Saturday Evening – calm before the storm

It’s another calm before the storm evening. Tonight is the Winter Ball at MMU and all the kids are converging on our house for a post Ball ‘sleep’ over. I say ‘sleep’ in quotes because I suspect very little of that will be done by anyone.. including us. 

We had a good day today. It was cold outside so Diane and I just puttered around inside. Gabe was up on the mountain and Max was busy sewing blinking electroluminescent wire onto the edges of his $5 thrift store jacket for tonight’s dance.   I didn’t get to do the welding I’d planned today as I found that I was out of shielding gas. It was just as well.. its was 20 degrees in the barn. Brrrr.
   
My puttering was mostly directed at getting the Samstones Web page up and running … it’s not yet. (For those interested, I’ve decided to use the WordPress Wiki system to run the site. I should have a new design up early next week.  If anyone is  a WordPress expert, please let me know)  I have spent a bunch of time looking at Sam’s pictures as I start to integrate the web site.  That can be very hard.. it can also be very sweet. I find myself smiling and crying at the same time.. we have some really goofy pictures of that boy.. Another thing  I’ve been doing is looking at other memorial sites on the web. It is a pretty sad  but interesting way to spend a few hours. When you find one, it’s impossible not to get drawn into a person’s memorial site. Each one gives you a glimpse into a person’s life, their story, and a connection to the many people who miss them. You find yourself wondering.. ‘were they happy ?’… ‘were they popular ?’.. You never need to wonder if they were loved … it’s is usually very obvious from these sites that the person was dearly loved and missed. After all.. it’s an act of love building a memorial site like this.
   Diane and I spent some time talking about these websites and about the LA Times article I posted yesterday. The article had made me feel uncomfortable but I wasn’t exactly sure why. I didn’t like the tone of the psychologist in the article who said that ” .. writing on a dead friends MySpace page is similar to visiting a cemetery… .. all are attempts to maintain a relationship with someone who has died”. That struck me as somehow cold.   I decided to post it anyway. I realized this morning that the article forced me to consider that some aspects of our tragedy are played out in other families and in other towns. At the same time,  I know that Sam’s spirit and its effect on our community has been unlike anything  I’ve ever experienced., heard of or even imagined. I’m now realizing that each loss like Sam’s is totally unique. There’s just no way to compare them.  This is just one more lesson on this very tough but interesting journey.
     Oh.. I need to jump back into the here and now.. I hear major activity downstairs as the first wave of tonight’s kids are arriving (and it’s ‘just’  11:53 PM !)  I better get down there and start shoveling food.. it’s going to be a long and fun night… Sam.. I feel you here.. enjoy the party ! 

-jc

ps. Sawyer’s mom Deb asked me to give folks a heads up that  we’re goign to have a special  celebration at Bolton Valley on Wednesday night. to mark the unveiling of the custom rail that Sawyer’s family made in Sam’s honor. We don’t know the exact time, but it will probably be right before the start of the normal Wednesday night ‘Night Rider’s” competition which is always a blast. I’ll fll everyone in on the details as soon as I know them. Ya’ll come !

pss. I may have already posted this picture.. but I love it so here it is again. He’s wearing his favoirte ‘boomstick’ shirt. .. I love that guy so much