Redoxmorphic…… that was just the way I felt this morning when I woke up,    Gabe, Trevor and I had camped out on the trampoline last night under the stars (and shooting stars) .. it was beautiful and pretty cold (42 this morning !)..    Just after I awoke, Barb. Justin and Bill A. showed up with a backhoe to do some soil profiles on our broken septic leach field. Our 9 months of mourning, entertaining and housing has caused our system to crap out.. so to speak. From what I heard  from Justin and Barb.. there’s some hope that we can install a new system without too much hassle.. because the soil is not too redoxymoprhic.. whatever that means.. I’ll take it…  I did manage to toss a SamStone into the test trenches.. i even climbed down in them to get a worms eye view of my yard. Pretty wierd.

 

The funny thing is that Gabe and Trevor managed to keep sleeping peacefully as Bill dug two 5 foot trenches in the yard with his handsome but none-too-quiet backhoe.  

 

 

Sleeping outside was the perfect thing to do last night. I’d been in a really down mood for the past week. Last night we ended up having an impromptu spaghetti dinner for a bunch of kids at the house..

we then went out back and launched another of the hot air balloons. This one went up beautifully.. then gave us quite a scare when  it almost landed on the barn roof. Miraculously it missed the barn and came down between the barn and the house where we caught it intact. We all then piled in the car with some fireworks and motored up to Bolton for a brief end-of-Voices-movie salute.. I re-launched the hot air balloon after writing Sam’s name all over it and it sailed off into the distance.. They really are spectacular.. as were the fireworks we bought at Hooksett Fireworks. There is simply no better way to mark or celebrate  something than shooting off fireworks. 

Max stayed up at the crew party until the wee hours.. He and Josh drove away  with burning fireworks taped to boat rack… I heard it was pretty cool to see.

 

Today was much, much quieter.. all the voices folks except Travis  are gone. Max is getting ready to go back to school.. and I’m wondering around pretty lost. I did manage to get some good stuff done at work..  but I’m so distracted and .. well.. sad.    I ran into the lunch room around 1 today to grab a quick salad and my friend V   the lunch guru stopped me and told me that she could tell by my eyes that I am  lost.

 

My pride  flared and I began to tell her.. ‘no.. I’m OK’.. then I realized.. no.. I’m NOT ok.. I’m about as far from OK as a person can be and still be walking around Something in me keeps telling me that I’m supposed to  be getting stronger.. better… whatever.    V came  over to give me a hug and I just broke down in the lunch line.. pretty weird.   What is it about me that makes me want to reassure everyone that I’m coping ok ? 

 

(ps.. that’s a ‘coping’ saw.. please forgive the visual pun )

 

OK.. gotta sleep now.. more tomorrow.

 

Gnite all, gnite Sam

 

-me

 

Ps. I saw this wierd movie title in the movie rental place..

 

pss. Beutiful sunset tonight !