today is the day I always think of when this time of year comes around. By this time 14 years ago we were down in Florida saying goodbye to Sam. It was a surreal day. ‘Diane and I both slept in the hospital room.. In someways… I will never forget that day… In some ways I have trouble letting myself remember it.

Thinking about that always makes me wonder how I’ll feel when this day comes around. Today I felt strong. I felt great deal of love and gratitude for Sam for all the people who have been there for us these last 14 years.

I was trying to find a way to spend some time with Sam. Last night I stayed up very late looking through hundreds of tiny video clips on one of our old computer directories. All of the files had names like “unnamed 1234″.avi” Somewhere from Max, some work from GabÉ, some work for me… But then there were some from sam. I ended up finding about 30 little clips. I so loved watching and listening to him talk… He was so funny 🙂

Today I went for a run and decided to listen to music that Sam loved or reminded me of Sam.

Here’s a playlist of sam’s memories

I started with “here you me” by Jimmy Eat World. It was a song that was popular when Sam died and was the soundtrack to the memorial video that one of his friends made… I think it was Sumner. Every time I listen to it… Even now it makes me cry. Take a listen. https://www.songfacts.com/facts/jimmy-eat-world/hear-you-me

I listened to these from Sams playlists during my run

• “Party hard” By Andrew WK
• “Du hast” by Rammstein
• ” Forget me knot” By serge Tarkien
• “”Leyenda” Played by Andrés Segovia …Sam was an excellent classical Guitar player and had just mastered this piece right before he passed. This guitar teacher James played it at the memorial service http://www.samstones.org/music/05%20Asturias.mp3
• “Lithium” by Nirvana. As sung by the Mmu choir at Sam’s Memorial http://www.samstones.org/music/10%20Lithium.mp3

My favorite song today was

• “Song to my brother”… By Max Cohn… He wrote it for Sams memorial service. Please listen to it http://www.samstones.org/music/04%20Song%20for%20My%20Brother.mp3

You can Hear all the music that sam’s friends played at his memorial service at this link

http://samstones.org/WordPress1/?page_id=72

Hearing that music and hearing Sam on those recordings is brought me a lot of peace today. Even though I’m sad… Really sad…. I’m so happy to have known that boy… And loved him.

I still do

Night all, nite sam

-me

ps. Remember.. we’re having a virtual toast for sam 9-9:30 PM EST tonight.. Please join us if you can ! https://fb.me/e/1RHEP70Nb

I’m standing in the exact spot where we got the call 14 years ago tonight that Sam would not survive .

I’ve thought of that moment every day or the past 14 years . We miss our beautiful boy so Much. So fun.. so nice .. so much great energy .

Time has changed so many things in these past 14 years ..our love for Sam does not change . I still talk to him every day

And We can still hear him in our hearts

Our fiend Madeline just found this great picture of Sam and Chai. (Thanks Madeline !)

It really captures them both

Every year on this night I listen to the last phone message sam

Left for us on that day . He was so happy .. doing what he loved .,

http://www.samstones.org/music/sammsg_v3.mp3

His last words

To us were ‘ love you, bye!’

Love you, bye my son

Love you bye !!!

Nite all, nite sam

-me

. I just came out of her wonderful almost 2 hour meeting with a group of students. They called them selves TKS… The knowledge society. I was invited to the TKS meeting by my friend Eesha: Who i co-lead theC2 “inventors like you” session a few weeks back.. The organizer of TKS was this amazing guy Nadeem. The students were amazingly bright and engaging. TKS is a completely optional extracurricular program. The students participate in “brain pods”… Where They explore deep technical and philosophical questions. Dee described how they teach each other to have strong opinions that are easily changed. Is it fascinating for you looking at the Socratic method. I got to witness some of that back-and-forth between the students as they playfully argued about some points around artificial intelligence. They all choose a WBP… Worlds biggest problem and do independent study in them. There were some pretty amazing ones including a project on nano sensors to detect brain impairment, and a project related to reversing aging In animals. The students perspective, amazingly insightful. The time passed so quickly. I would love to find a way to look at these folks. I left very inspired

I want directly for that meeting to a web convert That our friend Gary was giving on Facebook live. He was to have been doing a show at Sandbar and but it got called off because of the new state wide restrictions. It was great to listen to him play..Definitely not as fun as being there… But still fun

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention Diane Kyle and I woke up at 5:15 to claim Bolton. It was really cold and snowy up there. It was 12° at the base so probably eight or nine at the top and blowing like crazy . It was beautiful 

Quite a busy day. Ready for bed

Nite all, nite sam

-me

Super long day .. though not much to report . Went for a run today in the beautiful snow .. came across this samstone I left here weeks ago

Now on a zoom call with most of the family

This makes about 13 hours of zoom/ Webex today

Nite all, nite sam

-me