, died this past week as a result of a traffic accident while on vacation with friends in Florida. He died while having fun and felt no pain or fear. He was born May 28, 1992, and grew up and lived in Richmond and loved this place. You could often see him swinging off the rope swing at the Jonesville Bridge, tubing down the Winooski or pulling a Cork-7 on his snowboard at Bolton. Sam was the beautiful son of John Cohn and Diane Mariano and brother of Max and Gabe Cohn. He is also missed by his loving grandparents, Gabe and Marcia Mariano of Endicott, N.Y.; and Hugh and Judy Cohn of Sherborn, Mass.; and his aunts, uncles and cousins: Joe and Pat Mariano and their children Victor and Vincent of Endicott, N.Y.; Steve and Denise Mariano and their children Stephanie, Elizabeth and Michael of Leavenworth, Kansas.; Dr. Billy and Shaun Cohn and their children Ben, Betsy, Billy, Berto and Christopher of Houston, Texas; and Dr. John Liddicoat and Mary and their daughter, Ellery of Minneapolis, Minn. Chaibaby, his dog, misses him, too. Sam packed so much living into his 14 years. He was beautiful both inside and out. Sam was the living epitome of the old proverb, “live each day to the fullest as if it were your last.” He held true to these words by being absolutely passionate about everything and anything he did in his life. He was a natural athlete, amazing snowboarder and gifted musician. He was as comfortable drumming in his hardcore band as playing Bach on his classical guitar. Sam had a 1,000-watt smile that he wore constantly. He was such a real and honest person that friendship came easily to him. His circle of friends knew no bounds of age, clique or interest. Sam will live on in the hearts and memories of the many, many folks whose lives he touched. Sam will also live on in the four people whose lives he saved through the organs he donated. That was just so Sam! We are planning several ways to honor Sam’s memory. We will be holding visiting hours at our home, The Old Jonesville Schoolhouse at 20 Duxbury Road in Richmond, from 4 to 10 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 30. There will also be a benefit concert in Sam’s memory at the Monitor Barn, Route 2, Richmond, from 6 to 10 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 1. We are also planning a celebration of Sam’s life at Memorial Auditorium at 250 Main St., Burlington, on Saturday, Dec. 2, beginning at 4:30 p.m. The celebration will include stories about Sam, multimedia presentations and live music by many of Sam’s musical friends. Dress is grunge casual. After the celebration there will be a potluck dinner downstairs in Memorial Auditorium. Please bring a dish or drinks to share if you can. Many friends are also using Sam’s MySpace (www.myspace.com/bree_bree_roarororf) as a place to share their thoughts. Please go there and add your comments. In lieu of flowers, please hug your kids, family and friends very hard and do something really good for someone else. If you wish to do more than that, you can donate in Sam’s memory to the John Cohn and Diane Mariano Foundation, c/o Oppenheimer Funds Legacy Program, P.O. Box 173673, Denver, CO 802173673 (a registered charitable trust). We plan to be using donations to set up scholarships based on need for Camp Abnaki, Burlington Rock Camp, and Bolton Mountain Snowboarding — all things that Sam really loved. Words cannot express the sadness we feel in losing Sam. Neither can they express the love and pride we feel for having him as a son, brother, and friend. We are grateful and amazed at the love and support of our family and friends and the community, and we are sure Sam is as well. Those of you who knew and loved Sam like we do, please help us to keep Sam’s spirit alive. Help us celebrate a short life lived full. We love you, Sam, always.