I was going to title this post ‘not my day’.. but then thought better of it.. it is my day.. and I need to own it.. As I wrote last night.. I find I’m struggling again with resilience.. I am finding the boundary I try to maintain with how my job is going and my sense of self has been harder to maintain these past couple of weeks.. Diane and I were talking about  it this morning.. We were noticing how all of us were still very much reliving dylan’s passing.. .. and even though we .. like many of dylans friends,  are back out in the world world.. we’re still not normal.. far from it..   I’m remembering the need to be gentle with ourselves as we settle in to our modified reality.

That conversation helped me get my head around my reactions today.. and the world has given me ample tests otoday.. I had a very tough meeting this morning, I was not able to get the eariler flight I wanted in order to see my sister and her family, I got the royal (20 minute) pat down when I went through security (they didn’t like the homemade electronics I was carrying).. and subsequently missed my plane..   …but..  I can still make my connection

.. and somehow I’m still smiling..

and was able to appreciate thhat the guy sitting next to me had the same duct tape on his computer…

life is hard, full and rich..  .. isn’t it…?

love you all, love you sam

-me