My jetlag physically and mentally caught up with me last night and I found my self completely awake and staring at the ceiling at 3 AM.. I lay there for a bit.. then resigned that I was not going  back to sleep.. I got up and did a sort of walking meditation that I do for about the next 3 hours.. This is a big, dark, quite house at those hours so it was an lonely/solemn/peaceful kind of thing to do.   It reminded me very much about the times I walked all three baby’s in the middle of the night to put them to sleep. One of the things that came to me in my long meditation last night was the understanding that I need to start changing  the way I interact with Max and Gabe a little bit..   In many ways I find that the time I spend with them lately always has an element of Sam in it.. .. (everything  I do has an element of Sam in it).  The thing is, that reference sometimes gets in the way  of our own natural relationship.  I’m trying to center my relationship with Sam on Sam… and sort of reconnect with Max and Gabe.  I still have room in my heart for all three boys. Each in his turn.   It seems like one of those things you wouldn’t have to think out… but I’m finding the need to relearn many things that came natural to me ones. Anyway, It felt good to be thinking about the boys  like that on this dark early morning..   at about 6 I managed to fall asleep for a few hours until my first meeting.. I woke up without a fever for the first time in 5 and a half days. Whoo-hoo !   I’m definitely on the mend.

.   Even though I was away for 2 weeks.. the time difference allowed me to keep up with most of my day job meetings, email and phone calls at night… so I’m not even that behind. I think I would be if I were being more productive. I did a full day of work and actually made more progress than I expected.  Even so.. I still feel like I’m stuck in low gear..
    One thing I was thinking about today was how other stuff  like the weather, health, amount of sleep etc.. effect our outlook so much more now..  A sunny day and I can imagine traveling the planet with my family spreading SamStones everywhere.. A  drizzly day like today and I can barely imagine next week.   I consider myself as moody as anyone else.. yet I’ve never had these kind of swings.. I wonder if this Is how someone who’s bipolar feels ?
     I knocked off exactly at quitting time to spend some more time with Gabe.. Diane figured I was too sick still to expose the other folks in yoga to my germs.. so Gabe and I decided to go expose the good folks in BestBuy and iParty  instead.. We had a fun mini-night out working on Gabe’s idea for the Bolton pond skimming  contest which is in two weeks..  Last year Sam  and I dragged a kayak up there…  which was a funny disaster.. this year I’m not telling what Gabe and I are doing..  come see.Gabe was kind enough to wash my car windows tonight.. I caught him through the window here hard at work.

   We got back just in time to join the mandatory pre-garbage day house cleaning ‘party’.   It’s amazing how fast we can clean this place up when all five of us are focused.. Five is because of Scott… our rental relative..  Scott is totally awesome.. he cleans , he brings in wood.. he makes noise to simulate activity in the house.. if you don’t have a Scott of your own,… let me suggest that you get one..

As we cleaned.. Max related that during his Reiki session today Marci  said that from his energy she sensed he  needed more time with his dad (me) ..  which I thought tied in exactly with my insomniac-al thoughts of earlier this morning..  Max also told me that he was able to start his stalled car with Reiki today.. I don’t believe in this stuff.. but it  sure works !  And so does Max …Here he is  hard at work on Light Color and Design.. pretty stuff. !

   OK.. I need to get some sleep Gnite all.. gnite Sam.

-jc

ps Several folks have commented about the bed jumping scene I posted from Shanghai.. I’m starting to be surprised just how many people don’t  jump on their hotel beds.  As you can see here you’re in a  rapidly shrinking minority.