eight years ago i was sitting in this exact spot.. when we got the call that our son Sam had been in an accident and would not survive. . There are so many things about that night and the days after that I cannot remember.. that I cannot allow myself to remember. ..

But I do remember standing right here.. holding diane and gabe. Max was away at school… and sam was down visiting friends in Florida..

He’d called me that afternoon and left me a message.. After he died I listened to it again and again.. every day  for months…

here it it is..    I love listening to it still..

He said he’d call us later.,. he probably did.. but I don’t remember..

I do remember that he said he loved us.

Sam has been part of every day since.. I still love that boy as warmly and fully as I did the last time I saw him.. he’s still a presence in my life and will always be..

These next couple of days are hard to process.. tonight is the day sam’s soul left his body, tomorrow the day the world recognized that, the the day after the day his organs saved four other people.

I’m stuck here in the future not able to stop my son from walking off that curb… though I can reach out to him and send him love and peace..I can also send that love and peace to myself and my family as we started that long and hard road that lead me back to now..

I love you my son and wish you peace..

nite all, nite sam

-me