I just returned from Dad’s night out. I went to RiRa’s with about 9 guys. It was fun being out.. but weird too I ran into a ton of people I new downtown and at the bar. I find it can be really awkward running into someone I haven’t seen since Sam died. I never take offense when someone doesn’t know what to say. It’s just interesting to see who is comfortable talking to me and who isn’t. It’s sometime takes awhile for people to realize it’s still ‘me’ in here.  RiRa’s was a good choice because they have a quiet back room where we could talk. We mostly talked about our kids.. which was fine with me.   Around 8 the Tuesday night trivia contest started up. I’d forgotten about it. I used to occasionally go there on Tuesday’s with work friends.. The questions were a mix of obscure knowledge,  pop culture, music and sports.. Out team dominated.. but, dear friends, I must admit that we cheated like crazy. The wonderful thing about carrying a device like a blackberry is that you’re never more than a few keystrokes away from Google or Wikipedia J… Turns out that we weren’t the only one cheating.. several others had their trusty cell phones out.. we just typed faster. My years of frantic texting have finally paid off !. We won a shirt (to split 9 ways ) and a round of beer. I even tried to  decline the prizes because of our unorthodox methods.. nut was told that all was fair in love and trivia contests… By the way, do you know:

what South American capital is the furthest south in the southern hemisphere ?  (Montevideo) 

Do you know in what decade Yves St. Laurant was born ? (1930’s),

Do you know how man time zones there are between  Spain and Poland ? (0)

I took advantage of the night downtown to do a little Valentine’s day shopping.  It was pretty hard going store to store looking at all the goofy tokens of love that people associate with the holiday. It’s never been a big deal for us…ut this year it will certainly feel different. I was just thinking of the metaphor of  ‘giving your heart to someone you love’  in the context of Sam’s story. Man.. he gave the ultimate gift of love that day. 
   As if he could read my mind, my brother called around 10:30. He’d just attended an event at Texas Heart Institute celebrating 23 years of successful heart transplant surgery. 23 years ago the anti rejection drugs became good enough to all ow for the long term heart transplant to be possible. Billy told me that there were several 20 year plus surviving recipients at the event. Billy’s friend and mentor Bud Frazier gave a talk at the event. Bud evidently has now officially done more heart transplants than any other  Surgeon  on the planet. about the Doctors and nurses that make this complicated surgery work out. He also mentioned the true heroes of this process are  the donors.. people like Sam..   the thought of that warms my heart.   As a further coincidence, my brother is scheduled to do 2 heart transplants tonight. He told me that he now looks at the procedure differently. He’s always been a sensitive guy.. its just now more personalized when the donor and/or the recipient is a kid. Billy said he now gives more thought to the donor heart coming from someone’s beautiful son or daughter.. just as he sees the recipient lying there hoping to continue their life.. I sure couldn’t do what Billy does.. but I’m sure glad that he and folks like him can.
    Oy .. it’s late again.. I need to go do some Valentines day planning. I think we’re in for a snow day tomorrow. At this point, Sam would be wearing his pajama’s backwards to make sure we got enough snow to cancel school.  I need to go out and finish up a valentines day project in the barn with max.. Hope to get some sleep after that…  When you wake up tomorrow.. give your valentine a squeeze for Sam…  Happy Valentines Day I love you with all my heart my son…  Be mine..
 

-jc

 ps. I’ve had the Regina Spektor song ‘On the Radio’ in my head all night.. There’s a section of it that really fits

you’re young until you’re not
you love until you don’t
you try until you can’t
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath

this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some–
someone else’s heart
pumping someone else’s blood

 and walking arm in arm
you hope it don’t get harmed
but even if it does
you’ll just do it all again

 …..