I’m a little written out from trying to reconstruct yesterday’s post from memory… but I’ll try to do today now

Good mourning… (stupid play on words I know ) but that’s how it feels. The day is bright again and our mood is an OK mix of saddness and peace. We’re learning to accept how this mourning process comes to us.. We find it’s OK for us to have spells where we’re happy.. or busy.. or spacing out… and times when we’re deeply sad. Several folks have asked whether we need ‘space’ or ‘time’ to be by ourselves to mourn.. the answer is no.. we get plenty of time by ourselves..we really welcome visitors or invites to do something…please do not worry that your will distract us from our business of working through Sam’s death… we will be working on that forever….
   Yesterday was a pretty good day.. After the MMU organ donor talk I went to visit Jim Cleary a stone engraver we know… he does really cool things with sandblasted granite. Diane’s frend Marci  had a very cool vision of Sam while doing a Reiki session with Diane.. the image was of the Mayan necklace that Sam always wore. It spelled S-A-M phonetically in one using Mayan glyphs. Sam got that necklace when he Diane and I went to Mexico in June. We’re having those images sandblasted into a rock for our garden in memory of Sam…   It was great being around Jim and seeing how he worked with such a hard and lasting material. . I then drove down with good friend Alan to Monkton to visit my friend Homer Wells… a cool inventer/artist who works in metal , plastic, wood and wax (yes wax).I know it sounds strange, but I’m  feeling the need to create and be around creative people since Sam died. I think I’m going to weld something for Sam today…
    Here’s one really powerful Sam story that happend yesterday.. Alan and I had a great conversation in the car…  Towards the end of the drive I was talking to Alan about our life after Sam’s death. I was confidently telling him that I will continue to miss Sam ..at the same time I’m committed to live my life fully and keep joy in my life.. Sam would have wanted that afterall. I dropped Alan off and was driving home on Wes White Hill… The confidence of my conversation with Alan started to fade as I drove down the dark road alone .. I asked outload to no one in particular..  ‘will I really be ok ?!’ At that instance the trip-hop remix ‘Organ Donor’ (!!!!) by DJ Shadow  (http://www.last.fm/music/DJ+Shadow/_/Organ+Donor) came on the radio  (XM satelite station XMU.. one of 140 that we get) .. it’s a *really* obscure track that I always listened to at home. right after that they played any even more obscure  DJ Shadow remix piece “Building steam from a grain of sand”  (http://hype.non-standard.net/track/191711) ..  The opening monologue on that piece is

Pretty cool..  no ?   Please don’t worry that I’m loosing touch here.. Maybe these  are ‘just’ powerful cooincidences .. but I’m begining to see that the word ‘coincidence’ is too dismissive… What do you all think ?
Gotta go enjoy this day now.. Peace out Sam…
-jc