I’m somewhat at a loss for what to write this evening… on one hand, today was full of lots of fun and interesting stuff… on the other hand.. today marks the anniversary of Sam’s last full day as we knew him.. I’m torn between the ‘real’ world and the world that’s so much bigger.
That’s such a big deal.. yet at the same time.. what’s a year mean ?
Tomorrow marks the time it took for the earth to circle the Sun … after our son left this world. 365 times the earth has tuned on it’s own axis. Is it really different from all the days that have passed since Sam’s death ?
I don’t know, but I’m guessing that, in many ways,
tomorrow’s going to be like most of the others.. I’ll wake up grappling with the fact that Sam is gone. I’ll take comfort in the love of my family.. I’ll feel buoyed up by the folks in my community.. and I’ll have some really dark times missing Sam.. In the end, I’ll take stock of the day and record the parts I care to share in this commentary..
I am guessing that will be the rhythm of our lives for quite a long while.. Maybe forever,. Tomorrow is different
only in that our society chooses to recognize it as significant.
So much has happened in this past year to think about.. we’ve had literally thousands of folks come in to our lives to share their care an feelings. Sam’s spirit has been passed on through the efforts of his good friends in the Friends of Sam movement. The FoS have raised thousands of dollars for local kids… The funds that folks have generously donated to the Sam Cohn foundation are allowing kids across Vermont to enjoy snowboarding. music, and camping , all things our Sam loved. Sam’s name is on about 4000 SamStones made by his friends and now spread across every continent on the globe.. We get messages daily about folks placing or finding them in some of the most beautiful, spiritually meaningful and politically important sites from across the globe. Sam’s many friends continue to write to him publicly and privately in his MySpace sharing their thoughts and love for our son. This has shown me the healing power of the internet and the global community it supports. Sam left our physical life, yet his spirit seems to be magnified in so many ways.. The mystery of his passing is with us every day. Why did this happen to Sam? What does it mean ? How can this be ? Where is he now ? Questions that will never get answered…
So much has changed in our lives… but one thing has not… the love we have for our kids… for Sam.. I love you so much my son.. Good night…
-me
ps. If you haven’t already, please share a story, though or wish for Sam on the SamStones story page here.
